To be 24 and never want to live with a man again?

[heywassuphello]

Anyone else?! 😩

Suggesting that meeting the "right man" is key to a successful life a implies that a life lived any other way is a miserable failure and most of us here just feel liberated from those ideas and enjoy our independence.

Well I don't think I implied that at all and having re-read my post I still don't think I did! If that is the way you interpreted it then sorry but that is not how it was intended. See my post above.

In a lot older than you OP but I feel the same way. I love my independence, I would never live with a man again. Too much pandering to their male ego. Could not be bothered with all that again. On a recent thread one poster said they wouldn't want to have to fight for equality in their own home. That definitely struck a chord with me

Love this post! I hope you are ok OP

Im quite happy living with dh , and hope it stays that way
We have out own space if we want and own separate interests
We share the house workload and kids and im not keen on an empty , quiet house
So each to their own

I think all those with kids and who
Live apart have also got to be willing that you have kids 50/50
I know a lot of women who don't want this they want kids full time and dads to only be part time
If we want all equal we need to also accept that some men ( not all) want their kids full time really as well
So more may liook for 50/50 going forwards as work patterns change etc and work becomes flexible

But Op always do whatever makes YOU happy as I think thats what we all need to remember ans everyone is different but so many of us don't put ourself first
Good luck op ans hope your little ones feel better soon

YANBU

I am very happily single and would never live with a man ever again. I just cannot be arsed.

It's so lovely not having to compromise over every bloody thing, large and small. Not having to deal with their awful family members.

I am not short of offers but really wouldn't have it any other way. I can't even be bothered to date

Take care of yourself and your DC and just try to do the little things that make you and them happy OP. never lower your bar or think you "need" a man.

@RaisedByPangolins

I’m 44 and never want to live with a man again! YANBU. Any particular reasons you’ve come to this conclusion so young? It takes most of us a lot longer

Haha, LOL

Separated from DH a year ago after almost 20 years together. Still love each other/see each other almost daily/go away together/he stays at mine sometimes - when other family visit/he had covid etc... And we're having counselling trying to work through our issues.

However - I LOVE my space/freedom/not sharing a bathroom/not having to consider anyone else/not having to listen to someone else coughing or their music or their phone conversations... BUT we started counselling with a view to reconciling & him "coming home". But if he does, all the step-children (on both sides iycwim) /other family issues will re-emerge & we'll annoy the crap out of each other (I get very annoyed/he gets bolshy)

But if he thought he was NEVER coming back here, it could change 'everything' which is going relatively smoothly, after a v v rocky/contentious post-separation start. His goal is to come home...

I also love my home just because I'm so settled/find change very very stressful - but couldn't really stay here long term alone. So having him back here, seems to be part of the deal allowing me to stay here myself.

But as much as i love him/now doing 'nice' things together again - the thought of him 'invading' my space just doesn't seem so appealing...

And I can understand/relate to EVERY woman who seems sure about NOT having a man about the house (older MNetters will remember the sitcom)

You'll be a whole lot happier.

The myth of marriage - it suits the patriarchal society but it generally makes women unhappy.

It's commendable that you have reached this conclusion at 24.

Most women take until at least 40.

Some don't until 60!

I'm 64 and have been in relationships with both sexes. In my experience I'd say most women would be better off not living with men.

@Joystir59

I'm 64 and have been in relationships with both sexes. In my experience I'd say most women would be better off not living with men.

Could you please explain further?

This is why I don't mind getting old/er.
I have this internal peace that makes me feel content being on my own.

In my early 20s it was chasing men and having arguments, fallouts etc.

I've been single for 7 years and had always been in long term relationships before that.

I love living just with my dd. No snoring (ex was a horrendous snorer), hygiene issues (ex did not shower often) and I have been able to focus on myself more.

I'm not sure I'd want to live with a man again!

I have a partner of 15 years. We have separate houses.

I can see both sides of this.

I have a very happy marriage which is decades long. We married when we were young students, and it's still the best thing I ever did, no contest.

However if something awful happened, I'd never try another relationship again. The idea of trying to connect with some stranger and then bringing him into my home or life is unthinkable now.

I often read comments like this on MN and often feel the ladies doth protest too much.

@AICM what do you mean by that?

I sometimes feel that women saying they never want to live with a man again would, in some cases, want to but can't find one. They then say they don't want a man to protect themselves disappointment.

...from disappointment...

Protecting yourself from disappointment is a perfectly reasonable path to take. When you consider the number of relationships that end in divorce or separation, alongside those which continue along the spectrum of generally unfulfilling to outright abusive, the majority of relationships end in disappointment.

[quote heywassuphello]@Wrenna both I think.

I came to this conclusion after my boyfriend of 6 years left me yesterday. We have a 1.5 year old and a 2 month old (who are both ill atm). Im heartbroken but I also feel feel free and a bit lighter. Like im not having to justify my decisions or put a front on for anyone. Even though it's fucking hard caring for them both on my own.

Im sure my views will change but god the prospect of being free forever seems so inviting [/quote]
I am so sorry OP . Sadly some men can be complete bastards, and I do not blame you for taking this view. My sister had the same thing probably ten years ago- a man who told her repeatedly that we did not need a piece of paper to confirm our love (or some such bollocks), buggered off with another woman who he married a few months later leaving her with a baby and a toddler. However, the story got better ... Within 12 months she had found herself a gorgeous, younger lovely man (now married) who is great with the kids. Ex's marriage failed was furious when my sis found a new partner and at one stage the police had to be called as (when drunk) he refused to hand the kids back when the new partner was there. You will not be surprised that I had quite limited sympathy.

YANBU.

I am nearly 50 and absolutely certain I will never live with a man again.

Cohabitation is massively over-rated. Unless you have kids with someone there is no upside and all downside.

I find it really encouraging that so many younger women are realising this too.

Well, there's a definite "upside" when you're happy living together. Just not when you're better off living alone.