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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my 8 years old son to school on the bus?

283 replies

loveblueskys · 11/10/2021 18:18

Hi all,

So DS1 is 8, 9 next month he's in yr4. So the school he goes to is about 2.6 miles from where we currently live (we used to live 5 minutes away from school before we moved in here - 2 years ago) We've been doing the drop off and pick ups of course.

As things have changed now currently pregnant and with 3 years old toddler who goes to nursery since this September, DH works hours, it became quite hard to do the school journeys with DS1.

I had a discussion with DH about sending DS1 to school and back on the bus only one bus straight from our main road to school main road (5-10 minutes walk to the bus stops.

DS is very sensible, mature enough for his age and responsible. He also very good with the journey on his own as we've tested him quite few times to lead us.

We're considering giving him a mobile phone ofc. My only concern is that what if the bus goes on diversion?

Has any of you sent DCs to school alone at around similar age? Just looking for some reassurance. TIA

OP posts:
JustLyra · 11/10/2021 18:35

Normally on these threads I'm the one pointing out that schools don't actually have the right to have "no walking alone until x year" rules - it's parental choice.

A 5-10 minute walk to the bus stop, then waiting on the bus, then the bus trip, then another 5-10 minute walk is too much at 8 imo. What if the bus is delayed or doesn't turn up?

Mine have mostly all gone to school alone at that age, but in short walking distance of the school or by taxi. Not on a public bus with scope for things going wrong.

BlusteryLake · 11/10/2021 18:36

He is too young to tackle public transport alone. Whilst you might think he would be OK if everything is hunkey dorey, what if there is a problem - bus route diverted, someone weird sits next to him etc. He is too young to navigate that. Take away the reason this has come up for a moment. If it were easy to take him, would you be happy to put him on the bus alone? I think the new situation is clouding your judgement.

rrhuth · 11/10/2021 18:36

Sorry, he's too young.

TurnUpTurnip · 11/10/2021 18:36

@JustLyra

Normally on these threads I'm the one pointing out that schools don't actually have the right to have "no walking alone until x year" rules - it's parental choice.

A 5-10 minute walk to the bus stop, then waiting on the bus, then the bus trip, then another 5-10 minute walk is too much at 8 imo. What if the bus is delayed or doesn't turn up?

Mine have mostly all gone to school alone at that age, but in short walking distance of the school or by taxi. Not on a public bus with scope for things going wrong.

Well my kids school wouldn’t let a child out on their own at this age and would call ss if the parents didn’t show up
tinierclanger · 11/10/2021 18:38

Absolutely not. Buses get delayed and cancelled all the time. Not all drivers are pleasant and helpful. In another country with different public transport maybe but not in the UK.

ConstanceGracy · 11/10/2021 18:38

No, so many things could go wrong.
Bus could be cancelled / diverted, he could miss it and be standing there for a long time…
And don’t forget winter when it gets dark earlier.

TurnUpTurnip · 11/10/2021 18:38

Thinking about it more I don’t even let my 7 year old sit upstairs on the bus alone because there are too many weirdos out there let alone letting him travel to school completely alone. I remember my brother being on a bus once on his own and he said the bus was empty but a man got on and sat right next to him on the seat next to his on an empty bus, like I said too many weirdos.

RobinPenguins · 11/10/2021 18:42

Too much at age 8 I think. I’d be ok with it in year 6, or for a super sensible older year 5 at a push.

KimmyKimdoo · 11/10/2021 18:42

Good grief!! He’s far too young Shock

WhereIsMumHiding3 · 11/10/2021 18:43

(My DD didn't catch the bus, friend walked home with my DD first as bus stop was end of our road )
When there was a problem she rang her parents and was also very independent & resourceful at knowing which of her friends lived where so she's knock on friend's doors if she had a problem

I think you know your son and what he can cope with. As long as he has a charged phone with him - maybe buy a small bank charger he can keep should his phone run out of charge,

Booboosweet · 11/10/2021 18:51

8 is far too young. We live a 3 minute walk from school and I won't let dc goalone til she's 11.

GetMeOut22 · 11/10/2021 18:51

Too young. You need to wait at least another year at a very minimum before you can send him on his own.

ButterflyUpSoHigh · 11/10/2021 18:51

He's far too young for that. He should be your priority not an inconvenience.

SunndyD · 11/10/2021 18:54

You say school bus, is it purely for that school (ie primary) or is it other age groups too? I got the school bus from age 6 but it was private and I was directed to the bus by staff members from
School.
If for example there is a staff member making sure he gets on it at the end of the day then that’s fine, but if there isn’t …. I’d not go for it

JustLyra · 11/10/2021 18:54

Well my kids school wouldn’t let a child out on their own at this age and would call ss if the parents didn’t show up

@TurnUpTurnip And SS would likely look at the distance and tell them to stop wasting their time.

I worked in 19 schools over the years. I've seen parents challenge that policy numerous times. Only twice have SS been called and only once were they remotely interested.

The rest of the time, after a bit of grumbling, the schools all accepted that it's not actually their place to decide.

TheViewFromTheCheapSeats · 11/10/2021 18:55

I’ve taught yr 3/4 children who do similar. I’ve had calls from the police who’ve found them in our uniform lost at different bus stops, gone out to look for them in the dark etc. All ok in the end, but it seemed a bit mad tbh.
Does he have no one to at least travel with?

Willyoujustbequiet · 11/10/2021 18:56

No. He's far too young.

Our school wouldn't allow it anyway.

MissCruellaDeVil · 11/10/2021 18:57

That would be a serious safeguarding concern for me if a child in my class was catching the bus alone. It's too young.

shepabear · 11/10/2021 18:59

No way would I do this. At the moment I walk my 6 yr old son to the bus stop and put him on the bus, but it's a designated bus for the school with a "bus nanny" on board who ensures the kids are all safe, seatbelts on etc... Even doing that on his first day at school this term was anxiety inducing for me, and that's knowing he is in perfectly safe hands. I couldn't do it if it was public transport, even if he was 8 instead of 6.

TurnUpTurnip · 11/10/2021 18:59

@JustLyra

Well my kids school wouldn’t let a child out on their own at this age and would call ss if the parents didn’t show up

@TurnUpTurnip And SS would likely look at the distance and tell them to stop wasting their time.

I worked in 19 schools over the years. I've seen parents challenge that policy numerous times. Only twice have SS been called and only once were they remotely interested.

The rest of the time, after a bit of grumbling, the schools all accepted that it's not actually their place to decide.

Well I think my children’s school would be different tbh, you can’t speak for every school, I was in reception earlier and they wouldn’t even let a 4 year old go out with her 15 year old sister because she had to be 16. Schools are different believe it or not
MyDcAreMarvel · 11/10/2021 19:00

@TurnUpTurnip Well my kids school wouldn’t let a child out on their own at this age and would call ss if the parents didn’t show up don’t be ridiculous of course they would not be legally allowed to stop an 8 year old leaving with consent and SS would tell any school not to waste their time!

TurnUpTurnip · 11/10/2021 19:00

They don’t let the children out till they’ve seen the parent at my kids school

EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/10/2021 19:01

@Booboosweet

8 is far too young. We live a 3 minute walk from school and I won't let dc goalone til she's 11.
I agree 8 is too young to deal with public transport, but can't believe you're saying you won't let your child walk 3 minutes to school until they're 11.

My dc have summer birthdays. If I hadn't let them walk 3 minutes away until they were 11, they would have gone from total supervision on the school journey to catching a bus to secondary school 5 miles away.

OP, I think you've got to accept that he's too young at the moment. Maybe in 2 years time.

Superstar22 · 11/10/2021 19:01

He could get off at any point on the way there or back, for a number of reasons, perhaps even against his will, and you wouldn’t know where he is, possibly for hours.
I really like my kids to be independent - they are almost 9 & 10, but no way would I ask that of them: it is too much for them.

daisypond · 11/10/2021 19:02

My dc were encouraged by school to make their way to and from school in year 5, including travelling by public transport alone. But I think it’s too young for an eight-year-old.