To think that daughter wont be able to go clubbing due to tightening of age checks

[Carolinethe]

My DD is one of the youngest in her year -August baby- and so has only just turned 17.

She has several friends who are turning 18 shortly and one has already mentioned going to nightclubs etc. She gors to the pub with friends and I gather has been served alcohol before now but I dont like to probe too much.

My perception is that licensing requirements have been tightened up so its much harder to get in if you are under 18 these days. I dont want to tell her to try and blag it and have the embarassment of being turned away by a bouncer for not being old enough when all her friends will have got in. So realisticall is she fated to not going clubbing until until next year when probably the attraction will have worn off/ everyone will be going away?

In my day we were attending clubs from about 15 onwards and I had various forms of ID stating fale birthdates to make us 18+ for when we were asked. I believe now this has been clamped down on so that id is only available with proof of birthday etc so no chance of faking it.

what do others do? Or is it out of reach for her?

My DD was the same. Her friends just went to the pub where my DD drank lime and soda water then she came home when they went clubbing. And took the piss remorselessly of their insta pics of being too drunk to stand and feeling shit the next day
She's made up for it since!!

@CatsArePeople

And your teens’ job to ignore you.

Good luck with that. But I bet if this was a thread about playing GTA, you lot would be clutching pearls.

Worked fine for me.

I certainly think gaming is more of a waste of time than dancing.

@martingrowler

All the clubs and a lot of the bars in my town demand ID no matter how old you look.

I had a similar experience in Birmingham on my 50th birthday! I was out with my son and a friend (22 & 30) who weren't asked for ID but I was!

Most year 13s are far younger than they were in our day.
If they go out, when not gaming, they go to nandos or bowling, lasar quest or those mini golf places.
Quite sad really.

Quite sad really.

Why?
I find it quite sad that you judge them for enjoying more "wholesome" pastimes rather than drinking and clubbing.

As an aside our local town centre won't let anyone under 18 into clubs after 10pm, so DD never went out in town in year 13.

She discovered clubbing at university and decided that she hadn't missed much as as she hates most music played in clubs.

Tightening of age checks is a good thing. Venues and their staff can get into huge trouble if they are caught serving alcohol to anyone underage.

Not only that, many people go to clubs to pull, and would assume anyone they approach is an adult. Back in my clubbing days, my 21 year old mate pulled some guy and were having a proper snog near the DJ booth. After a bit of probing, turns out the chap she pulled was 15. I also knew of a 14 year old who had fake ID and would sleep around with blokes 2 or 3 times her age.

I have voted YABU for your bizarre concern that your underage daughter won’t be be able to go clubbing…

There are stiff fines for bar staff and the establishment for serving alcohol to under 18s.

Would you say making false ID to receive other kinds of services is ok? It’s called being dishonest and deceitful. Set standards and keep to them.

My daughter is a late august baby and had exactly the same issue. You'll be pleased to know she survived that year of missing out on clubbing with her friends, there were house parties etc to go to.

Surely it’s a good thing if nightclubs are tightening up on underage people wanting to go in?

Night clubs are awful places where you have to really watch your drinks with scuzzy people spiking drinks etc.

I would be glad my Daughter has restrictions as she and her friends seem in a great hurry to want to grow up and do adult things.

Ds1 had this issue, he’s a May birthday, and that was compounded by going to college at 16, and the majority of his cohort were doing resits or adult learners. There was only about one place he could get into (friend of a friend worked there), he went to some house parties, but did miss out a bit on the social side. He turned 18 just after Covid hit, so didn’t actually get to go clubbing until he was 19. (Ironically went once and wasn’t too fussed!) But yes, things have really changed id wise. I was drinking in pubs at 15, but got asked in Asda a couple of months ago 😂 and I’m nearly 40.

Underage drinking is stupid as venues can lose their licence and staff can be prosecuted and lose their jobs due to these thoughtless individuals.

Hopefully their do Think 25 and ID young people.

I first went to a pub at 14 (with fake ID) and was clubbing regularly from 15 onwards. I had a great time but was totally shitfaced drunk most of the time and I’m so glad my daughter won’t get to experience the same. I did a lot of dangerous stupid things that I still cringe about now.

@CatsArePeople

This thread is so weird. So many parents willing for their kids to break the law because... it's fun?

Do you feel the same about underage sex?

I'm not sure it's so much a case of willing/not willing. The OP asked if it were still possible for a child who's young in her school year to get into clubs underage. My answer, based on my experience of having a child who is now 17, is that it's not only possible but very easy.

I have never actively encouraged or condoned my DD's underage clubbing habit. Quite the reverse. I hated nightclubs (went to one once, at university, and hated it) and have never been a big drinker. However, given that she is going to do it regardless, I think it's more important to make sure that the lines of communication remain open, and that she knows she can always ring me if she's in a fix. I will always retrieve her, and will keep my maternal judgement and lectures until the following day, because the only thing that matters is - given that what she is choosing to do is inherently risky - that she always has somewhere safe to go if things go wrong.

See if you can help her think of ways of getting in. Yes- breaking the rules! Everybody with red blood in their veins does things they shouldn't when underage. They should reverse the anti- youth crackdowns of the Blair years and give full adult rights to 16-year-olds.

I’ve been refused entry at that age 13 years ago so I don’t think she’ll get in to be honest.

My DS group of friends decided that none of them would go to the pub/nightclub until the youngest one turned 18. That is what friends do.

ManAlive24

Not sure why you're so keen for your daughter to go clubbing, tbh...

I wish my mother had been worried about me getting into nightclubs. My gorgeous friend would tell the bouncer she left her boob tube on the fire escape they would look confused or embarrassed and just let us in.You would be surprised how often this tactic worked. It was this or we got the fire doors open but that was because we couldn’t pay the entry and afford drinks.
My mother was very much of the learn by your own mistakes and have nothing to rebel against. It kind of worked. I still to this day crave stability in my life. That seems far more exotic to me.

Never get my head round this, my DD was 18 at the end of Sep and has been out until 2am every weekend and I hate it, but accept it without fuss because she is an adult.
Why you would want to deal with that kind of thing earlier than you need to is beyond me.. DD met my neighbour’s 16yo in there. I was wondering where her mother thought she was, but maybe she condoned it.

@marktayloruk

See if you can help her think of ways of getting in. Yes- breaking the rules! Everybody with red blood in their veins does things they shouldn't when underage. They should reverse the anti- youth crackdowns of the Blair years and give full adult rights to 16-year-olds.

You can bugger off with “your red blood in your veins” There are 40-50 year old men prowling these clubs, do you really want your potentially drunk 16yo dealing with those kind of morons?

DD would have had the same problem if it hadn't been for Covid (June birthday with all of her friends born October and November).

They've all missed out on learning some 'street smarts' from the comfort of home before going to Uni.

DD's first experience of clubbing was during freshers week which wasn't great. Lots of people spiked, which wasn't a thing in my day (1980s).

We live near a major city, and my kids are always ID’d ( I don’t think that apostrophe should really be there, but it’s the only way it works) I can’t even buy a bottle of Baileys for my elderly neighbour if 20yo daughter is with me, if she hadn’t got her ID ( for fear I’m buying alcohol for a minor. Baileys. But we accept that’s how it is) They run the very real risk of not getting in somewhere if they don’t have ID, and are then stranded, if all their friends are allowed in. I do believe some low level ‘borrowing’ goes on, but DD’s friends were all around the same age at same time. They had house parties if 2-3 main guests couldn’t go clubbing. Yes, much more lax in my day, and I mulled over this very thing the other day, I saw some young lads, smoked what looked very much like weed outside Sainsburys and thought ‘ Aah, this will be the knock-on effect of some bright spark cracking down on underage drinking and adults buying booze for them- who’d have thought it, it’s just never as easy as it may seem’

Not clubs but DD was in pubs at 17 with someones old provisional driving licence.

I remember picking up my o level results and heading to the pub to celebrate 🤣🤣

I used to use my own ID when I was 17 and still got into places, 90% of the time they wouldn't bat an eyelid. But I'll stress that some places let you away with it and others didn't it's just luck who allows it really, but they would give my ID back if they refused entry and told me to try again in a few months. Also some places used Facebook Age to allow you entry - no joke. Im 23 now so this was only 6 years ago.