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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that daughter wont be able to go clubbing due to tightening of age checks

240 replies

Carolinethe · 15/10/2021 14:08

My DD is one of the youngest in her year -August baby- and so has only just turned 17.

She has several friends who are turning 18 shortly and one has already mentioned going to nightclubs etc. She gors to the pub with friends and I gather has been served alcohol before now but I dont like to probe too much.

My perception is that licensing requirements have been tightened up so its much harder to get in if you are under 18 these days. I dont want to tell her to try and blag it and have the embarassment of being turned away by a bouncer for not being old enough when all her friends will have got in. So realisticall is she fated to not going clubbing until until next year when probably the attraction will have worn off/ everyone will be going away?

In my day we were attending clubs from about 15 onwards and I had various forms of ID stating fale birthdates to make us 18+ for when we were asked. I believe now this has been clamped down on so that id is only available with proof of birthday etc so no chance of faking it.

what do others do? Or is it out of reach for her?

OP posts:
Looneytune253 · 15/10/2021 17:15

My daughter is (just) 17 and goes out. She hasn't been asked for ID etc. If she looks old enough she might be ok

blodynmelyn · 15/10/2021 17:17

I'm 25 and I don't think I've ever not been asked for ID for a night club. Maybe once or twice I haven't when I've been out with work colleagues who are older, but certainly every time I've been out with friends my own age.

Looneytune253 · 15/10/2021 17:18

Uh oh just replied and read the comments. Probs about to be attacked like the OP but we all parent differently and for many reasons I'm happy with my parenting choices. We don't need to explain them to others

littlepeas · 15/10/2021 17:19

I think they began to clamp down on it quite a while ago and it has got harder and harder. I have been asked for ID more times as a person over the age of 18 than I ever was when I was actually underage! I used to get in everywhere from around 15 (probably did look a bit older), but started to get asked from around 21. I was even asked for ID on my hen night 15 years ago - I was 24 - and multiple times since then, although it finally seems to have stopped now I'm almost 40!

gogohm · 15/10/2021 17:23

It does seem a bit unfair on summer born kids - maybe we should have the system they have in Korea that privileges of adulthood come at the end of the school year rather than calendar age.

I'm summer born from a time when id wasn't scrutinised, but did miss it it on a few things like a post a level holiday because you had to be 18 and passports can't be faked (well you know what I mean)

TatianaBis · 15/10/2021 17:24

@Peanutsandchilli

Why the hell are you so keen for your underage child to be served alcohol in an adult orientated environment? They should raise the legal age imo. Kids and alcohol are never a good mix.
She's 17!

The point is to get into the club. she probably won't drink that much alcohol there as club prices are high.

She has access to alcohol anywhere - pub, club, off-licence, supermarket.

Comefromaway · 15/10/2021 17:26

The reason it is Think 25 is because there are many 17 year olds who could pass for 20 but not many who could pass for 25. So clubs etc ID anyone who looks under the age of 25 to protect themselves because they can be prosecuted if they break the terms of their licence by admitting someone underage or serving them alcohol.

goneredforwinter · 15/10/2021 17:28

She needs to do the lost provisional driving licence trick. She needs a friend or someone she knows with a licence who looks vaguely like her. Friend "loses" provisional and applies for replacement. Meantime your daughter uses the first licence and gives her mate the cash for the replacement. I'm told by youngsters that the door people scan ID to check it's not fake rather than scrutinising the photo.

Comefromaway · 15/10/2021 17:31

My daughter once had her genuine driving licence ID refused as the cashier at an off licence thought it looked fake! Which was awkward as she was auditing them at the time.

Another time she had a cashier who misunderstood Think 25 and thought dd had to actually be 25 to buy something rather than 18 which she was at the time.

Biancadelrioisback · 15/10/2021 17:31

Please take this the right way, but is she curvy?
I used to work in hospitality and often the girls, even when dressed up to the 9s who were straight up and down were id'd first if we thought they looked young.
A lot of it was confidence and maturity. Obviously you go by what they look like, and by what they order tbf.

Also, at her age, its of no surprised when people are turned away for either looking too young or being too drunk. As long as she has friends who won't leave her on her own if they all get in and she doesn't, let her go and try!

Some of my best nights out were when I was 17

littlepeas · 15/10/2021 17:31

My late August baby looks extremely like his older brother, so I guess I can expect him to try and borrow his ID when the time comes - I do wonder whether it is scrutinised to the point where the bouncers question why he is 21 when all his mates are 18 though Grin.

GoodForTheSoul · 15/10/2021 17:37

@gwenhwyfar yes, you're totally right. You were sensible therefore you were fine. All those women and girls who get sexually assaulted or spiked must not be as sensible as you were at 15....

What a ridiculous comment.

blametheparents · 15/10/2021 17:48

DS is June born. He spent most of year 13 borrowing ID from older friends!
I turned a blind eye, he did nothing that I didn't do when I was the same age!
It's a rite of passage and I am sure he and his mates had a laugh about it.

martingrowler · 15/10/2021 17:54

For all the "thems the rules" people... the nights out I had in clubs at 15, 16, 17 were a hell of a lot safer and more law abiding than the house parties and evenings in the park

RampantIvy · 15/10/2021 17:55

DD never went clubbing in 6th form either, as she turned 18 after she left school. She knew no-one who looked remotely like her to borrow fake ID either.

Echobelly · 15/10/2021 17:56

I think it us so variable venue to venue - some don't give a toss and others play by the rules.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 15/10/2021 17:59

@DeepaBeesKit

I don't think this is new. There have been pretty stringent ID checks for years. I'm 36 and we never went clubbing until 18, it was rare in sixth form. There were a couple of smaller bars with dance floors (with poor reputations) known for letting in underage drinkers, so some people went to places like that but even those would get busted from time to time.

Clubbing isnt an essential activity, she'll find plenty of other ways to socialise.

I was about to write something similar (apart from the fact that I'm a bit above 36!!) Why are you so keen for her to go clubbing? If she drinks it will be against the law, it's also against the rules of the clubs license.
If these really are her good school pals that she's know during yr7-yr13 then surely they'll still be doing plenty of things that include her. (and I say this as the mother of a year 13 and an August baby).
jb7445 · 15/10/2021 18:10

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Winniemac · 15/10/2021 18:11

OP:

I hate nightclubs/pubs and didn't want to go to them when I was 18 or any other age (I'm now 50) so it wasn't an issue for me. I have no interest in encouraging my children to go clubbing, and would rather they didn't.

My older DC are not interested in clubbing, drinking etc so it wasn't an issue for them either. However, my youngest - also a summer birthday, and the second youngest in her school year - is a massive clubber/pubber/general party type, and has been since she was 14/15. She turned 17 just before the start of Year 13. She has taken full advantage of the black market in provisional driving licences (not one to miss an opportunity, she has one which actually "proves" she's 21, so she can buy alcohol in supermarkets if challenged: the fact that she looks loads older than she is helps her here - I looked about 13 even when I was 18). Believe me, if a determined underage teenager wants to join their friends clubbing/drinking, they will find a way. I have been surprised by how easy she has found it, as I was relying on her lack of real proof of age to curb her partying inclinations. In fact, she's friendly with all the local bouncers.

schoolsoutforever · 15/10/2021 18:12

Yeah, I think this is a shame TBH. I loved going out as a 16-17 year old. I teach that age group and feel a bit sorry for them in that respect. They all go now when 18. Just going out to a place that sells alcohol doesn’t mean you are going to go abuse it. I suppose some do though…

Vates · 15/10/2021 18:13

I snuck into a club when I was 17. Was sexually assaulted, insulted by the bouncers and my Sister's boyfriend squeezed my hand around a glass bottle that it burst, sliced me and the wound stank and didn't heal up for a month. I personally hope they do ask for id!

Rivermonsters · 15/10/2021 18:33

I’m the same age as your DD (august born as well). She can wait till it’s legal, good things come to those who wait

CorianderAndCream · 15/10/2021 18:42

She will probably get into pubs but her mates will have to buy her drinks and sneak her them.

I don't get into clubs without my ID anymore and I'm 26.

CorianderAndCream · 15/10/2021 18:43

Unless her pals know clubs that are lax anyway

CorianderAndCream · 15/10/2021 18:47

If she's looking for fake ID, there's usually a way to get them through whispering sat school. Cost £50 for someone else's provisional in my day (2011) but siblings were the best bet.

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