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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

360 replies

Robinson89 · 14/10/2021 17:36

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night Hmm. I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

OP posts:
LoveGrooveDanceParty · 14/10/2021 19:24

@Viviennemary

I think its quite a hefty charge for evening babysitting. But if that's your price that's it. Presumably its cash in hand or will you be declaring it as earned income.
There are not enough 🙄🙄 in the world for this comment.

OP you are not being unreasonable, at all.

Absolutely love the fact that your sister, quite noticeably, isn’t rush to give up her Saturday night for £8.50 p/h…

silverbubbles · 14/10/2021 19:25

Ignore them both. Your rate is your rate.

Tell your sister not to recommend your services to her cheap skate mates as its embarrassing for them to offer teenagers babysitting rates to a qualified nanny.

Sally872 · 14/10/2021 19:26

Having a qualified babysitter who is available and easier to trust as sister of s friend is fantastic. She could have spent a little less on night out or come home an hour early to keep on budget. If really struggling and special occasion surely your sister would have babysat for your friend for free if that bothered. Yanbu

dworky · 14/10/2021 19:29

It will always amaze me that people openly claim that taking care of children should be paid at a lower rate than any other casual work.

peachgreen · 14/10/2021 19:31

I live in a very cheap part of the country and I still pay £10 for babysitting! YANBU at all OP.

the80sweregreat · 14/10/2021 19:36

Your not the one being unreasonable here!
Another cheeky fucker eh?
Wanting to save a few pounds ..
tell her to jog on!

Pontypandytaxpayer · 14/10/2021 19:37

That sounds like a bargain for an adult with your experience. My friend's nanny charges £16ph.

To everyone saying £60 for a night out is too much, yes, it might be but then you either stay in, get someone else to babysit for free or go out for a shorter evening.

Rainbowsew · 14/10/2021 19:38

Yanbu! You sister shouldn't have even got
involved!

Dagnabit · 14/10/2021 19:38

YANBU - we pay our babysitter (young adult) who has no qualifications, £10 an hour because we trust her and the dc like her. She spent 4 hours on Monday, watching Netflix and doing cross stitch after the children went to bed. My dc are 12 and nearly 10 so fairly independent but would rather pay someone a decent fee for a good service.

Witchinthedales · 14/10/2021 19:39

You're not being unreasonable, this is your free time you are giving up.

TubeOfSmarties · 14/10/2021 19:41

Your sister is being unreasonable. The friend had the option to take your services or leave them.

TravelLost · 14/10/2021 19:43

I thought £10 was cheap for someone who is experienced like this.
£10 is what I would pay a teenager.

lottiegarbanzo · 14/10/2021 19:45

If your sister's so bothered, she could have paid you the difference.

Literally won't put her money where her mouth is!

Standrewsschool · 14/10/2021 19:46

Definitely cf. it’s not even someone you know!

WheresTheHedge · 14/10/2021 19:48

YANBU

NewlyGranny · 14/10/2021 19:49

I think the only work that is as routinely undervalued as childcare - or more so - is sewing, as in : "Oh, you make your own clothes? You have a sewing machine? Great, let me dump this big bag of unwashed jeans gone at the crotch for you to repair. I won't be paying as you enjoy your hobby so much!"

starfishmummy · 14/10/2021 19:51

@aloris

I've done it, and watching tv in someone else's house is no fun. They tell you to drink whatever's in their refrigerator but all they have is kombucha. Half the time you can't figure out how to get the tv to play sound in their expensive sound system, so you have to watch it on mute; or the child wakes up anxious halfway through because they aren't used to having a babysitter. At the end of it, you've lost your whole Saturday night which is the night most of us relax on a weekend.
And that's not to mention the parent(s) getting back late...
Nayday · 14/10/2021 19:53

You're definitely NBU - amazing really how little she values a a trusted, experienced professional, I'd much rather pay this amount than a 15 year old (for probably not that much less).
I'd probably just say the same to your sister 'yes I understand but my rate is..' maybe they'll both start to get the message!

godmum56 · 14/10/2021 19:54

We had an allied thread to this today about people asking to buy goods or services and saying "no silly prices" or asking for a reduction with a sob story. When did people start to think that what they could afford bore any relation to what something costs?

StrangeLookingParasite · 14/10/2021 19:55

There is always one..

And it's often that one, Bluntness100.

Hill1991 · 14/10/2021 19:57

You are definitely nbu I used to charge £40 as a teenager for roughly the same amount off time 15years ago so as an actual adult who is trained I think £10p/h is really reasonable

StrangeLookingParasite · 14/10/2021 19:57

@NewlyGranny

I think the only work that is as routinely undervalued as childcare - or more so - is sewing, as in : "Oh, you make your own clothes? You have a sewing machine? Great, let me dump this big bag of unwashed jeans gone at the crotch for you to repair. I won't be paying as you enjoy your hobby so much!"
Oh yuck, they could at least make sure they're clean. And repairing gone in the upper thigh/crotch area jeans is a fiddly pain in the bum.
TurquoiseDragon · 14/10/2021 20:01

The fact that the sister is going on about it being awkward tells me she probably "sold" OP's services as very cheap, or even free. Good on OP for sticking to her boundaries.

IHateCoronavirus · 14/10/2021 20:04

Grin dying at “chinny!” Grin

YANBU op, CFs the pair of them!

Cameleongirl · 14/10/2021 20:08

@dworky

It will always amaze me that people openly claim that taking care of children should be paid at a lower rate than any other casual work.
I know, @dworky. Our children are the most precious people in the world to us so why wouldn’t we want to pay a decent amount to a babysitter?!