AIBU to think that leaving a just 16 year old…

[justpoppy]

… alone from after school until gone midnight, three times in a week is too much?

Totally depends on the 16 year old!

Depends on the 16 year old, and how they feel about it too

I think it depends - but I wouldn’t do it. I think a lot of 16 year olds just need us around - to just be there for support and what’s going on in their lives.

Depends on the 16yo, and the reason.

Our eldest was living independently at 16.

What’s the 16 year old like?

My nearly 17 year old keeps telling me hopefully that his friends’ parents go away for the weekend leaving them at home. I’d say it’s fine as long as the teen is fine with it.

As others said. Depends on the 16 year old

Depends on the circumstamces and the 16 year old.
I was living on my own at 16.

Well what are the circs? Parents off to Bingo 3pm til midnight Tues Wed Thurs/shift work means 3 lates.

I think it really, really depends on the circumstances. I wouldn't choose to do it and think my 16 yo needs me around, but if I had to work shifts to keep a roof over our heads then, ya know. It's not social services wrong, but it's not ideal either.

That said, some of my friends' teens are complete hermits and probably wouldn't notice. Mine would though.

Seems fine presuming the 16 year old is sensible

Entirely depends on the child and the circumstances. If it’s because you’re a shift worker, that’s one thing. If it’s because you’re in the pub, that’s another. What does the teenager think?

At 16 y parents went to work in America for 3 weeks. Aside from behavioural issues or ASN I'd imagine it would be absolutely fine. You can be married with your own dc at 16!

I'm assuming this is due to parent working shifts, in which case YABU. It may not be ideal, but it isn't every night and as long as they are getting support the other days it should be ok.

Because the responsible adult is on a night out or because they are at work earning money to feed and house the 16year old?
Is the 16 year old responsible or likely to take the piss? Does the 16 year old have any additional mental or physical health needs?
Is there going to be a drip feed and they are expected to look after a small sibling those 3x a week.
It can be fine, it can be completely not fine depending on a lot of things.

Depends on this child, whether they mind being left and how sensibly they use their "free evenings" - but also the reason for being left (eg a single parent on shift at the local hospital until midnight is a bit different to mum and dad both hitting the pub together three times a week).

Why would that be an issue? Presumably there is a reason for it.

One of mine babysat twice a week until that time so would have been fine alone.

Does the 16yo have an issue with it?

I think it’s ok ….although I’d prefer to be around for at least some of the evening tbh. Nothing inherently wrong with it though.

And I'm not sure the reason the adult is out actually makes much of a difference. If you're out you're out - makes no difference to the person still at home on a supervision basis.

It's fine.

I have one of these - she'd be fine with it.

I've no idea if next teen would be when they get to the same age.

The care system would let them live independently.

I wouldn't like doing it because in an ideal world I think parents would be available to teens more, but if needs must, I'd expect them to be safe and capable of seeing to themselves.

My mum and dad used to leave me for a week at home while they went on holiday. To be fair to them I refused to go, they were only ever a couple of hours away and I was supposed to have a friend stay with me every night.

I lived alone at 16

This is totally fine

I lived on my own at 16 🤷🏻‍♀️