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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shit. I think I have a zoom meeting with my childhood bully.

608 replies

TheRealAnnabelleBronstein · 12/10/2021 13:21

I’m not in the UK so hope this won’t be outing. Have changed details for privacy.

Imagine my name is Eleanor Smyth but I changed my name when I married and am now Eleanor Johnson. Imagine also that I’m the Head of Finance for a huge organization.

A company who sells financial services software has been contacting me for quite a while now asking for me to meet with them for a product demonstration. We’re now in a position where we’re going to stop using our existing product so doing demos with several organizations. The successful company will also be given a piece of work to prepare our related systems for integration and testing and training so there’s a project element as well as a product. The budget for the project is roughly $15m and then the product will be roughly $2m/year so it’s a big piece of work.

The Relationship Manager let me know that the call would be led by one of their sales people who he referred to as (name changed), Edwina Craig. All good and a zoom meeting was arranged.

I’ve just looked at the Zoom invite and can see that Edwina Craig is actually on there as Edwina Craig-Dyson.

Edwina Dyson was the school bully. Thoroughly unpleasant person who made my time at second level very difficult. She was so insidious. She wouldn’t physically bully but it was constant picking and awful comments. When I was in school, a classmate killed herself. I remember one day Edwina and some of her gang surrounded me after school and she basically told me that nobody liked me and everyone was upset that the other girl died and not me. Awful stuff to try and get your head around at 15. It was constant and draining snd, in hindsight, I’m just glad it all happened before social media and mobile phones so at least I could go home and get a break from it.

I finished school, moved to a city 400 miles away and haven’t thought of her since.

I googled Edwina Craig to see her LinkedIn profile picture and found one, but I can’t make out if it’s her or not- I haven’t seen her in over 20 years. I think it is. The location also makes sense.

So, if you were me and it is her, how would you play it? Ultimately, if they have the best product for the best price, we’ll go with them, but I don’t want it to be a walk in the park for her if she really is who I think she is.

I don’t think she’ll know I’m me, if you get me. My name isn’t uncommon and I’m based on a different city than where we grew up so I don’t think she’d make the link.

OP posts:
whitehorsesdonotlie · 20/10/2021 07:20

Thanks for the update, op. Sounds like you handled it well.

And no, am pretty sure you don't need counselling...

Penistoe · 20/10/2021 07:33

Isn’t this a dream scenario? Your bully is trying to sell to you, big wig manager. Make her squirm. I swear iv had this fantasy so many times with my bully.

RantyAunty · 20/10/2021 07:43

I really enjoyed how you handled her.
So to the point and professional.

Lostmarbles2021 · 20/10/2021 07:53

DadDadDad

I did. Hence the content of my post lightheartedly inviting bets on how many new pieces of advice would come along when the OP has dealt with it. See the last few posts. Confused

Lostmarbles2021 · 20/10/2021 07:57

That’s 1.

4 more and I win the bet. Any other bets?

NB. Lighthearted.

DadDadDad · 20/10/2021 10:05

LostMarbles2021 - I get that. But I was
quoting your parenthetical comment which implies that on other threads you might have previously been guilty of the same behaviour, so I was questioning that.

But it's no big deal. It's one of the entertaining features of MN threads seeing someone come along with what they must think is a useful comment even when the thread is days old and the issues already thrashed out. Grin

jakkijax · 21/10/2021 14:59

I said I don't understand it. You say I do ? I really don't.

DeborahAnnabel · 23/10/2021 23:37

As someone who knows a thing or two about software. I'd love to know what vendor it is. Latency is my biggest bugbear and as for laggy GUIs!

(oh and well played OP, love your work)

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