to hate having to decide what the bin eats every day

[3kidsinsane]

I have 3 kids and it drives me nuts having to come up with things to eat that suit everyone for dinner every night. Guaranteed somebody doesn't like it. I feel that the bin is the best fed in our house. DD2 has texture, colour and shape issues with food (if they are "wrong" then it's in the bin) If I get it wrong once then that's the food off the safe list because she doesn't trust it anymore. The other 2 aren't too bad but have phases. I can't remember the last time we had something like a roast dinner where everyone was happy

You could try the old fashioned technique of 'that's your dinner, and that's it'. If they don't eat it then they go to bed hungry.

Would it help if they were given responsibilities to help with food prep? If they are proud of what they helped to make it might encourage them to eat better?

If you could post what texture colour and shape issues that your DD2 has maybe posters could come up with meal ideas for you? One of my (now adult) children had awful issues with the textures of some food when they were younger and mealtimes were a nightmare.

DD2 didn't eat dinner for 6 days. She would literally starve rather than eat non-approved food.

They already help make dinner. 1 night a week (alternative weeks) they have to decide the menu and tell me the ingredients.

@BloomingTrees

You could try the old fashioned technique of 'that's your dinner, and that's it'. If they don't eat it then they go to bed hungry.

But this depends on how much of a food issue a child has. Some children will put up with hunger to avoid certain foods.

I have always been a fussy eater, I have issues with texture and have been known to vomit if a food is "wrong". When I was a child my mum decided that a steak & kidney pie was the hill she wished to die on and tried the technique you mentioned. It lasted 3 days... Every breakfast, lunch and dinner she served it, thinking I'd give up and be so hungry I'd eat it eventually. I didn't, she gave up after 3 days of upset. If I'm honest this is one of my massive overriding memories of my mum... Not the days out she took me on, the Christmas and birthday presents she bought, not the nice things she did for me... This is one of the biggest memories I have and it's not positive. Think about whether that's what you want in your relationship with your child.

@CottageOnTheHill

If you could post what texture colour and shape issues that your DD2 has maybe posters could come up with meal ideas for you? One of my (now adult) children had awful issues with the textures of some food when they were younger and mealtimes were a nightmare.

Chicken nuggets need to have the tail and be the yellowy colour Pizza has to have the correct ratio of sauce, cheese and occasionally pepperoni (it also has to be built by her so she knows it's ok) Spaghetti bolognese needs to be dolmio sauce, 5% mince and spaghetti (no other pasta is acceptable). Lasagne is only ok if it's a perfect square. Mince and potatoes need to be the right consistency Chicken burgers need to be on a brioche roll and the cheese needs to be the right shade of orange.

Thats an insight into my hell

What will they eat? I don't really make my dc anything too fancy or elaborate. I choose a protein, a carb and a couple of veg. So for example, tonight was griddled chicken breasts, cous cous and some broccoli and peas. Anything too recipe-ish doesn't get eaten. I remember making a chicken casserole that they turned their nose up.. however, the main components of chicken thighs, potato and carrots were all happily eaten when cooked separately. I suppose it's deconstructed!

Fuck me, OP, that sounds like a total nightmare

Chicken nuggets need to have the tail and be the yellowy colour
Pizza has to have the correct ratio of sauce, cheese and occasionally pepperoni (it also has to be built by her so she knows it's ok)
Spaghetti bolognese needs to be dolmio sauce, 5% mince and spaghetti (no other pasta is acceptable)
Lasagne is only ok if it's a perfect square
Mince and potatoes need to be the right consistency
Chicken burgers need to be on a brioche roll and the cheese needs to be the right shade of orange

OK, you haven't said whether your child has SN.

Does she? If not, then that takes the piss.

She didn't eat dinner for 6 days or she didn't eat a single morsel of food for 6 days?

How old are the kids?
Wondering if you could just use a really boring repetitive menu, give multi vitamins as well and meanwhile educate them on nutrition and health in a positive take control of your own body kind of way. Hopefully if they see why it matters they might agree to a gradual programme of expanding menu options cautiously. Obviously that only works if they are old and science minded enough to appreciate the information.
Seems like it's more than fussy though, more like food issues, so maybe specialist help?

@Comedycook

What will they eat? I don't really make my dc anything too fancy or elaborate. I choose a protein, a carb and a couple of veg. So for example, tonight was griddled chicken breasts, cous cous and some broccoli and peas. Anything too recipe-ish doesn't get eaten. I remember making a chicken casserole that they turned their nose up.. however, the main components of chicken thighs, potato and carrots were all happily eaten when cooked separately. I suppose it's deconstructed!

Tonight was tortilla pockets. DD1 had everything DD2 had the pocket with salad DS1 had just the mince on a plate Lots of leftovers that will probably end up in the bin

Worry following kids eat in colour on Instagram, she’s American but I found her advice really helpful

No offence op but that food all sounds a bit beige and samey. I would try experimenting with lots of different textures and flavours. Try adding toppings that are safe and always offering something plain and easy like toast alongside (plain or buttered). Then just be OK with the kids only eating toast for a few nights. Does your fussiest child have a diagnosis?

This is a good article written by a young girl with sensory aversion to food. Sounds like you daughter might be similar with foods being wrong

autismawareness.com/the-reason-i-dont-like-to-eat/

*I found not worry!

That sounds awful!

I’m sick of it too, on a lesser scale. I’m trying to lose weight myself, but cook things like macaroni cheese and lasagna, then more than half the time my 4 yo won’t eat it anyway.

Your DD2’s issues sound extreme. No advice except 💐

@WorraLiberty

Chicken nuggets need to have the tail and be the yellowy colour Pizza has to have the correct ratio of sauce, cheese and occasionally pepperoni (it also has to be built by her so she knows it's ok) Spaghetti bolognese needs to be dolmio sauce, 5% mince and spaghetti (no other pasta is acceptable) Lasagne is only ok if it's a perfect square Mince and potatoes need to be the right consistency Chicken burgers need to be on a brioche roll and the cheese needs to be the right shade of orange

OK, you haven't said whether your child has SN.

Does she? If not, then that takes the piss.

She didn't eat dinner for 6 days or she didn't eat a single morsel of food for 6 days?

I think she does, we have been waiting for a referral for 3 years since she was last seen. She didn't eat dinner, still had breakfast lunch and bedtime snack (no other snacks though)

DD2 is 11

Same in here. No one is ever happy and the middle child, well he just doesn't like any food apparently. No pasta, rice, potatoes, sald, veg, meat, there is literally not a dinner he will eat.

I really feel for you op. That's so tough. I was a wildly fussy eater who would rather starve than eat the wrong food so I do get the sheer force of will of your DD2. Sounds to me like you are doing an amazing job and I absolutely applaud you.

Are there any other issues with DD2's development or just food issues?

Either way, it's probably best to just stick to one specific safe food until you can get to a better understanding of where the issues have originated and how to address them.

I have found with my own DD that once the pressure is off (e.g. in her case there will always be plain, white fusilli pasta) that she's more able to think about trying something new and has really expanded her diet over the last few years. It's still limited, but so much better than it was.

My friend’s son ate only cracottes and green apples for months. He went to Cambridge.

I’m sorry but eat it or starve in our house.

You have my sympathy OP - I have a similarly fussy daughter, though most chicken nuggets are OK (but neither bolognaise nor lasagne will pass her lips).

To those asking about SN, surely a child who would rather be hungry to to the point of losing weight than eat is a special need, pretty much definitionally.

We don't all eat the same thing - I refuse to limit myself to what DD will eat. That means she gets more processed food than is ideal (did anyone mention nuggets?), but at least she eats....

@Perfect28

No offence op but that food all sounds a bit beige and samey. I would try experimenting with lots of different textures and flavours. Try adding toppings that are safe and always offering something plain and easy like toast alongside (plain or buttered). Then just be OK with the kids only eating toast for a few nights. Does your fussiest child have a diagnosis?

Its shit. I tried making my own chicken nuggets but that messed up chicken nuggets for about a year. I cant experiment. She doesn't like toast. No diagnosis yet but we have been waiting to be seen for years

Food was put on the table in separate bowls I'm my house.
You could take what you liked out of the options,a bit of everything or just one item, it was fine. The only rule is/was that if you put it on your plate then you eat it

Will they eat cereal? If so I would just serve cereal to them at every meal and make myself something I like to eat.
Eventually they will tire and eat properly. Too much fussing over children nowadays.
Eat it or leave it always worked years ago. Not enough food to be fussy with back in the day.