Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my 8 years old son to school on the bus?

283 replies

loveblueskys · 11/10/2021 18:18

Hi all,

So DS1 is 8, 9 next month he's in yr4. So the school he goes to is about 2.6 miles from where we currently live (we used to live 5 minutes away from school before we moved in here - 2 years ago) We've been doing the drop off and pick ups of course.

As things have changed now currently pregnant and with 3 years old toddler who goes to nursery since this September, DH works hours, it became quite hard to do the school journeys with DS1.

I had a discussion with DH about sending DS1 to school and back on the bus only one bus straight from our main road to school main road (5-10 minutes walk to the bus stops.

DS is very sensible, mature enough for his age and responsible. He also very good with the journey on his own as we've tested him quite few times to lead us.

We're considering giving him a mobile phone ofc. My only concern is that what if the bus goes on diversion?

Has any of you sent DCs to school alone at around similar age? Just looking for some reassurance. TIA

OP posts:
EveryFlightBeginsWithAFall · 11/10/2021 19:02

Mine did from 9 almost 10. I took him to the bus stop and he got off about 4 stops further on. He was picked up after school though.

seaandsandcastles · 11/10/2021 19:02

Absolutely not! He’s far too young to get the bus alone. This is not okay.

Sherrystrull · 11/10/2021 19:02

No.

Why can't you take him?

MagnoliaBeige · 11/10/2021 19:03

Not a chance I’d let an 8 year old do this and have you even checked if the bus company allow unaccompanied children on at that age? You’re going to have to do what every other parent does and find a way to get your child to school safely. Why don’t you move him to a closer school for example?

Yesmate · 11/10/2021 19:04

My DS is the same age and the thought of him being on his own to the bus stop, at the bus stop, on the bus and then walking to school makes me sad. He’s too young, he’s bright and he’s mature but he’s 9. Try to find another solution, it’s not your sons fault you moved.

shas19 · 11/10/2021 19:05

No way!

Blossomtoes · 11/10/2021 19:06

I went to school on the bus when I was six. I wasn’t the only one. Do any other kids at the school go by bus @loveblueskys?

titchy · 11/10/2021 19:07

And how does he deal with teenagers being shits and not letting him off the bus, drunk people sitting next to him, weirdos sitting too close to him and people thinking it's funny to grab his bag and throw it off the bus? Is he equipped to deal with all of those scenarios by himself then go ahead.

keepingmumred · 11/10/2021 19:07

My daughter walks to and from school on her own and she literally just turned 8 yesterday. However, we do live just across from the school and there is a lollipop man to get her across the road. I don't think I could send her on bus yet and I'm pretty laid back and she is very sensible and responsible

LtGreggs · 11/10/2021 19:07

Well my DS caught a public bus to & from school at 8 (Yr 4). But it was quite a 'supported' situation. I walked him to the bus stop & waited with him. The bus, whilst public, had a large cohort of children on it all going to the same school. Including up to sixth form - and the older ones were expected to look out for the littlies in any unusual situation. The drivers were also very aware of number of young children on board. I met him off the bus in the evening. The school stop had teaching staff 'on the lookout'.

We live semi-rurally and this is how it works.

Unusual situations do happen - breakdowns, diversions etc. You would need to role-play though plan B etc with him.

Thingsthatgo · 11/10/2021 19:09

Times have changed. What would have been fine when I was 8 is not ok anymore. He is too young - get the bus with him for the next year at least. When kids do get the bus, maybe in year 7, there’s usually a whole bunch of them looking out for each other and keeping each other company.

Lollyneenah · 11/10/2021 19:09

What is it about the journey that you are finding to hard? Timings? Like struggling to do drop offs for 2 kids and get to work?
It's too young. Age 10 or 11 fine, but not 8

Original poster
loveblueskys · 11/10/2021 19:09

Thanks all for your replies.

DS1 is going to be 9 next month and would definitely walk him to the bus stop from home and pick him up from bus stop too. Also, the times he'll be traveling on the bus will be busy school hours with parents and kids on the journey hence we didn't think of weirdos/drunk people onboard?

My only concern was that if the bus diverted what are the possibilities. Having said that, the journey is about 15 minutes in the morning and about 20 minutes back home.

I might have to juggle at pick up time though considering in winter gets dark early.

OP posts:
wavecatcher · 11/10/2021 19:10

I'm in the same situation, far away school run toddler and pregnant. It's hard work and sucks but nope 8 years old is far too young on his own. Maybe ask to another mum to take in turns doing a pick up?

Confrontayshunme · 11/10/2021 19:11

If you do it with him or follow him in a car the first few days, see how he does and go from there. It is very normal to commute on public transport in most countries. My DD commuted safely home by bike (mostly on pavements and shared paths) independently in Year 4, but there are loads of parents who were sure she would be kidnapped or in an accident. Actually, she has really matured and proven she is ready for the independence and responsibility. Your child might be bullied or kidnapped or go a stop too far, but it is far more likely that he rises to the occasion and shows you that he can cope while enjoying the independence.

LittleLadyCece · 11/10/2021 19:11

No reassurance from me either. 8 is far too young from my point of view to go on public transport alone. He may be mature for 8 but what about factors out of your control such as whose on the bus, bus diversions etc. I'm sure the school do allow the year group to go home alone but I can't imagine this would involve a bus.

AdoptedBumpkin · 11/10/2021 19:11

I'd be very reluctant to do this.

Anonymous48 · 11/10/2021 19:12

I assume this is public transportation you're talking about, not a designated school bus? In that case, then he's absolutely too young.

I may have missed it, but why does you being pregnant mean you can't take him to school and pick him up any more? Or even go on the bus with him?

wavecatcher · 11/10/2021 19:12

@loveblueskys

Thanks all for your replies.

DS1 is going to be 9 next month and would definitely walk him to the bus stop from home and pick him up from bus stop too. Also, the times he'll be traveling on the bus will be busy school hours with parents and kids on the journey hence we didn't think of weirdos/drunk people onboard?

My only concern was that if the bus diverted what are the possibilities. Having said that, the journey is about 15 minutes in the morning and about 20 minutes back home.

I might have to juggle at pick up time though considering in winter gets dark early.

Your being really naive about this, weirdos and drunks don't just come out after dark! Yes the school run is a pain but what your suggesting is neglectful to your young child.
1forAll74 · 11/10/2021 19:13

I wouldn't mind at this age. Is it a proper school bus, or an anyone bus ?
School bus drivers, usually keep tabs on children who travel on them. My Son and Daughter used to go to school on the bus at this age. the school was about 3 miles away,

LtGreggs · 11/10/2021 19:13

If you do do it - watch out for him falling asleep on the bus on the way home! Nice warm 30min ride on a dark winter afternoon - my 8 yo drifted off on occasion, and he wasn't the only one. A 14yo did it last week!

As per my post above, on our bus there's a lot of school kids on the look out for each other and a positive atmosphere.

Sherrystrull · 11/10/2021 19:13

I still don't understand why you can't take him.

EarringsandLipstick · 11/10/2021 19:14

No definitely not.

I've just started letting my 12 yo & 10 yo DSs come home on the bus themselves.

I'm not that worried about their safety, more the cop on to deal with changes safely, be responsible.

In my case, I won't be at home - we've started to work on site again a few days a week so they need to come into the house themselves & then their older sister / I will be home within an hour.

Morgan12 · 11/10/2021 19:14

Fuck off 😂😂😂😂😂 is this serious?

SpeedRunParent · 11/10/2021 19:15

I wouldn't have with mine when they were that young but I travelled 3 stops on the tube alone at that age to get to school. It's a tough call. Having had three children in three really close together but in two different primary schools and one in nursery at one point, I can only say that I just spent a couple of hours twice a day doing school runs for a while. Breakfast club for the older ones came in handy so I could drop them off first and work my way down. The schools were about 5 miles apart and the nursery another four miles from the second school.