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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my boss can’t ask for pictures of child’s injury

172 replies

Hurtburt · 10/10/2021 18:19

My little boy has just started walking, he hit his eye on a table Sad This happened yesterday and it wasn’t too bad. Today I was due into work but his eye was blood shot, he had a massive black eye and he just looked awful. I told work I needed to take him to the hospital to be checked over. Work at first said okay. Then my boss text to say do I have any pictures of his eye? I feel like that is crossing the line, I’ve been here 5 years. Am I being unreasonable to think they can’t ask this of me?
My manager has now said we will have a meeting tomorrow for a chat

OP posts:
dapsnotplimsolls · 10/10/2021 19:08

What happened at the hospital?

TrainforSpeed · 10/10/2021 19:10

If this is a one off that's outrageous. The only response is "poor thing, I hope it's nothing too serious, thinking of you all".

If you have a lot of child related absence, it might be different, but asking for pictures isn't the answer.

Knitwit101 · 10/10/2021 19:11

I hope your ds is ok. That sounds like a scary injury so close to his eye

Evenstar · 10/10/2021 19:13

I think you should insist on someone else being present for this “chat” I presume there isn’t a union, I would recommend a union rep if that is available to you.

Monkeymilkshake · 10/10/2021 19:21

I’d just reply “no picture, just a note from the doctor attached”.
You should keep a record of these emails/demands just in case.

Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov · 10/10/2021 19:22

You should have lied and said it happened this morning. I think the fact it happened yesterday and you weren't worried enough to go to hospital is probably what has them suspicious but you definitely don't need to send them a picture of your child

mathanxiety · 10/10/2021 19:28

Absolutely no to the photo.

What if it was a UTI or an injury to the bottom?

Tell your boss he can pay for a doctor's letter verifying the injury and the related hospital visit, but your child's image is not going to be shared for any reason, especially not a reason he isn't entitled to use.

You should start looking for another job.

tickledtiger · 10/10/2021 19:34

No they are certainly not allowed to ask for photos of your childHmm

Nocutenamesleft · 10/10/2021 19:36

No. They have no legal right to see a picture of your child

They’re under the age of 18. They haven’t given their permission. Nor do you have too

I can’t believe some people are saying to show them a photo. Don’t you dare! It’s outrageous that they’ve asked so

Regularsizedrudy · 10/10/2021 19:45

He absolutely cannot ask that! Your child is not his employee so his health is none of his bloody business! You need time off to care for your child, it can be unpaid if needs be. end of discussion.

FFSFFSFFS · 10/10/2021 19:52

Don’t let them bully you out without consequences for them!

marykitty · 10/10/2021 19:52

It's not clear from your post, did you actually go to the hospital at the end? If yes, they normally provide a "certificate" and this is what I submit to my boss.

But he would never dare to ask for photos Confused

Lightswitch123 · 10/10/2021 20:02

@Sweetmotherofallthatisholyabov

You should have lied and said it happened this morning. I think the fact it happened yesterday and you weren't worried enough to go to hospital is probably what has them suspicious but you definitely don't need to send them a picture of your child
Oh yes v good point- why didn't you take your chils yesterday? Then could have all been sorted and you would have had no issues at all with work Hmm
MrsSkylerWhite · 10/10/2021 20:04

Out of order. Say no.

MrsSkylerWhite · 10/10/2021 20:06

Lightswitch123

Oh yes v good point- why didn't you take your chils yesterday? Then could have all been sorted and you would have had no issues at all with work hmm“

Read the post. Because it didn’t look bad yesterday. It does today 🙄

NekoShiro · 10/10/2021 20:36

My partner is epileptic and I'm his carer, my work told me that they could not ask me for proof of my partners medical condition as I am employed by them, not him. If you don't feel comfortable with showing them a photo then tell them that.

A meeting after taking a day off for dependants is totally normal though. They're like return to work meeting after an illness.

ArblemarchTFruitbat · 10/10/2021 20:40

Totally pointless as well as unreasonable. I've just googled and found hundreds of pictures under a search for 'child eye injury' so if someone were faking this, the demand for a photo wouldn't be difficult to fulfil.

LastStarfighter · 10/10/2021 20:46

@ArblemarchTFruitbat

Totally pointless as well as unreasonable. I've just googled and found hundreds of pictures under a search for 'child eye injury' so if someone were faking this, the demand for a photo wouldn't be difficult to fulfil.
Would be a bit transparent though. If they are so suspicious that they are asking for a photo then I’m sure they’d have no problem with a reverse image search.
Buttercup54321 · 10/10/2021 20:53

I would say
" Are you asking me to photograph a body part of a child? This is highly irregular and not in the best interests of the child."
Then mention safe guarding.
They are massively over stepping the line.

Truthseeker456 · 10/10/2021 20:58

Were you off for the whole of your pregnancy

greyinganddecaying · 10/10/2021 21:02

@Truthseeker456

Were you off for the whole of your pregnancy

Why would that make a difference? If the OP was signed off work that makes no difference to the current situation.

Flowersintheattic2021 · 10/10/2021 21:03

3 years ago u was very ill with tonsillitis I couldn't even tolerate light I was very ill. Rang sick at work and said I was going to gp. The manager asked for proof of prescription for my anti biotics Confused. She left other year and this has never been asked again

Flowersintheattic2021 · 10/10/2021 21:03

BTW I'm never of sick

Truthseeker456 · 10/10/2021 21:06

I knew someone should say that but I think adds context to why they may be asking for proof . It seems very strange ( maybe I'm naive) that someone would ask for proof of a child's injury without a significant history of taking time off. I realise pregnancy related is exempt but helps to understand why someone would do this

PurpleOkapi · 10/10/2021 21:08

It depends on what sort of leave you're using, and on the company's policies. If your absence wouldn't have been excused but for the fact that it was a medical emergency, then asking for proof of the emergency is reasonable. They shouldn't need pictures of your child, though. If you offer to send them something from the hospital with your child's name on it, that should be enough.