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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being precious or would this not bother you?

283 replies

Pinkpanther6878 · 12/10/2021 23:45

In large DIY department store today,needed to use loo, and which are located through a door in corner of store that then opens into corridor (about say 7/8 meters long) with female and male toilet doors separately going off this corridor, and disabled toilet at end of corridor. Except now the separate male and female toilets (usually for customer use) are locked and only for staff use, not sure why but anyway signs saying to use disabled toilet, of which there is only one, so therefore unisex. I proceed down corridor, the disabled toilet door of which is wide open (and wide open into corridor, it's a pull door to get in not push). I become aware of sound of someone urinating,so I stop well before door,and shortly after a middle aged man walks out,still messing with his fly. I give him slightly unapproving look but he just carries on past me in corridor looking totally vacant. To add he also didnt bother flushing the toilet, so I was greeted by toilet full of dark slightly frothy urine,nor did he put seat down,but I probably am being picky on that latter point.
Anyway more I think about it the more I am feeling bit disturbed,even violated by the whole thing. Like this man didnt care about closing let alone locking the door, so anyone could have walked in on him plus the lack of respect not flushing afterwards, just seems really gross and off. Also as a single 30 something female am feeling especially conscious at moment of needing safe space etc, and be nice if men were conscious of this too, not actively making no effort. Just to add, this man was a member of the public/customer, not a staff member.
Yes YABU - thinking too much into it,get over it.
No YANBU - it is concerning

OP posts:
AmanitaRubescens · 15/10/2021 16:51

How the fuck does one man using a unisex toilet constitute a loss of women's rights?

That's not what Franca is saying and you know it.

Anonymous48 · 15/10/2021 20:35

@CounsellorTroi

How do women feel about men cleaning female toilets? Is that ok?
Yes. I would assume they're not peeing in there (and therefore their penis remains in their trousers).
Anonymous48 · 15/10/2021 20:40

@TrishM80

There's a lot of very fucking fragile people on this thread.
And there are some very fucking obnoxious people on this thread. Angry

Not wanting to walk into a toilet that I assume is unoccupied because the door is open, but then finding that there is in fact a man in there, penis in hand, urinating, does not make me "fragile".

GrolliffetheDragon · 16/10/2021 15:39

@girlmom21

Only time I went in a toilet with a male cleaner, it had a sign on the door telling me he was in there, and he asked me to leave and wait for him to finish cleaning. So he was obviously as uncomfortable as I was, but presumably not desperate for the loo.

Or he was protecting himself as there's always a chance of him being accused of something simply because he's male.

Ah yes. All those terrible women everywhere making false accusations.
2Two · 16/10/2021 22:59

That's not what Franca is saying and you know it.

No, I don't. If she doesn't mean what she writes I'm not sure how I'm meant to work that out.

MrsSkylerWhite · 16/10/2021 23:01

CounsellorTroi
How do women feel about men cleaning female toilets? Is that ok?“

I’m very grateful to anyone who is prepared to clean public toilets, whatever their sex.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 17/10/2021 00:22

@2Two

That's not what Franca is saying and you know it.

No, I don't. If she doesn't mean what she writes I'm not sure how I'm meant to work that out.

Where did she write that?
sbhydrogen · 17/10/2021 00:26

Frothy urine... Eurgh.

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