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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think my boss can’t ask for pictures of child’s injury

172 replies

Hurtburt · 10/10/2021 18:19

My little boy has just started walking, he hit his eye on a table Sad This happened yesterday and it wasn’t too bad. Today I was due into work but his eye was blood shot, he had a massive black eye and he just looked awful. I told work I needed to take him to the hospital to be checked over. Work at first said okay. Then my boss text to say do I have any pictures of his eye? I feel like that is crossing the line, I’ve been here 5 years. Am I being unreasonable to think they can’t ask this of me?
My manager has now said we will have a meeting tomorrow for a chat

OP posts:
VenusTiger · 11/10/2021 22:02

@Hurtburt

Our company is a very small company, we don’t have a HR department. They didn’t even know basic maternity rules. I had to send links about pay etc. I do absolutely hate it there so wasn’t sure if I was overreacting. I think this may be the final straw for me
I think it's obvious to them that you hate it there OP - they know. They want rid and let's be honest, so do you. Maybe if you want to prevent a backlash, you show them parts of the hosp admission sheet for your son? Then look for a new job. This will go on and on and on and believe me, you'll be having plenty of time off over the coming years - baby's want their mom usually when they're poorly.
LovelyIssues · 11/10/2021 22:43

@LubaLuca I agree. I would send the photo and ask why they felt like they needed "evidence".

ellyeth · 12/10/2021 00:17

If the only occasion on which you have been away from work was during pregnancy then I think it's a very unreasonable request. I also think they should not have harassed you about returning to work.

I am not sure whether it would be considered good procedure for an employer to request a photo of a child's injury. If they have a problem with your attendance generally, then they should have had a proper discussion with you about it, rather than use this occasion to make what I think is an unreasonable demand.

Pingu32 · 12/10/2021 01:13

@Hurtburt

Thank you for your replies everyone. It just feels wrong, I definitely looking for another job. They are just people who don’t know what they’re doing, they’re great at business not so much at having employees. This is the first time I’ve taken off to deal with my baby so they just don’t trust me. They don’t trust any employees, we sit in the office with the bosses right next to us and about 8 cameras on us. I do feel they’re annoyed by me having a child, they told me I needed to be retrained 3 weeks before I went on maternity. I unfortunately don’t have any proof of them asking if I would come back earlier. All in all I’m out
If they aren't so.much at having enployees, they aren't great at business it's a key resource in business and needs to be treated as such.
me109f · 12/10/2021 02:27

Your boss is checking up on your story. He is entitled to, really, but it is awkward for him, and you. However, it is just your son's eye. If you have a picture show it to him as proof, or get a dated note from your doctor to confirm it.
Unfortunately, many employees make up all sorts of stories to get free time off work. We all know that, all though it is a minority. Years ago I knew a nursing sister who took a whole year off work on NHS full/half pay because she was 'too ill to go into work'. In reality, she spent the time travelling the world on a series of holidays abroad.
I would satisfy your boss's curiosity that your story was genuine, and show him that you are being honest with him. Your sincerity and co-operation will stand you in good standing for the future.

Fluffmum · 12/10/2021 04:10

Take a pic then tell him you’re leaving . They sound dreadful employers tbh

mathanxiety · 12/10/2021 05:59

I would satisfy your boss's curiosity that your story was genuine, and show him that you are being honest with him. Your sincerity and co-operation will stand you in good standing for the future.

@me109f
1 - it's not curiosity, and he has no right to have curiosity satisfied.
2 - satisfying 'curiosity' here would involve sending him a photo of her child.
3 - he forces the OP to work under his watchful eye with cameras trained on her and the other employees. He is not a curious person. He is a person with a serious personality problem and zero management skills.
4 - he can have the hospital visit verified by paying for a certification from the GP.

CatonMat · 12/10/2021 06:09

What a ridiculous and wrong idea.
Absolutely no way on God's green earth would I be pandering to your boss.

TirednWorried · 12/10/2021 08:37

I would tell them i wouldn't br sharing uour child's medical records with them

2Two · 12/10/2021 08:50

How did the meeting go?

The camera thing astonishes me. Are they using them to check you're all working, or what? Who the hell has time to look through hours of camera footage of their employees?

Hurtburt · 12/10/2021 09:15

I didn’t send the picture. , they just asked how my son was. They also asked what I have in place for next time anything like this happens! I said if my son is ill and needs me I won’t hesitate to take the day off. Then my boss said it’s understandable but they have to look out for their company. Asked if I had any questions and let me back to work.

I’ve been talking it out and I think I may just leave and have a break before I start uni in January. I don’t enjoy the job my partner and I have enough money coming in to do so. Thank you everyone for your replies

OP posts:
Hurtburt · 12/10/2021 09:18

The big boss sits upstairs and watches the cameras. They say they need to film everywhere due to the stock we have but it’s nothing valuable they just like to micromanage

OP posts:
anon666 · 12/10/2021 09:47

It sounds like they don't know what they are doing HR wise. You can get leaflets for them to let them know your rights, in a non confrontational way. Perversely it sounds like they don't want to lose you - if you're so essential that you're being hounded like this.

sue20 · 12/10/2021 10:30

@Hurtburt

My little boy has just started walking, he hit his eye on a table Sad This happened yesterday and it wasn’t too bad. Today I was due into work but his eye was blood shot, he had a massive black eye and he just looked awful. I told work I needed to take him to the hospital to be checked over. Work at first said okay. Then my boss text to say do I have any pictures of his eye? I feel like that is crossing the line, I’ve been here 5 years. Am I being unreasonable to think they can’t ask this of me? My manager has now said we will have a meeting tomorrow for a chat
This is outrageous. If you need a report ask for note from doctor. Giving any body pictures of your children without wanting to raises all sorts of consent issues what are they thinking? Regardless of your work background!!!
Mamamamasaurus · 12/10/2021 10:44

I haven't RTFT but at a push, you could get an 'attendance certificate' (they may be called something different now or in different areas) to show who was at which hospital.

Arseholes

ChelleMum85 · 12/10/2021 11:48

@Hurtburt

My little boy has just started walking, he hit his eye on a table Sad This happened yesterday and it wasn’t too bad. Today I was due into work but his eye was blood shot, he had a massive black eye and he just looked awful. I told work I needed to take him to the hospital to be checked over. Work at first said okay. Then my boss text to say do I have any pictures of his eye? I feel like that is crossing the line, I’ve been here 5 years. Am I being unreasonable to think they can’t ask this of me? My manager has now said we will have a meeting tomorrow for a chat
You need to contact ACAS and your Union! This is a breech of GDPR, intrusion on privacy, asking for photo of a minor etc...they are breaking all sorts of rules and laws! I work for the DWP, so when I say contact ACAS - Do it!
jakkijax · 12/10/2021 13:41

Defiantly do not send the photo. Submit evidence of hospital/gp visit. That is all that should be needed. If they insist show them a photo but don't let them keep it... also make a note of this behaviour incase it escalated. Even if as some question there's a back story. Still doesn't give them the right to a photo of your child.

robofw9 · 12/10/2021 15:48

Not quite the OP's query, but if the employers using CCTV, they need to comply with this:
www.businesswatchgroup.co.uk/gdpr-and-cctv-a-guide-to-the-laws-of-cctv-in-the-workplace/
Including nominating a data controller, registering with the ICO, consulting staff, writing a policy saying exactly why the CCTV is being used, stating how long any data will be held etc etc etc.
And I suspect allowing the big boss to spy from above is not a compliant data policy.

Just an idle thought...

2Two · 12/10/2021 23:40

@Hurtburt

The big boss sits upstairs and watches the cameras. They say they need to film everywhere due to the stock we have but it’s nothing valuable they just like to micromanage
What a ridiculous waste of his time.
ellyeth · 13/10/2021 00:47

They sound like dreadful employers and as you say you are not in dire need of the money, I think the best thing to do is to leave. It's appalling that people are treated like this and I feel sorry for anyone working there.

me109f · 13/10/2021 01:33

I read this that you just had to show a picture of your child. Of course you would not give him a picture.
Obviously if your boss or manager were mentally strange or pervy you should refuse, but this was not said in your original statement.
If there is an HR dept, voice your doubts there, otherwise tell them to their face why you are refusing. As I said, a doctors note should be sufficient and would avoid all this fuss.

Newbabynewhouse · 13/10/2021 15:02

Even if there is a backstory... I think this is still unreasonable ..I bet your contract doesn't say you need photographic proof of any injuries when you have time off.....!!!? It doesn't matter if the OP does have a lot of time off, she should not be asked for it..

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