To think she ought to have let me have it?

[AngeloMysterioso]

On my way home from town yesterday I popped into a charity shop for a browse and they had a lovely baby changing bag. I wanted to buy it but didn’t have the arm space for any more stuff and the woman who ran the shop said they couldn’t keep it for me, so I came back into town this morning to get it.
The charity shop still has a utterly daft one way system so it’s really cramped and today I had the pram. Ahead of me was a woman whose Mum (I presume) was standing next to the bags with a pram while she looked at other stuff. In front of them was someone in a wheelchair so I stood and waited until they could move so I could pick the bag up.
The woman then walks back over to her Mum, spots the bag and picks it up. I said “Oh, I was going to get that, I’ve come back into town for it.”

Now in her position, what I’d have done was said on, here you go, and handed it over. However she just shrugged and said “oh, sorry.” And took it.

AIBU to think that’s a dick move and she should have let me have it?

We could have all sympathise with you especially if you are on a low income if you'd just told how you missed out on something you really wanted and left out the part about being enttiled.

I'm confused. Which is it?
You said you had no room to take it and would have paid if they'd let you, then you say you didn't get it because you didn't have any money.

@TheWoleb

Also, you had a pram with you. So you already have the baby? And that means you must already have a changing bag. You dont need a second one and it doesnt sound like you can afford to buy duplicates of things if you're down to nothing before your benefit payment.

I already have a toddler, I’m expecting another. And our current changing bag is a very old rucksack that is falling apart but I can’t afford a fancy new one. Hence looking in charity shops.

Seriously, I’m the only person who would have not taken it if I’d been her?

I bet you would have.

Didn’t you have to queue to ask them to leave it by for you anyway?

If you were that desperate for a wee with a sore back and just couldn’t face the queue, and had no money why did you go for a browse in the shop to begin with?

But she found a bag she wanted. Surely you ought to have been really nice and given it to her, despite the fact you wanted it too? Given that you're such a nice person and everything? That would have been a kind thing to do.

Most people would have done the same and taken the bag, that doesn't make them a dick.
Unfortunately she doesn't have any loyalty to you and I would have done the same thing

It's a PITA but yabu

She got it first it's not a 'dick move', what if she had seen it on another day before you? She owes you nothing.

Maybe I am BU but the whole vibe from her just felt a bit “oh soz it’s mine now, sucks to be you.”

Yes you are being unreasonable. Was she supposed to have apologised for wanting something and having the fortune to pick it up first? Was she supposed to care about your skintness/backache/full bladder/child benefit situation? Is any of that anything to do with her? You haven't even considered her situation. Maybe she lost out on a similar bag last week and was overjoyed to find this one? Maybe she's skinter than you? Maybe she's permanently disabled in some hidden way that trumps your backaches? Since you think health reasons comes into who should purchase the last one of something from a shop. Literally all you can think about is yourself! But you're under the impression you're "kinder/nicer" than others.

I think yabu. It’s annoying, but she didn’t owe you anything and you didn’t have any rights over it at that point.

You could just buy a cheap bag and a pound shop changing mat, you don't need to have a changing bag. I had an expensive one which wasn't the most practical with my first child. I just bought a bag I liked for my second and the pound shop changing mats are great, they are only £1 so you can replace them rather than using the same manky mat for months on end. Just a suggestion if money is tight.

Yeah right! Course you would’ve done that!

If I wouldn’t have done that there’d be no point in my starting the thread would there? It would have been “AIBU to think this woman did exactly what I’d have done?”

@FreedomFaith

See, you should have said 'excuse me I just need to reach that bag and I'll be out of your way'.

You lost out because you didn't speak up. Use your voice next time, you have one for a reason. Can't expect people to be nice, no one is these days.

It's really as simple as this

I have an image of OP laden down like buckaroo. The changing bag would have made her jump and everything fall off.

I've just sold my lovely storksak change bag on vinted for a bargain price. There were loads of others on there.

It's a shame for you and I get you're gutted to have missed out. But she didn't do anything wrong. It's not her fault you couldn't buy it yesterday or that you didn't just say "can I just grab that bag" instead of waiting for them to move. It's just one of those things. I would've been stood waiting for the shop to open this morning though, then you wouldn't have missed out I expect.

Literally all you can think about is yourself!

So wanting to buy a bag in a charity shop = literally all you can think about is yourself?

So you didn't offer to pay for it yesterday then?

Did you add that so we agreed with you?

If you’d paid for the bag (or not) and it was behind the counter with your name and “reserved tag” on it, yes it’s yours. Otherwise this woman has done nothing wrong at all in buying it first ahead of you.

@AngeloMysterioso why didn't you use the bag as a bag the day before?

The guy in front of me at Starbucks this morning ordered the last croissant, which I'd also been coveting in the queue. I'm sure I spotted it before him but I didn't consider saying 'hey I intended to buy that.. I saw it first' and then expect him to let me buy it

@AngeloMysterioso

Literally all you can think about is yourself!

So wanting to buy a bag in a charity shop = literally all you can think about is yourself?

As others have said if you wanted it so badly you’d have carried it away when you first saw it or got to the shop early this morning in order to be able to buy it first.

If you have back pain issues, you’re better off with a rucksack not a changing bag anyway. So better to have missed out on this one - and look out for a rucksack instead.

This is going to sound very “four Yorkshiremen” but I used a carrier bag a lot of the time for changing stuff. Nobody needs a “changing bag” - I honestly think the universe did you a favour by getting her to take it. Now you’ve saved the money and can buy a rucksack that will be cheaper and better for your back 👍🏻

I once found a fabulous wool coat in a charity shop while shopping with my mother. I turned around to look for her to show her, couldn't see her anywhere so looked back at my coat - which by now had my mother holding the other side of it. I said, "isn't this great", her words, as she swept it up to the til for herself, "your mother is your worst enemy in the charity shop."

@AnnaSW1

The guy in front of me at Starbucks this morning ordered the last croissant, which I'd also been coveting in the queue. I'm sure I spotted it before him but I didn't consider saying 'hey I intended to buy that.. I saw it first' and then expect him to let me buy it

@AnnaSW1 - you’re doing it all wrong - you should’ve elbowed him out of the way and snatched the croissant out of his hand saying “I wanted it first!”… joking!