To send my 8 years old son to school on the bus?

[loveblueskys]

Hi all,

So DS1 is 8, 9 next month he's in yr4. So the school he goes to is about 2.6 miles from where we currently live (we used to live 5 minutes away from school before we moved in here - 2 years ago) We've been doing the drop off and pick ups of course.

As things have changed now currently pregnant and with 3 years old toddler who goes to nursery since this September, DH works hours, it became quite hard to do the school journeys with DS1.

I had a discussion with DH about sending DS1 to school and back on the bus only one bus straight from our main road to school main road (5-10 minutes walk to the bus stops.

DS is very sensible, mature enough for his age and responsible. He also very good with the journey on his own as we've tested him quite few times to lead us.

We're considering giving him a mobile phone ofc. My only concern is that what if the bus goes on diversion?

Has any of you sent DCs to school alone at around similar age? Just looking for some reassurance. TIA

Just no. He is too young.

I'm very relaxed about my dc playing out and going local places without me, but I absolutely wouldn't do this. There's far too much potential for things to go wrong (the bus is full and he can't get on, there's a diversion, he misses the stop, bad behaviour on the bus to name a few that spring to mind) and I don't think he's old enough to be able to work out what to do in an unexpected situation.

God no my 8yo is very danger aware but I wouldn't allow him to travel alone.
I was 11 when I'd get the bus 3 miles to my school.
8 is just too young imo.

I love all these 'in my day we walked miles to school in waist high snow across several busy roads age 5 etc etc ' just because back in the day we did these things doesn't mean it was ok or safe. There's alot we used to do back in our day that now seem absolutely ludicrous. I used to travel with my siblings in the car with no sear belts. We didn't ever crash but doesn't mean it wasn't safe and now wouldn't dream of putting kids in a car without strapping them in. Just because your 8 year old seems grown up, they are actually not and it doesn't make a jot of difference if they come across dodgy character or bullies. Why shouldn't we protect our kids for as long as they are still vulnerable little people? Just because they can doesn't always mean they should. OP you're not the first pregnant mum with a toddler to get the older kids to school. Please just take him.

@WingingItSince1973

I love all these 'in my day we walked miles to school in waist high snow across several busy roads age 5 etc etc ' just because back in the day we did these things doesn't mean it was ok or safe. There's alot we used to do back in our day that now seem absolutely ludicrous. I used to travel with my siblings in the car with no sear belts. We didn't ever crash but doesn't mean it wasn't safe and now wouldn't dream of putting kids in a car without strapping them in. Just because your 8 year old seems grown up, they are actually not and it doesn't make a jot of difference if they come across dodgy character or bullies. Why shouldn't we protect our kids for as long as they are still vulnerable little people? Just because they can doesn't always mean they should. OP you're not the first pregnant mum with a toddler to get the older kids to school. Please just take him.

This. He is far too young.

Please reconsider doing this.
I started travelling to school on my own when I was 8. I was 'sensible and mature' and it was a single bus ride, in a 'nice' area of London. On the way home one day I was waiting for the bus (which was often late) and was picked up by a man in a car. I had of course been told 'don't go with strangers' but he told me he was a classmate's father. He wasn't. That was in what everyone thinks of as the 'safe' 1960s.

Children of that age, however supposedly mature, cannot risk assess situations safely.

No. Too young. Wouldn't even let a 10 Yr old do this.

I am not trying to stick the boot in but you and your husband decided to move, you both decided to get pregnant and now think that your nearly 9 year old should be getting a bus on his own. The potential for something to go wrong is too high , rethink your options, your son shouldn't be the one to pay for his parent decisions.

Definitely too young and seems very unfair that you can't/ won't take him to school any more due to younger DC taking priority.

Er no way, he’s 8!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’d say definitely not. I think you’re just going to have to juggle it for a another year at the very least

I did it myself from age 7, and so did all my children (youngest was 6).
I thoroughly recommend giving them that little bit of safe adventure; it builds social skills and self confidence.

Depends on the child though my instinct would be no.

As a child we used to take the school bus from the age of 5 - 15 minute walk to bus stop and wait for it then 15 minutes back again BUT it was country lanes with hardly any traffic and a group of us together with the oldest keeping an eye on the younger ones.

I certainly wouldn't let my 8 year old do it alone but he is quite absent minded and seems to have no sense of danger.

Unless you're ill, you being pregnant does not preclude you from taking toddler and self on bus with your 8 year old. Presumably the 3 year old will be going to school in September next year and you're going to have to do it anyway with the baby - you certainly can't expect a 9 year old to watch a 4 year old. It's hard but I think you'll have to find a way round it.

Who does having a toddler who goes to nursery and being pregnant stop you from taking your DS to school?

Too young for me, I also used to work in a school and it wouldn't be allowed under safeguarding.

It would be a no from me. I couldn't imagine either of my dc doing this and one is in year 5. To me there are just too many risks, plus it's getting dark earlier now.

Public bus no. School bus totally different scenario. Year 6 at a push if he’s sensible. Wouldn’t be norm to get public bus until yr 7 here.
There’s always the what if.
First time my dc got train to city alone there was someone having a mental health crisis (his behaviour was threatening to other passengers) then a bomb threat (controlled explosion carried out). Train stopped at a station she didn’t know and all passengers had to walk up tracks and hide in bushes awaiting police/bomb squad. She was then alone in a place she didn’t know with no way to get home. She was 15 and ok but still quite unnerved by it.
Get a childminder to take or move school to a local one.

Not a can as

If somethings the normal where you are then I think it's safer because of that. Being the only small child doing it makes him vulnerable. I can't imagine my 8 year old being left to fend for himself because I had other kids now. It's not really how it works in 2021.

We moved too and we have had to develop a routine to ferry one child across town and the other locally. No way would I make it his problem and potentially leave him in danger (and possibly scared) because I couldn't put him first.

Really quite upsetting

@loveblueskys

To the ones asking if the school is okay with it, yes our school allow children go home alone from yr4.

Haven't read the whole thread but absolutely not. So, it's a 10 minute walk each way so first off, there's a young child walking alone for 20 minutes on dark, rainy winter mornings. He might be "mature' for 8 but he might get on the wrong bus, miss it, it could break down, be diverted, he could be run over ... So many variables. The thing that is most horrifying is that if your son goes missing God forbid, you may not know until the end of the school day. "Difficult" or not, it's your responsibility to get your own child to and from school safely.

In our school, Y5 and Y6 can walk home alone, as long as the parents sign to say they take full responsibility for the child from them leaving our gates.

We had two Y6s last year who had to travel. One got the bus, and a member of staff had to meet him in the morning and escort him in the evening, because we were worried for his safety. The other got a taxi.

For both children, we contacted parents to say they had arrived in the morning and been seen off in the afternoon.

DEFINITELY wouldn't be comfortable with a Y4 having to do that on his own.

No, he’s much too young and you are naive. He is old enough to be fine if all goes to plan, but what will he do if the following situations happen, all of which I’ve seen?

• the bus breaks down and everyone is made to get off in the middle of nowhere.
• a bully / psycho attacks him on the bus and the bus driver doesn’t intervene.
• A bully steals rucksack and throws it out of the bus window.
• there’s a aggressive drunk on the bus.
• there’s someone with a knife on the bus
• the bus closes the doors just as he’s about to get on and drives off (ok I didn’t see this but it happened to 11 yr old girl I know who was deliberately stranded on her own in dark by a sadistic driver)
• a creepy stranger offers him a lift and is insistent.
• someone steals his wallet / phone and bus ticket

@2bazookas

I did it myself from age 7, and so did all my children (youngest was 6). I thoroughly recommend giving them that little bit of safe adventure; it builds social skills and self confidence.

But it might not be safe at such a young age!

@lifesgoodwithlg

I am not trying to stick the boot in but you and your husband decided to move, you both decided to get pregnant and now think that your nearly 9 year old should be getting a bus on his own. The potential for something to go wrong is too high , rethink your options, your son shouldn't be the one to pay for his parent decisions.

This!

No, because I had encounters with old perves on the bus at least 3 times when I was a kid. I dont think buses are safe spaces.