Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my boss can’t ask for pictures of child’s injury

172 replies

Hurtburt · 10/10/2021 18:19

My little boy has just started walking, he hit his eye on a table Sad This happened yesterday and it wasn’t too bad. Today I was due into work but his eye was blood shot, he had a massive black eye and he just looked awful. I told work I needed to take him to the hospital to be checked over. Work at first said okay. Then my boss text to say do I have any pictures of his eye? I feel like that is crossing the line, I’ve been here 5 years. Am I being unreasonable to think they can’t ask this of me?
My manager has now said we will have a meeting tomorrow for a chat

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 10/10/2021 23:51

Any sign of the OP? Nope?

ReginaaPhalange · 11/10/2021 00:06

@Pixxie7

I think they can ask, when I was a student nurse I rang up one day with d and v and was told to produce a sample.
That's different..... that's so infection control can monitor if there is an outbreak on the ward you were working on (if other people ended up getting ill too). That's in the policy when phoning in sick with D&V in my nhs trust.
timeisnotaline · 11/10/2021 00:53

@Pixxie7

I think they can ask, when I was a student nurse I rang up one day with d and v and was told to produce a sample.
They can’t ask for that!! If i’m off work with a bad uti do you think work can ask for a photo of my vulva showing infection signs??? They can ask for a medical certificate that simply states patient attended, and if it’s to sign off for further time ‘and will be unfit to work for 3 days’
timeisnotaline · 11/10/2021 00:54

Oh oops I see the cross post.

1forAll74 · 11/10/2021 01:16

Drop into work with your child for five minutes, and show them the proof.

FrozenoutofCostco · 11/10/2021 02:18

@ArblemarchTFruitbat

Totally pointless as well as unreasonable. I've just googled and found hundreds of pictures under a search for 'child eye injury' so if someone were faking this, the demand for a photo wouldn't be difficult to fulfil.
Until you look at the meta-data for the photo and it tells you it was taken years ago. All digital photographs have this information in within the pixels of the image. On most smartphones, when looking at a picture in the camera roll - swipe up......
Aquamarine1029 · 11/10/2021 02:52

Like hell would I send a photo. They are bullying you.

TasteTheMeatNotTheHeat · 11/10/2021 03:08

Make sure you keep that text of him asking for photographs of your child.

Do you have any evidence of them pestering you about your return whilst you were on mat leave?

I'd start getting all of this evidence together in a folder.

Werehamster · 11/10/2021 03:10

I've heard my coworkers gossiping about people taking time off before, so when my car got broken into and I had to wait for the police, I preempted the gossip by showing a photo of the damage as soon as I arrived at work. Just in a "look how bad the damage was, glass everywhere" kind of way, but I thought it would shut them all up because they may gossip about whether it was true or not. I shouldn't have to, but people do talk about things like that, so I always text a photo as proof because I don't want people talking about me.

Is that weird? Maybe I'm paranoid. Plus, let's face it, people post this kind of stuff on social media all the time, so the privacy aspect doesn't bother me.

MimiDaisy11 · 11/10/2021 03:34

Some managers are great at demotivating employees with things like this. I mean it’s clear the message is that they don’t believe you. Though it seems they’re annoyed at you for having a child and so I wonder if this is deliberate to try to make you feel unwanted there.

Original poster
Hurtburt · 11/10/2021 05:25

Thank you for your replies everyone. It just feels wrong, I definitely looking for another job. They are just people who don’t know what they’re doing, they’re great at business not so much at having employees. This is the first time I’ve taken off to deal with my baby so they just don’t trust me. They don’t trust any employees, we sit in the office with the bosses right next to us and about 8 cameras on us. I do feel they’re annoyed by me having a child, they told me I needed to be retrained 3 weeks before I went on maternity. I unfortunately don’t have any proof of them asking if I would come back earlier. All in all I’m out

OP posts:
Coffeey · 11/10/2021 05:36

we sit in the office with the bosses right next to us and about 8 cameras on us eek! Wondering what on earth they need those for! Unless it's like a diamond factory and their stock keep going missing but even then!

WarriorN · 11/10/2021 05:53

I wonder these women could help, with this and other things.

pregnantthenscrewed.com/

nomoneytreehere · 11/10/2021 11:37

They have got no right to do this so definite eye roll, but honestly, is it really that big a deal to take a close up photo
of your child's eye? I can't imagine being asked for this, but I don't think I would get worked up about it either. What do you think your boss is going to do with the photo. Surely it's easier to just comply with the request than make yourself look like a shirker. They clearly don't believe you so just send the proof and draw a line under it. Unless you can't??!!

janice511 · 11/10/2021 17:35

No to photo, it's a data protection issue, information is yours to be shared on a need to know basis, and that includes photographs. Absolutely not

janj2301 · 11/10/2021 17:35

I work in a GP surgery we often ask pateients to send in phots BUT no faces or private parts, so if your own GP thinks it unwise to send photos of your face, stuff the boss

Kikidoyouloveme66 · 11/10/2021 17:38

I would just send them the photo to make them feel absolutly sh*t about themselves ovb if you are lying then you are not obliged to show them anything. Speak with ACAS if there is no real HR team

Joesmummy1 · 11/10/2021 17:39

Out of order.

To be devil’s advocate though, have you taken time off before for your son? Was your sickness rate higher than others before baby?

Babymama76 · 11/10/2021 17:40

This! The cheek of them. Sounds like they don’t have a clue. They wouldn’t have a leg to stand on if up against an employee who knew their rights.

LoisLane66 · 11/10/2021 17:40

Oh no...no no no no no.
That's going too far.
He's virtually saying that he doesn't believe you.
Nope...he's well out of order.
Have you taken other time off with child centred excuses?
That's the only reason I can think of which might have triggered his request, otherwise why would he ask.
If you were riding a man's bike with a crossbar and slipped when stopping, would he ask to see the person's fanny? 🙄🤭😉

BabsFiddle · 11/10/2021 17:42

I am sure that is an unreasonable request. Agree that it should be put in writing and, under GDPR you can probably refuse. Like another poster here I suggest logging everything you have in writing - particularly things like requests to come back to work early, asking when you were returning during maternity leave etc. If you were dismissed you could have a claim for unfair dismissal. The fact that they have no HR dept. is no excuse. Citizen's advice bureau would be helpful here as to your rights.

LoisLane66 · 11/10/2021 17:42

OTOH you could just take a shot of his eye, really close up and no other part of his face.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 11/10/2021 17:46

@LubaLuca

Take the photo and show the manager the injury. Ask them why they wanted to see it though, and make sure they don't fob you off with some non-answer. Push them into admitting it's because they didn't believe you.

Was it the manager that you spoke to when you first called?

Yes,I would do this,send the pic and ask exactly why they want to see it.
FranceTeam · 11/10/2021 17:55

It is illegal to ask under GDPR, as they are obtaining personal details of a minor.

MeridianB · 11/10/2021 17:59

They sound appalling, OP.

Reply to the ridiculous photo request by asking why they need it.

Personally I’d find a new job ASAP and possibly speak to a lawyer in the meantime. Having no HR manager is no excuse for behaving like medieval employer.