To think she ought to have let me have it?

[AngeloMysterioso]

On my way home from town yesterday I popped into a charity shop for a browse and they had a lovely baby changing bag. I wanted to buy it but didn’t have the arm space for any more stuff and the woman who ran the shop said they couldn’t keep it for me, so I came back into town this morning to get it.
The charity shop still has a utterly daft one way system so it’s really cramped and today I had the pram. Ahead of me was a woman whose Mum (I presume) was standing next to the bags with a pram while she looked at other stuff. In front of them was someone in a wheelchair so I stood and waited until they could move so I could pick the bag up.
The woman then walks back over to her Mum, spots the bag and picks it up. I said “Oh, I was going to get that, I’ve come back into town for it.”

Now in her position, what I’d have done was said on, here you go, and handed it over. However she just shrugged and said “oh, sorry.” And took it.

AIBU to think that’s a dick move and she should have let me have it?

@Stompythedinosaur

Why on earth were you more entitled than she was? She got it first.

You would really say that Oh, take it? I would be prepared to bet good money that you wouldn't, it's easy to paint oneself as an angel in retrospect!

Exactly that happened to me with a lovely floor rug once. I had to go out and get some cash as the second hand shop didn't take card. Got back, stood aside to let someone past as she was practically breathing down my neck and she grabbed the rug off the floor practically as i was bending down to do the same. I did comment along the lines of "I was after that one, gorgeous isn't it" but certainly didn't expect her to let me have it (and she didn't!)

It's annoying but I don't think she was being unreasonable - unfortunately for me she'd got there first..

YABVVU

But the woman said she would keep it her for snd she made a special trip for it!!!!

No she didn't say that

OP, it is understandable that you are disappointed, but that bag could have gone at any point since you saw it yesterday. I never leave anything in a charity shop to go back to, because chances are it won't be there.

I don't think she did anything wrong to be honest. I would have said, "excuse me I just want to have a look at that bag" and not stood and watched somebody else pick it up in front of me.

Have you tried Vinted for cheap stuff? They have loads on there

@Workinghardeveryday

But the woman said she would keep it her for snd she made a special trip for it!!!!

I would have definitely let you had it. Suppose I am polite

The op said they said they told her they wouldn't keep it for her

OP, YABU.

She doesn’t know for sure that you went back just to get this bag. As far as she’s concerned, you might have seen her with the bag in her hands and made up an excuse why you wanted it and were trying to guilt trip her into giving it to you. Maybe I’m very cynical but that would probably my first thought. Because everyone knows that you should buy a good charity shop find immediately, chances are otherwise that it’s gone.

I voted YANBU. I would have given it to you and can understand your disappointment when you had gone back into town just for that bag.

I actually feel sorry for the woman. One minute she's minding her own business browsing the shop, she picks something up and immediately a random woman appears out of nowhere trying to negotiate/guilt trip her into handing it over (I've literally never seen anyone try to do this so I can't imagine how I would react if someone tried it on me).

Shops are first come first served. If it's in your hands, it's yours to buy or put back if you change your mind. And it's rude to try to pressure someone into handing it over. OP you'd have been better off standing back to see if she changed her mind.

Thank you! Jeez I’m starting to despair for humanity…

Calm down, this is a bloody bag, not saving starving children! 'Despair for humanity' 🙄🙄🙄

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves
Oh I see - shit 😬

Sounds a bit mean spirited of the other woman, if I was her I would have let you just have it, especially if you had said you had come all the way back into town to get it.

Is this a fake post? If the op can't afford a secomd hand baby bag from a charity shop How's she going to afford a new baby. Confused.

@Peanutbuttercupisyum

Well technically obviously she had a right to it..and was perfectly entitled to take it. In actual real life of course she was being a bit horrid. Im sure most people would just be kind and let you have it! I know I would!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ good for you

@Workinghardeveryday

But the woman said she would keep it her for snd she made a special trip for it!!!!

I would have definitely let you had it. Suppose I am polite

No she didn’t, OP states explicitly that the shop refused to keep it for her. How is it polite?? Polite means abiding by normal standards of society, the fact that most people here don’t think that’s a reasonable expectation means it’s not actually “polite”.

The only rude/ill mannered part of this is when you spoke to the woman to try to get the bag from her. That is rude. Would you have asked that if a man had picked up the bag?

Would love to see the changing bag in question thats so in demand !

@AngeloMysterioso

Literally all you can think about is yourself!

So wanting to buy a bag in a charity shop = literally all you can think about is yourself?

No, wanting someone who's already chosen it for themselves to hand it over to you is, HTH.

Also, if at least one of these “I’d have given you it #bekind” posters isn’t OP operating under a different user name I’ll eat my fist.

Must have been some bag!

What makes you deserve it over her anymore? They didn't know you wanted it before, her mum probably wasn't purposefully blocking a pathway to stop you getting a bag. They saw it, liked it and took it and within their rights to.
That's the shops rules so like others have said it's just an unfortunate thing of being to late but definitely nothing wrong done by the person who did buy it

@Staffy1

I voted YANBU. I would have given it to you and can understand your disappointment when you had gone back into town just for that bag.

We all can because we had the OP's side of the story, but the other woman in the shop didn't know it was actually true, it could equally have been a new shopper who saw her holding it and fancied it for herself.

@AngeloMysterioso

Can't expect people to be nice, no one is these days.

As evidenced by this thread!

Seriously, I’m the only person who would have not taken it if I’d been her?

If the roles were reversed, and this woman was behind you and said they wanted the bag, but it was the bag you wanted, you would have given it to her? Who's to say she wasn't in town in the week, saw it and thought if it's still there when I'm next in town (maybe they were waiting for some money, or maybe they had their hands full) they would buy it? I doubt she did it to spite you. It's annoying the shop wouldn't hold it for you, even if you'd paid, but it's a charity shop and really is first come first served.

I do feel for you, OP, that's as annoying as shit!

In her shoes I'm not sure what I'd have done as tbh it would depend on how badly I wanted it myself - obviously it would be nice to hand the bag over, but the truth is if it's so good a bargain you've made a special trip just to get it, it's no wonder she was keen too. Very frustrating but you should have taken it on the day if it was that important.