AIBU to think that leaving a just 16 year old…

[justpoppy]

… alone from after school until gone midnight, three times in a week is too much?

My DS would be fine although I'd have to have prepped a yummy dinner for him or left him money for the chicken shop/pizza/whatever.
Really depends on the child but I wouldn't have an issue with it.

16 year old is a bit of a hermit - chatting to his friends online or doing homework. Probably doesn’t notice if we’re there or not! Won’t feed themselves properly though as they’re lazy but no other siblings in the house - just pets to feed and keep an eye on. Parent and partner out at gigs not working. If something happened it would take over an hour to get back although grandparents are fairly nearby. So as not to drip feed and be secretive 16 year old is my only child and my partner has arranged for us to be out in London 3 times this week and more in the next few weeks. I think it’s too much and I should be at home with him more.

@Frenchfancy

I'm assuming this is due to parent working shifts, in which case YABU. It may not be ideal, but it isn't every night and as long as they are getting support the other days it should be ok.

Oh gawd now I fancy a Mr Kipling.

YABU. I babysat alone overnight at that age regularly, both for my own younger siblings and parents' friends' children. Staying by myself wouldn't have been an issue at all, and nor would cooking dinner - it's easy to learn a few simple things if they don't already know how.

Unless there's something you aren't saying (16 year old has relevant SEN / 16 year old has form for very irresponsible behaviour when left alone in the evening) then I see no problem with this at all.

I think it's absolutely fine, assuming no back story about them being a pyromaniac. I was left alone for a few days at a time at 15/16 very occasionally during term time when my mum went on holiday. I had my gran over the road (literally – she could see into our house) and I could have stayed with her, but I preferred to stay home with all my stuff. I did often go there for dinner though

I'd think with mobile phones and all that jazz it's even better now.

You could always leave a meal of you're worried although im a big believer of the idea that nutrition counts over a week rather than a couple of days and it won't do any harm for home to snack. Tired just thinking of your social schedule though. Cannot even imagine 3 gigs in a month let alone a week 😆

@liveforsummer

You could always leave a meal of you're worried although im a big believer of the idea that nutrition counts over a week rather than a couple of days and it won't do any harm for home to snack. Tired just thinking of your social schedule though. Cannot even imagine 3 gigs in a month let alone a week 😆

16 year old is far more sensible than I ever was at that age. I was out shagging his dad at 16 and drinking in pubs and clubs!!!

@liveforsummer the social schedule is one of the reasons I’m asking. I’m not sure I can handle it and looking for a potential good excuse

I wasn't even living at home at 16. And I wasn't very mature either. I'm still here!

At 16 he should be able to be left alone. But your child you know him. When are you going to let him be in the house on his own 23, 47??

I lived abroad and on my own at 16. I was perfectly fine.

My 16yo sibling would sometimes struggle to make it over to the next town on time, on their own.

Depends on each child.

Lots of my friends left home at 16!

It's totally fine. You could leave dinner to heat up if you want to but at that age when my mum was away overnight etc I just lived on toast with peanut butter and cups of tea with digestives

If he can be left alone for one night then he can be left alone for 3 unless he has some kind of terrible sadness about it

Well this happened to me
However my mum was in hospital in Birmingham and my sister was in another hospital for months on end. Dad was frazzled trying to see them, keep the house going and keep his job.

I lived with just my dad and he worked away in Canada/Saudi Arabia and Australia for weeks at a time when I was 16!

Mine wouldn’t like it.

For occasional social events it's ok, but every week I think it is a bit much. Ok for work if needed but not for having fun and leaving teen as a hermit. Can he not come to the gigs?

I sense the opinion is I’m being all PFB about it still 16 years on

@Frenchfancy

For occasional social events it's ok, but every week I think it is a bit much. Ok for work if needed but not for having fun and leaving teen as a hermit. Can he not come to the gigs?

I’d love him to come but he’s not that interested and he’d say it’s too much of a late night when he’s got school! Not sure where I got him from as he’s far more sensible than me!

@liveforsummer the social schedule is one of the reasons I’m asking. I’m not sure I can handle it and looking for a potential good excuse

So yes, from the information you've given it sounds like he'll be absolutely fine however it's also a convenient excuse so just go with what you actually want to do 😆

Mine has stayed alone while I worked nights from 15 (his choice, didn't want to go to his dad's house). He is quite happy alone and is more independent and self sufficient because of it.
Now he is 16, I have also left him alone overnight for 2 nights whilst myself and my younger children visited a relative (he didn't want to come).

I also lived alone at 16.

I regularly babysat two kids when I was 16. I can’t believe how much kids are infantalised these days.

He’s 16, he’ll probably enjoy the peace. He’s old enough technically to have a child of his own!

My generation were babysitting by 14, so I can't see any problem

It's fine. I was living away at agricultural college at 16, we had an 11pm curfew and were expected to do stuff like our own washing, bed changing etc. Catered food though and we had to share a room until 18