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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my boss can’t ask for pictures of child’s injury

172 replies

Hurtburt · 10/10/2021 18:19

My little boy has just started walking, he hit his eye on a table Sad This happened yesterday and it wasn’t too bad. Today I was due into work but his eye was blood shot, he had a massive black eye and he just looked awful. I told work I needed to take him to the hospital to be checked over. Work at first said okay. Then my boss text to say do I have any pictures of his eye? I feel like that is crossing the line, I’ve been here 5 years. Am I being unreasonable to think they can’t ask this of me?
My manager has now said we will have a meeting tomorrow for a chat

OP posts:
ERFFER · 11/10/2021 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HangOnToYourself · 11/10/2021 18:01

I'd ask them to formalise the request in an email, if they believe this is a reasonable request they should have no issue doing so. Also state you wish a witness to be present during your "chat"

MeridianB · 11/10/2021 18:01

Also, they’re definitely not ‘great at business’ if they’re behaving like this.

People are the most important assets in pretty much any business.

They sound lucky not to have been sued already,

Mollymoostoo · 11/10/2021 18:02

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

MeridianB · 11/10/2021 18:02

@HangOnToYourself

I'd ask them to formalise the request in an email, if they believe this is a reasonable request they should have no issue doing so. Also state you wish a witness to be present during your "chat"
This is good advice. Get everything in writing and if they call you ask them to confirm it in an email after.
Mollymoostoo · 11/10/2021 18:05

No you don't have to share a photo as proof. Join a union...

Mollymoostoo · 11/10/2021 18:05

@HangOnToYourself

I'd ask them to formalise the request in an email, if they believe this is a reasonable request they should have no issue doing so. Also state you wish a witness to be present during your "chat"
Add to this that the email is for your union representative. See how quick they back down.
caspersmagicaljourney · 11/10/2021 18:12

@FFSFFSFFS

Don’t let them bully you out without consequences for them!
I agree. What's more, ensure that the consequences for them is that you find another job. They don't seem to be very competent employers.🤨
minimecantrollerskate · 11/10/2021 18:13

I have seen this a lot with small businesses and seen sick and pregnant staff hounded out by old fashioned bosses usually male who don't want to pay you for nothing. I can understand that SSP costs them, but SMP doesn't as they claim it back from the Government. They had no right at all to hound you when you were on ML.

You have the right to the time off, but it will be unpaid.

They are basically calling you a liar by asking you for a photo and they have no right to demand one. I would not provide one. If they were to sack you over it, then I think the law would be on your side in any tribunal.

if you want to check your rights then ring ACAS

www.acas.org.uk/

Suzanne999 · 11/10/2021 18:19

@3scape

On that note stay very calm. Submit nothing. When they ask again, say you need the request in writing as it is unusual.
I’d agree with, and do this. Make them put their ( bizarre) request in writing.
TrufflesAndToast · 11/10/2021 18:21

You’re doing the right thing looking to leave - they sound like a nightmare common to work for as a parent. I’m all for not taking the piss but anyone with small children will occasionally have incidents like this but given what you’ve said about how they approached your mat leave they won’t extend the usual reasonable flexibility that an employer should and you’ll face one miserable battle after another. Time to move on for sure. Good luck!

TrufflesAndToast · 11/10/2021 18:21

Company that should say, not common.

Busymummylady · 11/10/2021 18:21

This is nothing to do with your employer and you do not have sole rights to your child and so for child protection you cannot release such personal information.

You can however get confirmation and discharge notes from the hospital and provide it to your employer, proving you were there or yiu can ask him to provide where this is compliant with policy and employment legislation first and go from there.

Feeasco · 11/10/2021 18:22

Do all employees have to provide evidence? Is it a company policy?
I would show a pic but have a discussion about why you're being asked.
I work for a small company and to be honest, when someone is absent it places pressure on existing staff.
If I was an employer I would want proof of a claimed illness and have it in work contracts. My work experiences have shown me that not all employees are honest.

suzanneinfo · 11/10/2021 18:24

Yikes. If your company aren't great on HR was possibly not the most thought through request. I know your wee one is very little and can't give consent and this age it's your decision. Our DS had a similar injury when he was just over three. He went nuts when we tried to take a pic to show his granny. I certainly wouldn't have been making him have a photo taken for any reason. What everyone reasonable is saying- there's a hospital note. I'd make it clear you are sharing it willingly if you're happy to do so. You have a right to privacy and so does your child. Alternative is to suck it up, give them want they want for a quiet Ife but uanbu. In that case check if your employer has a GDPR obligation (depends on Monday number of employees) and request proof the image has been destroyed once it is used for this and only this. Personally I'd say no.

Arepeoplereallycoolaboutthis · 11/10/2021 18:26

Some employers/HR are so ridiculous and forget life goes on outside of work!

I like this advice as suggested by poster above:

"I'd ask them to formalise the request in an email, if they believe this is a reasonable request they should have no issue doing so. Also state you wish a witness to be present during your "chat"

Lolapusht · 11/10/2021 18:27

@Hurtburt

Thank you for your replies everyone. It just feels wrong, I definitely looking for another job. They are just people who don’t know what they’re doing, they’re great at business not so much at having employees. This is the first time I’ve taken off to deal with my baby so they just don’t trust me. They don’t trust any employees, we sit in the office with the bosses right next to us and about 8 cameras on us. I do feel they’re annoyed by me having a child, they told me I needed to be retrained 3 weeks before I went on maternity. I unfortunately don’t have any proof of them asking if I would come back earlier. All in all I’m out
They sound pretty much useless at the whole employer thing! They can’t ask you for a photograph of your child and I’m pretty much sure they shouldn’t be filming you either. If it’s a small business, why do they need 8 cameras on you? How many people work there and what on Earth is their justification for doing it?! They need to have a legitimate business reason before they can film employees so you would need to be working on a pretty niche environment to make it justified. Have you googled when CCTV is permitted in the workplace? I usually love small businesses, but these types of gits can be a problem. House insurance usually covers you to speak to an employment lawyer should you wish to take them to a tribunal.
felizdia · 11/10/2021 18:31

When I had my first child, I called in to say he was poorly and I wouldn't be able to come in, my manager tipped me off and warned me to never say that my child was ill, only me, that way I would get full pay and not be penalised for the time off. I was working in education for the local council!

IrishMel · 11/10/2021 18:32

You do not have to do this. You are entitled to 'force majure' days. Not sure if you are in the uk but here in Ireland it is 3 days per year and 5 in 2years. You only have to ring in the morning if a family member is ill and say you are taking one of those days which you have to get paid for. Just get something from the doctor/hospital which states injuries. I would not send a photo. You have worked there 5 years and this is how they treat you. Go and check out citizens information website employment law section or ring them. You will see your employer is way out of line. Hope your little boy is ok. He needs his mum as he must have been in agony.

angela99999 · 11/10/2021 18:36

If I were you I'd be hoping for redundancy. Don't jump, wait until you're pushed. If they sack you unfairly they have to compensate you, as they do If they make it impossible for you to stay ("Constructive Dismissal").
Join a union NOW.

purplebunny2012 · 11/10/2021 18:37

@whynotwhatknot

Sounds like they dont know their arse from their elbow

they dont know about emplyment law and never shoud have rung you on mat leave asking if you were coming back early

I'm shocked they are actually allowed to run a business without educating themselves on basic employee rights. I wouldn't be sticking around
suzanneinfo · 11/10/2021 18:38

Disagreeing with GDPR. If the company has a duty to report under legislation by requesting an image there is an implication that it will be stored and there needs to be an assurance as to why it needs to be stored, how it will stored and when it will be disposed of..

HollowTalk · 11/10/2021 18:40

How can they justify videoing you at work?

Morgysmum · 11/10/2021 18:41

It's maybe, because they thought it wasn't too bad, it's a bit odd, but I guess they have had people pulling a fast one.
I would have taken him, to see if you could get a emergency opticians appointment, as the know more about the eye, then a gp, my son fell and bumped his front teeth on a step, I was concerned about any damage to is teeth, I took him to doctor, who said it was better for him to see a dentist, as they can advise on any problem with his teeth, more than they could, if would have saved yoy been sat in A and E for ages.

suzanneinfo · 11/10/2021 18:43

@TrainforSpeed

If this is a one off that's outrageous. The only response is "poor thing, I hope it's nothing too serious, thinking of you all".

If you have a lot of child related absence, it might be different, but asking for pictures isn't the answer.

Why? If there was an ongoing issue there would be a HR process alongside it. Kids get sick, have bumps.
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