To send my 8 years old son to school on the bus?

[loveblueskys]

Hi all,

So DS1 is 8, 9 next month he's in yr4. So the school he goes to is about 2.6 miles from where we currently live (we used to live 5 minutes away from school before we moved in here - 2 years ago) We've been doing the drop off and pick ups of course.

As things have changed now currently pregnant and with 3 years old toddler who goes to nursery since this September, DH works hours, it became quite hard to do the school journeys with DS1.

I had a discussion with DH about sending DS1 to school and back on the bus only one bus straight from our main road to school main road (5-10 minutes walk to the bus stops.

DS is very sensible, mature enough for his age and responsible. He also very good with the journey on his own as we've tested him quite few times to lead us.

We're considering giving him a mobile phone ofc. My only concern is that what if the bus goes on diversion?

Has any of you sent DCs to school alone at around similar age? Just looking for some reassurance. TIA

For about a year I relied on public transport to/from work. Journey was under 3 miles bus stop less than 2 minutes from home terminating at the bus station opposite work - so easy right. However I regularly had the bus to work go straight past me because it was already full, bus miss out my stop, going straight down the main road instead as it was running late as well as buses cancelled, both to and lfrom work. The disruptions were more common in bad weather and on occasion more than one bus cancelled in a row. So I wouldn't send an 8 year old child by bus alone, sorry.

Is that enough nos for you OP? If not I will add mine. No. Sorry! Being pregnant and having a toddler doesn’t absolve you and your partner from supervising your 8 year old safely into school.

Also, the times he'll be traveling on the bus will be busy school hours with parents and kids on the journey

How crowded will the bus be? Will he have to fight for a space. The busses around here are packed and quite feral at end of the school day. He might well be exposed to teen conversation and actions that you wouldn't be comfortable with him hearing and/or will unnerve him. Also chances of being mugged for his phone. Sorry OP worse case scenario but he's still a child. A lot of parents around here (outskirts of London) drive their secondary school children so they don't have to face the bus.

I used to come back from school on the bus alone at the age of 5, then walked home for five minutes, crossing two roads. Occasionally in ankle-deep snow. A long time ago but it seems incredible looking back!

I didn't let my own kids take a similar journey until almost at the end of primary school, even though DD begged. I was just too anxious.

@1forAll74

I wouldn't mind at this age. Is it a proper school bus, or an anyone bus ? School bus drivers, usually keep tabs on children who travel on them. My Son and Daughter used to go to school on the bus at this age. the school was about 3 miles away,

I'm assuming it's a public bus, or there wouldn't be a question, surely? I'm still waiting for confirmation from the OP about this. My kids went to school on a school bus from age 5. It's a completely different kettle of fish!

Also, the times he'll be traveling on the bus will be busy school hours with parents and kids on the journey hence we didn't think of weirdos/drunk people onboard?

Perfect time for weirdos to get the bus, surrounded by kids
8 is far too young. Stop being bloody lazy and take your child to school

Lots of misunderstanding of safeguarding and what schools can and can’t dictate on this thread 🙄

I know loads that do it from 7 but it’s the official school bus - not a normal one - so it picks up from various points and drops off at school. The driver wouldn’t (you’d hope!) let them off anywhere else. They also tap in and out I believe and it tracks them although the tracking system isn’t always 100%.
I’m not sure honestly that I would be ok with a standard bus.

No I wouldn't even consider this for an 8 year old. It's crazy.

In our school only from Y5 and you have to sign a form that you allow your child to walk to school alone. They need to know in case a child doesn’t reach the school - they will then know to call parents/ look for the child ASAP.

i'll go against the grain here. I'd say yes.

No way that is shocking you are even considering it. Would you not be worried out of your mind. He is far too young to handle a situation if it would arise and too many predators about and for his own safety no way. He is only 8 no way should he have that responsibility on him.

Completely normal in most countries, but sadly not here.

It's not just 'weirdos and drinks' that could be an issue.
Is the bus also used by secondary school children?
If so, they are often very loud, lots of pushing and shoving, lots of swearing, etc. Not ideal even if a parent is with the younger child but could feel very intimidating to a young 8/9 year old big on their own.

@highlandcoo

I used to come back from school on the bus alone at the age of 5, then walked home for five minutes, crossing two roads. Occasionally in ankle-deep snow. A long time ago but it seems incredible looking back!

I didn't let my own kids take a similar journey until almost at the end of primary school, even though DD begged. I was just too anxious.

Gosh, I can’t imagine my 5 year old doing that. I don’t know if we are just softer now or not..? We walk / scoot everywhere and barely touch the car so it’s not he doesn’t get the practice but it feels like zero comprehension of road safety…

School bus yes, no issue. Public bus - not a chance.

I feel he is too young, if he was to get into difficulties what would be the solution? As teaching staff myself, this would be picked up on in a school environment. 8 is such a young age, they need their parents.

My son is 8 and I would absolutely NOT allow him to go on a bus on his own!
Who else is on that bus? Is it a school bus specifically for children? Or is it public transport? Is the latter, then who else is getting on that bus? Sitting next to your son? Talking to him?....
I work is children’s services and I read awful reports of various incidents, so much can go wrong in this scenario.
Please don't send him on the bus on his own

Not in Y4, no.

Possibly in Y6. DC's school doesn't permit them to leave school without an adult until Y6 and then parents need to give written permission.

Do the school have a breakfast or after school club that would help with juggling work and different drop off times? If not, at age 8/9, I think you need to find a childminder to drop off and pick up from school. Or a nanny.

Not a chance.

I don't understand why you can't go 2.6 miles to drop off/pick up? It must literally take five minutes each way in the car. I don't understand why it's hard but no I wouldn't let him go on public transport alone - where does he get on/off the other end? Does it go into the school itself and would he have to remember to press the bell at either end?

If it was a walk only. Or a school bus. Then I would think yes, but a public bus - no way.

Public buses are notoriously unreliable - not turning up, getting diverted, running late, running early so he misses it. What if he lost his bus pass and the bus driver wouldn't let him on? School buses at least have a proper duty of care.

If there was a diversion, would your son know the next best place to get off and then how to get home? If he didn't have his pass, what could happen while he was stuck at the bus stop - even assuming you answered your phone and then went to get him.

I'd honestly rather get him cycling that distance than a public bus, they just seem so unreliable whenever I catch them.

Well I think my children’s school would be different tbh, you can’t speak for every school, I was in reception earlier and they wouldn’t even let a 4 year old go out with her 15 year old sister because she had to be 16. Schools are different believe it or not

@TurnUpTurnip

There's no need to be snippy. I'm well aware that schools are different, however legalities are the same.

If a parent tells a school to release their child the school, legally, has two options. Release the child as requested by the parent or contact social services if they feel it is unsafe. If social services decline to be interested - which they would in the vast majority of cases - they have no choice.

The only option schools have is to have policies which they request parents follow. They may make them sound like rules that parents have no choice but to follow, but they're not. They rely on parents not challenging them.

No, it's not a good idea. He is surely one of the most precious people in your life and there's too much potential for things to go wrong.

Why can't you to the school run whilst pregnant? Surely it's easier for you as a pregnant woman to do the school run with him, than it is for your son to do as an 8 year old by himself? He doesn't have the life experience of an adult and it's too much to put on his shoulders.

It just makes me think of Darren Vickers too. It's very unusual but terrible things can, and do, happen to children travelling on their own.

I wouldn't.

I think in year 6 it’s probably good to get them ready for secondary school journeys which are usually taken alone, so it’s not a massive shock to the system.

But there’s a huuuuuge difference between kids at 8 and 10/11, so I don’t think I would, no.