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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

360 replies

Robinson89 · 14/10/2021 17:36

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night Hmm. I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

OP posts:
ZenNudist · 14/10/2021 23:58

I think £60 for an evening of sitting around watching Netflix is a piss take.

ThreeGoingCrazy · 15/10/2021 00:02

@ZenNudist

I think £60 for an evening of sitting around watching Netflix is a piss take.
She's babysitting from 5.30 so possibly finishing dinner, certainly getting them ready and settled for he'd depending on ages. Which is likely to be longer / harder as they know Mom is out and they're with a stranger. Even if they're in bed by 7.30, so 4 hours of "watching Netflix" you're paying for them to deal with waking up, vomit, nosebleeds, whatever. And you're paying someone to give up their night to sit in your house so you can go out.
LoveGrooveDanceParty · 15/10/2021 00:06

@ZenNudist

I think £60 for an evening of sitting around watching Netflix is a piss take.
It’s not how I’d want to spend my Saturday night - alone in someone else’s house, being responsible for their kids.

When I could be having fun with my own family / friends / 🍷.

But I suppose if it constitutes a good time to you, you probably would think it’s a piss-take. I don’t suppose you go out / need babysitters very often.

simitra · 15/10/2021 00:20

Good for you for setting your boundaries and costing your time at what you believe its worth. Its amazing the amount of CF people who think they can get you to do things for them for "mates rates" or even free.

I have always been into the "Here are my terms of trade" culture as I run a business. If anyone - even a neighbour - asks me to do something I will quote them a price or offer to. That usually ends the conversation sharpish.

Like the neighbour who saw me with a face covering made from vintage fabric and asked if I would make her one. Im sure she had no intention of paying but I told her "Well I hadnt thought of making these to sell but if I do Ill let you know and give you a price." She never mentioned it again.

"Let me think about it and Ill give you a price" is a very good conversation killer.

scatteredglitter · 15/10/2021 00:26

Of your sister is that worried about her friend maybe she could go and babysit for her for 8.50 / hour giving. Up here Saturday evening ...

skybluee · 15/10/2021 00:30

She was probably allowing time to get there and back. E.g. the new Bond film is 2 hrs 43 mins. That's the film run time, so add on for trailers/when you're meant to go in there, plus if it takes half an hour to get there, plus time to buy food and not be late it adds up.

Film - 2 hrs 43
Trailers - 15 min
Time to buy food and not be late/go to loo - extra 20 min
Travel - 1 hr

I can see how you'd need to pay for 5 hours not 4 hours.

CallMeNutribullet · 15/10/2021 00:45

For those raising an eyebrow at op charging £10 an hour for babysitting; go onto a childcare website, look at babysitting rates, that's what you pay.
Op is a former nanny and a grown woman, not some teenage family member who'll be happy with £20 and a takeaway.
Minimum wage is £8.90 ffs.

SleepingStandingUp · 15/10/2021 01:25

@skybluee

She was probably allowing time to get there and back. E.g. the new Bond film is 2 hrs 43 mins. That's the film run time, so add on for trailers/when you're meant to go in there, plus if it takes half an hour to get there, plus time to buy food and not be late it adds up.

Film - 2 hrs 43
Trailers - 15 min
Time to buy food and not be late/go to loo - extra 20 min
Travel - 1 hr

I can see how you'd need to pay for 5 hours not 4 hours.

Fair point. I was wondering how I could eek my cinema out to 5, hours but I don't want to see Bond 😂
groovergirl · 15/10/2021 01:26

Your rate is very fair, and possibly underpriced. I paid the equivalent in A$ back in 2014 to hire a childcare worker for babysitting.

Quality care by a qualified person is worth paying for!

FallHappy1 · 15/10/2021 01:31

OP would be responsible for those children for 6 hours. I think £10 an hour is more than fair.

Stigsmother · 15/10/2021 01:47

YANBU
You are providing a professional service and deserve to be paid accordingly.
I don't think I would be inclined to take the job now even if she agrees to paying the full rate, just in case she decides a bit of haggling in is order.
That really would make things awkward!

Justilou1 · 15/10/2021 02:03

I self-identify as a multi millionaire 23 year old supermodel, but my bank balance and mirror are just making things awkward…

madisonbridges · 15/10/2021 02:12

I think £60 for an evening mostly watching telly would be a lot. But honestly it doesn't matter what I think or what your sister thinks; it doesn't even matter if you're qualified or not; those are your rates and that should be the end of it. Clients can make their own mind up if they want to pay or go elsewhere. That's business.

SarahBellam · 15/10/2021 05:19

@Viviennemary

I think its quite a hefty charge for evening babysitting. But if that's your price that's it. Presumably its cash in hand or will you be declaring it as earned income.
Where do you live, Vivienne? 1974?

My babysitter was £7.50 an hour 15 years ago, plus a takeaway and a taxi home. £10 an hour is perfectly reasonable.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/10/2021 06:41

Ha! I reckon your sister has made a fool of herself by telling her friend that you would give her mates' rates, because she's your sister's friend - and now you won't because a) mates' rates suck completely and b) why the fuck would you since you don't know friend at all, and even if you did, why the fuck would you?

Now friend is peed off because she couldn't get cut-price babysitting, and your sis feels "let down" by you refusing to give mates' rates.

Problem of her own making. She shouldn't pimp out your services without knowing your rates.

daisypond · 15/10/2021 06:54

£10 an hour is cheap where I am. My teen gets a lot more than that.

NEE1302 · 15/10/2021 06:58

Yjuju h hi hii

onelittlefrog · 15/10/2021 07:02

The minimum wage for age 23 and over is £8.91 an hour.

She wants to pay you less than this, for being literally responsible for her children's lives? Hmm

Completely and utterly irrelevant that you'd be putting them to bed and then pottering around. She's paying you to be a responsible adult in the house.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 15/10/2021 07:07

@EineReiseDurchDieZeit

£8.50 for SIX HOURS thats not minimum wage!

£10 for 6 hours is also less than minimum wage.

Friend is CF, but you are selling yourself short!

It's £10 PER HOUR. Not for 6 hrs workSmile
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/10/2021 07:16

@NEE1302 - did the toddler or dog get hold of your phone? Grin

MarleneDietrichsSmile · 15/10/2021 07:16

Yanbu

Your sister saying it would be no trouble for you, and even fun: great, she can do it then 👍

Howshouldibehave · 15/10/2021 07:26

@ZenNudist

I think £60 for an evening of sitting around watching Netflix is a piss take.
If you’re happy to do it for people you’ve never met at no charge, I’d start advertising if I were you.

I think some posters think the OP is a teenager desperate for experience with children?!

Have you spoken to your sister again about it, @Robinson89? She’s the one making things awkward!

FinallyFluid · 15/10/2021 07:53

The audacity of your sister. Shock

Warmduscher · 15/10/2021 08:13

Your sister probably told her you’d do it for “mates rates”.

I’m surprised she didn’t shop around for a babysitter who charges £8.50 an hour and use them instead, since she believes that’s a reasonable going rate.

ChaToilLeam · 15/10/2021 08:20

Your sister probably offered you up for free or vvv cheap and has now been caught on the hop. Well, that’s her problem. £10 per hour to give up your weekend evening is absolutely reasonable.