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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my 8 years old son to school on the bus?

283 replies

loveblueskys · 11/10/2021 18:18

Hi all,

So DS1 is 8, 9 next month he's in yr4. So the school he goes to is about 2.6 miles from where we currently live (we used to live 5 minutes away from school before we moved in here - 2 years ago) We've been doing the drop off and pick ups of course.

As things have changed now currently pregnant and with 3 years old toddler who goes to nursery since this September, DH works hours, it became quite hard to do the school journeys with DS1.

I had a discussion with DH about sending DS1 to school and back on the bus only one bus straight from our main road to school main road (5-10 minutes walk to the bus stops.

DS is very sensible, mature enough for his age and responsible. He also very good with the journey on his own as we've tested him quite few times to lead us.

We're considering giving him a mobile phone ofc. My only concern is that what if the bus goes on diversion?

Has any of you sent DCs to school alone at around similar age? Just looking for some reassurance. TIA

OP posts:
Steelesauce · 11/10/2021 20:25

No way. I'm a relaxed parent but this makes me feel ill thinking about it. I have 3 kids, my eldest is 9 and I've had plenty of tough school runs with younger siblings but its just something you have to deal with as a parent.

VVKills27 · 11/10/2021 20:26

Is there a reason that you can’t drop or or collect your youngest from nursery after or before your school runs? This is what I do with 3 children. Nursery doesn’t have compulsory start/finish times afterall. I’m sorry if it seems tricky but 8 is far too risky to leave a child on public transport on a regular basis. I agree that this was more common place years ago but nowadays he would look very vulnerable indeed.

Okbye · 11/10/2021 20:29

My sons also 8 & in year 4. Absolutely under no circumstances would I let him do this.

Rowgtfc72 · 11/10/2021 20:30

Dd used to do a 10 min bus journey on her own in year 5.
She walked 15 mins to the bus stop with her friends and I met her at the other end.
We bought her a mobile in case of emergencies.
She's travelled on buses her entire life as I don't drive so is used to the routes and knows a lot of the drivers faces.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/10/2021 20:35

8 is too young. Around their 11 th birthday, so for varying amounts of year 6 to get them ready for year 7, seems normal here.

UnshakenNeedsStirring · 11/10/2021 20:35

He is too young, why cant you just drop and pick him up from school?!!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/10/2021 20:36

The idea of my 7 yo being about to do this next year is Shock

(I have a child in year 8 - so nearly 13 - who’s now very independent getting places on the bus, so waiting til year 6 definitely didn’t hold her back)

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/10/2021 20:37

UnshakenNeedsStirring or pay for someone to do it

namechanging564 · 11/10/2021 20:38

I know a child in my class did it in year 5, a 3 mile journey, the teacher met them the other end. I'm desperately trying to find a way to sort school travel (which is how I found out) but I wasn't very comfortable with this, and from the tone in which the teacher said it I don't think she was comfortable with it either.

Widgets · 11/10/2021 20:39

I can’t believe the bus being diverted is your only concern??

OP are you not concerned about stranger danger Confused your child travelling alone on public transport is a serious safeguarding concern.
ANYONE could get on that bus and sit next to your child, it actually makes me feel sick thinking about it.
I can’t believe you posted this for reassurance that it’s OK. It’s not

EmilyEmmabob · 11/10/2021 20:39

Organise childcare if this is because of clashes over start and finish times. I can't believe you even have to ask. 15 to 20 mins on a public bus? YABU.

Wilkolampshade · 11/10/2021 20:40

Blush oh dear. I went to school on the tube on my own at 6. 6 years, not year 6.
It was a big walk at both ends too.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 11/10/2021 20:41

I’ve just reread and seen that you’re at home with a younger one/ another on the way, so really can’t see why it’s not possible, and why you’re even contemplating sending an 8 on a bus alone.

Wilkolampshade · 11/10/2021 20:41

It was the 70's though.

Sorberret · 11/10/2021 20:43

Absolutely not. No way.

Terminallysleepdeprived · 11/10/2021 20:44

Sorry but in our school this would be treated as a safeguarding issue. Age 9 walking a couple of hundred yards home is totally different to getting on a public bus alone. I can only assume that you haven't actually raised this with the school as I strongly suspect they would be telling you it is not acceptable.

There are plenty of parents with babies who have tondo the school run. You have made the choice to move away from the school and have more kids, you need to find a better way to manage your time in order to do the school run.

nearlywed21 · 11/10/2021 20:44

It probably depends on the child, your local area etc etc. You as the parent and teachers know best.

Luzina · 11/10/2021 20:44

How do you get him to school currently? I think he’s too young to go alone on public transport

nearlywed21 · 11/10/2021 20:46

I don't have kids but as a kid myself at that age we were really independent, cycling from one end of the city to the other amongst normal traffic including buses etc, this was in a busy city abroad. These days, I know some kids aren't allowed to play on their street unsupervised..

To answer your Q, I probably wouldnt allow it in London or what we did as kids but probably would in a safe, rural small town. The inbetweens I have no idea, I would probably have to be a parent in the situation to know!

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/10/2021 20:49

Not a good idea. Partly because another parent with a greater sense of responsibility will end up looking after him every day and they will not be pleased, probably reporting this themselves.

Just get on the bus with the 3 year old.

FatAnkles · 11/10/2021 20:50

Dd walked to primary from the age of 9, alone, but buses are a whole different level. She didn't use a bus independently until the age of 11.

MarcelineMissouri · 11/10/2021 20:56

The thought of this makes me ill!! My eldest has just turned 10 and started middle school. He is now walking on his own - it’s a 10m walk. I wouldn’t be happy at all with him getting a public bus just yet, certainly not last year.

Sure it might be fine….. but what if it isn’t?? There is so much that could go wrong and 8/9 year olds even sensible ones are just not equipped to deal with a lot of those potential scenarios others have mentioned.

Furloughedpissedoff · 11/10/2021 20:56

No way, he may be sensible but he's still a child.
My cousin was just as sensible, he was knocked down and killed when he was 7 or 8 years old back in 1984, crossing the road behind the school bus, his mum was a little late, she would normally have meet him at the bus stop and they would have crossed the road together, but that day he was very excited and ran across to meet her instead of waiting.
She was pregnant at the time and lost the baby, from the shock and grief.
Don't be a fool, you'd never forgive yourself if anything happened.

MrsChuckBass · 11/10/2021 21:00

Surely you must have known there would be issues with getting him to school when you chose to move further away and had subsequent children? What about a childminder who could take him with the other children she takes in?

OnTheBoardwalk · 11/10/2021 21:01

I used to get school bus when I was 12. No official representative from school on it, just used to drop off at 2 schools about 4 miles away

Absolute nightmare that bus. I lived bottom of a U shaped road. Most mornings it missed us out. It even used to go straight across when we were on the bus going home adding a 20 min walk to my journey.

I started taking dodgy shortcut to school instead. Got collered by mother who gave me money for 4 normal bus journeys 48p a day was a lot for her those days. It was only free travel for over 3 miles as the crow flies

I kept the cash and continued to walk the dodgy route

I wouldn’t trust an 8 year old to be responsible, I certainly wasn’t at age 12

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