To think she ought to have let me have it?

[AngeloMysterioso]

On my way home from town yesterday I popped into a charity shop for a browse and they had a lovely baby changing bag. I wanted to buy it but didn’t have the arm space for any more stuff and the woman who ran the shop said they couldn’t keep it for me, so I came back into town this morning to get it.
The charity shop still has a utterly daft one way system so it’s really cramped and today I had the pram. Ahead of me was a woman whose Mum (I presume) was standing next to the bags with a pram while she looked at other stuff. In front of them was someone in a wheelchair so I stood and waited until they could move so I could pick the bag up.
The woman then walks back over to her Mum, spots the bag and picks it up. I said “Oh, I was going to get that, I’ve come back into town for it.”

Now in her position, what I’d have done was said on, here you go, and handed it over. However she just shrugged and said “oh, sorry.” And took it.

AIBU to think that’s a dick move and she should have let me have it?

YABU.
I understand it's frustrating, but she didn't do anything wrong. You could have only seen it the minute she picked it up for all she knew.

I'm just bemused by the statement of waiting for your benefit money to go in before buying something you clearly don't need 🤣 I would have given it to you as I hate confrontation and I always seem to do what people want me to do.... but I would have for sure come on here as soon as I got home bagless and put a post up asking " aibu to think the woman I gave the bag to is a dick?" 🤣🤣

Do you know the make? Maybe you could find it in another shop.

To be honest I think it's the woman who runs the shop is the one being the dick. Maybe it's policy but she knew she was going to sell it so she could have kept it for one day. One bag, one day? Surely that wasn't going to take up that much room. Sounds like a jobsworth to me.

I honestly can't say what I would have done. However, I would have asked her to hand the bag as i wanted to buy it and use the time to check it over. But that is me. I often pick things up and change my mind.

@Rollonbreaktime

To be honest I think it's the woman who runs the shop is the one being the dick. Maybe it's policy but she knew she was going to sell it so she could have kept it for one day. One bag, one day? Surely that wasn't going to take up that much room. Sounds like a jobsworth to me.

It might not be one bag one day. People might be asking for stuff to be put away all day long 🤷🏻‍♀️ Some people really cannot conceive that they're not the only one in the world, other people are living their lives right alongside them.

@jwpetal

I honestly can't say what I would have done. However, I would have asked her to hand the bag as i wanted to buy it and use the time to check it over. But that is me. I often pick things up and change my mind.

I can't make head nor tail of your post.

You might be the nicest person in the world but people say things to get what they want. She doesn't know you so it is okay for her to take the bag. If she knew you, it would be different. Get over it

I would have given you the bag. But I'm weak and hate confrontation. I'd have beaten myself up for being so weak for ages too so I say well done her for keeping it as she got there first

Everyone saying you’re being unreasonable are the type to just take things without any consideration

Everyone saying you’re not being unreasonable are the nice normal people.. who sadly are consistently being walked over by the inconsiderate

It’s tough. As I’m getting older I’m falling more into the inconsiderate group because I’m sick of people taking the mick

Now I've read your update about your CB and needing a wee and having 3 heavy bags and the rain I really feel for you. You're still being unreasonable but I can see why it pissed you off. Fingers crossed you find another lovely bag that's even better

To be honest I think it's the woman who runs the shop is the one being the dick. Maybe it's policy but she knew she was going to sell it so she could have kept it for one day

Yes, specially taking into account that it's a charity shop, you would expect better customer service and more concessions

I'd have let you have it but I'm a terrible people pleaser and would probably have been a bit annoyed at myself/ you afterwards.

Surely you should have just bought it when you first seen it yesterday? How large was it that you couldn't manage to carry it? Snooze you lose I'm afraid...

I’d have let you have it. I’m not a people pleaser quite the opposite, but I don’t need to swipe things in charity shops from people who’ve crossed town to get it.

I think the owner was rather jobsworth. I don’t believe she didn’t have room to store it for you, I think she just cba. Nor do I believe a charity shop is inundated with people buying stuff and asking them to them to hold unlit next day.

I totally understand your frustration, but she's got every right to have kept it for herself. Unfortunately for you. Next time I'd be pushier and just wrestle my way through to claim the treasure.

Omg. Someone picked up the bag you wanted. She got it first. That's life.

The rest is total bullshit. Get over yourself. You have no idea about her life and why she may have been more 'worthy' of the bag than you. Not that this is relevant. That's not how shopping works... but you seem to think it is. Weird.

Love this thread

If someone told me they were going to buy a bag I picked up, I would have dropped it like a hot brick. Not sure why. I can't cope with anything like that. Anxiety related.

Did you ask if you could buy it the day before, and they keep it for you? Or did you just expect them to keep it back never knowing if you will come back or not?

I think I would have given it to you OP.
But I also would never have said anything when she picked it up.
You must have known there was a chance it would’ve sold when you went back for it, just unlucky if it only sold the minute before.

But hate to say it, you probably also made it seem more desirable to her by showing you wanted it!

Ooops things have moved on... I actually think it was rude to put the lady on the spot while she was shopping like that. I wouldn't expect someone to argue with me as soon as I picked something up when having a browse. A lot of people would feel guilted into handing it over.

If you would have emptied your account to buy a bag, which isn’t a necessary purchase, then perhaps it was good someone else got it. You never know when the children need something essential or an unexpected breakage of a boiler etc needs to be paid for.

I agree it was rude of the OP to have said anything. She had no claim on the bag and was trying to guilt the other woman. I'm glad the other woman didn't hand it over, I hope she gets good use out of it!