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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My sister has said I've made things awkward but I disagree

360 replies

Robinson89 · 14/10/2021 17:36

I worked in child care for over 10 years, mainly as a nanny, and although I've changed professions completely now, I still occasionally babysit for some families during evenings and weekends. My rate is £10ph and has been for the last few years.

Last week my sisters friend (I don't know her personally) asked if I'd be interested in babysitting her children occasionally. I said yes and told her to pass my number on and let her know to ring me if she had any questions. Yesterday I received a text from the friend asking if I could babysit this upcoming weekend as she wanted to go on a night out for her friends birthday. It would be for around 6 hours until 11:30pm. I told her no problem, asked for her address and explained that my rate was £10. She replied shortly after explaining that she was looking to pay around £8.50 as that is all she could afford. I sent a polite text back to say I understood her position, but unfortunately my rate was £10 and it is what I charge all my families. I said if she changed her mind then to let me know and I'd happily babysit for her.

I never heard anything about it again until my sister phoned me this morning to say that her friend was really disappointed that she couldn't go on her night out and why would I expect £10 for basically putting the kids to bed and sitting on the sofa watching tv all night . I have no idea why my sister is even entertaining this, and frankly I'm a bit hurt. It has nothing to do with the fact that I'd be sat watching the tv whilst the kids are in bed. It's the fact that I'm giving up my weekend (I work full time myself) to babysit her children and not being able to spend time in my own home with my own family. I'm not desperate for the money so my down time is really important to me. I'm also a qualified trained professional who knows what to do in the event of an emergency. AIBU?

OP posts:

Polkadots2021 · 14/10/2021 18:12

@Robinson89

You were totally in the right! Don't apologise for boundaries and having respect for what you're worth.

Jammysod · 14/10/2021 18:13

YANBU. Besides, who's to say you'll just be sat down all night...the kids might be up & down the entire time.
Your sister shouldn't be expecting mates rates for her mates!

JapanJetplane · 14/10/2021 18:14

Yanbu. She was being a bit cheeky and it’s certainly nothing to do with your sister.

Suzi888 · 14/10/2021 18:15

YANBU whether it’s £10 for the whole shift or a tenner an hour, it’s your call.

PatchworkElmer · 14/10/2021 18:17

YANBU!

Sparklfairy · 14/10/2021 18:17

She can afford the night out though...

Viviennemary · 14/10/2021 18:17

I think its quite a hefty charge for evening babysitting. But if that's your price that's it. Presumably its cash in hand or will you be declaring it as earned income.

RedMarauder · 14/10/2021 18:18

YANBU

Show your sister this thread.

If her friend wanted to pay that little she needs to find someone under 23.

If her friend wanted free babysitting then she needs to use another parent who would then do a swap with her.

PurpleFlower1983 · 14/10/2021 18:18

So she forfeited a night out for £9? One glass of wine/cocktail depending on where you are in the country. Madness!

Bluntness100 · 14/10/2021 18:18

Yeah I’m not buying this at all. So she can afford to use you occasionally she can afford 51 quid on a baby sitter. She can afford a night out with her mates, but an extra nine quid on the baby sitter means she can’t go?

If all she has left is nine quid for her night out, and is that skint then she likely shouldn’t be going in the first place and can’t afford to use you occasionally.

Don’t let them bully you. Stick to your guns. They are being horrible.

Bluntness100 · 14/10/2021 18:19

@Viviennemary

I think its quite a hefty charge for evening babysitting. But if that's your price that's it. Presumably its cash in hand or will you be declaring it as earned income.

There is always one..

FourTeaFallOut · 14/10/2021 18:19

Tell your sister, if it's a problem, that she's free to sub her friend the excess next time. How cheeky of the pair of them.

Holskey · 14/10/2021 18:19

£10 p/h with your experience... Will you babysit for me!

Your sister is a CF and disrespectful. Send her a link to the thread!

AlfonsoTheDinosaur · 14/10/2021 18:23

You were right to set your fees and to stick to them, OP.

Fimofriend · 14/10/2021 18:26

So you like to take advantage of other people, @Viviennemary ? £10 is a bargain! Something you'd expect to pay a teenager that was related to you. Not a professional adult.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/10/2021 18:28

Why didn't your sister babysit for for free in that case...?

glitterelf · 14/10/2021 18:29

@Viviennemary

I think its quite a hefty charge for evening babysitting. But if that's your price that's it. Presumably its cash in hand or will you be declaring it as earned income.

So how much would you charge then ? I'm a childminder and I'd be charging the same amount as the Op after 6pm. All money I receive goes through my books whether paid in cash or transferred and I'm sure the Op does exactly the same as she too is a professional. We're not talking young teens trying to make a bit of pocket money

ThreeGoingCrazy · 14/10/2021 18:29

So she didn't go because of the difference of £9?

So she could have gone an hour later / come back an hour earlier / got a bus instead of a taxi / had two or three cheaper drinks / a cheaper meal etc

But no, it's your fault for not being the price she'd like

ThreeGoingCrazy · 14/10/2021 18:30

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy

Why didn't your sister babysit for for free in that case...?

Or even just for one hour? She could afford 5 hours babysitting

flippertyop · 14/10/2021 18:31

Wow that's unbelievable! YANBU

Cuddlemuffin · 14/10/2021 18:32

You are not being unreasonable at all. If your sister wants to take £8.50 per hour to babysit then she should do it for her mate. Well done for sticking to your professional and personal boundaries. Your sister needs to get off her high horse and atop trying to guilt trip you! X

NewlyGranny · 14/10/2021 18:32

I expect your DS was generously offering your services to her friend at mates' rates and has felt embarrassed. But that's her problem, not yours!

Women are forever being expected to work for peanuts/love/kindness. Remember, the labourer is worthy of her hire.

user1493494961 · 14/10/2021 18:33

£60 wow, (sorry, there's two).

SnoopyLights · 14/10/2021 18:35

@someofusdontknowwhy

She was quibbling over £9? If her budget is that tight that £9 is the difference between a night out or not then I think she needs to look at her priorities

I was going to say exactly this, she's spoilt her own night out and your sister has made things awkward over £9.00.

YANBU.

MrsColon · 14/10/2021 18:38

Blimey, that's an odd hill to die on - £9 in that context is bizarre.

I do think £10 is crazy cheap, we pay our babysitter that and she's 16 with no formal childcare experience/qualifications (she is fab regardless).

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