AIBU to think that leaving a just 16 year old…

[justpoppy]

… alone from after school until gone midnight, three times in a week is too much?

@Anotherhill

I think I this thread has attracted all those who lived alone at 16. Personally I never knew anyone who lived alone at 16, so the answers maybe skewed. My teens wouldn’t sleep until I was home, so that would’ve a lot of late nights on school nights.

Tbf your teens sound like unusual ones, they sound pretty anxious if they can’t sleep unless you’re home.

I left mine at that age, they were sensible. That said I didn't have such an active social life!

I was taken into hospital and my 13 year old refused to go to my friends. She wanted to stay home. The school knew and neighbours were obviously available. She was home alone for 3 nights. It would have been more stressful for her to be forced to go somewhere else

My 17 year old, probably not. My 13 year old, probably fine.

Everyone is different and I think a parent is usually capable of making that judgement call.

We left our DS16 on their own whilst we went on holiday for a week. I started work at 15 and lived on my own at 16.

Absolutely fine, they are almost an adult.

At sixteen I was waitressing until gone 11:30 and babysitting until midnight other times. I was also sometimes it in pubs and clubs.... If it's every now and then I think it's fine, week in week out might get a bit much

Depends on the kid, but in most cases id say that was fine.

I think it entirely depends on the 16 yr old. From a "safety" point of view it is fine. Tne main question is, are they happy to be left alone, or do they get lonely?

Are they doing their homework, eating a proper meal, getting enough sleep, exercise, social life, stimulation?

My 17 yr old would be VERY happy to do this once a week or so. We've left him alone for a weekend before now. I think he would find 3 nights a week on his own a bit much. Different if there is a similar aged sibling to keep them company.

I think people talking about teenagers being out on their own working, or socialising, each evening until 11pm are missing the point. It's being in, alone, doing nothing, that's the problem. It's not a safety/independence thing - it's just a bit lonely!

I think most 16 yo would be fine with this. One of my 3 DC would have fretted until I was home but the others would have been fine.

Being on your own some nights is not at all the same as being on your own three nights a week every week. I wouldn't choose to be on my own that often, and I'm nearly 50.

Totally depends on the 16yo but parents worked nights from when I was 15 and I was left in charge of my younger siblings. It was just how it had the be, whether I was ok with it or not I knew they had to work. My ex was living on his own at 16, working full time 🤷🏻‍♀️

Depends on the 16 year old, of course.But the vast majority of NT 16 year olds should be absolutely fine, provided they’re not completely stupid or out of control. I would have been happy to leave both of mine had I needed to.

My parents went on holiday for 2 weeks when I was 16 (turned 16 in May, they went away end of June). Totally fine for me, but would have been a disaster for some of my friends. Totally depends on the 16 year old.

I have never met anyone who moved out at 16, I moved out for uni at 18 and felt too young.

My eldest DC is 16. I think she would be fine with it. She would get to just eat noodles all day, play the xbox and probably sneak her boyfriend in. I would be very anxious though but I realise I'm probably neurotic.
My younger dc would probably not mind either but she is too young yet.

At 16 its fine, unless there is a special circumstance you haven't elaborated upon.

Yes teens still need adults around but sometimes we are off doing other things. They may appreciate us more the other nights were inside the home.

It also leave the teen to become independent and time to themselves, which they may appreciate and begin to like

@laalaaland

I think if this was EVERY week, I'd want to think about arranging something - if only to be sure he was eating properly. But as an occasional thing, with GPs close by for emergencies and teen happy alone - fine.

This ^^ I know my DD (16) would be delighted if we went out three times in a week and she'd feed herself properly. We know several neighbours well so she has people literally next door to call/go to in a real emergency.

I think your post is weird.

I lived on my own at that age, in my own apartment. Do you really think an average 16 year old cannot handle a few hours in a house at home on their own?

Obviously 16 year olds with SEN etc couldn't be left but in the absence of any specific issues, why would it be a problem?!

katesbushh

I knew people who moved out of home and into their own place at 16

one was back in the 1970s and the other was 2007. it happens less in this century and was fairly common in the 1970s

@katesbushh

I have never met anyone who moved out at 16, I moved out for uni at 18 and felt too young.

My eldest DC is 16. I think she would be fine with it. She would get to just eat noodles all day, play the xbox and probably sneak her boyfriend in. I would be very anxious though but I realise I'm probably neurotic.
My younger dc would probably not mind either but she is too young yet.

Hello!

You've not met me, no. I am a millenial and I left home at 16.

People with different lives to you do exist.

My eldest (now 17) would love it and be fine.

My youngest (almost 16) would call me every 5 minutes.

So, as nearly everyone else has said, it really depends on the kid.

Are you serious? At 16 they can leave school, move out of home. Of COURSE it's ok for a 16 year old to be alone until midnight every night! Why would you not think it wouldn't be? Why do parents these days baby their kids and almost adult teens so much? I walked to school by myself at 9 years old, kids these days need mummy to drop them off when they're 14. I was preparing dinner at 13 while parents were at work. The world is getting really weirder. 16 years old and not able to stay at home alone until midnight? That's helicopter parenting of an independent teen (who is no longer a minor) to the extreme. Helicopter parenting to the extreme. Sorry but you are being absolutely ridiculous.

I lived alone when I was 16. I didn’t need to be reminded to not stick forks in the toaster or anything like that.

I lived in a flat with mates at 17 !!