What is something you've had to make peace with never having?

[BobbiPinsOn]

a good singing voice

Lovely manageable hair that looks decent most of the time.

Have spent a fortune over the years on products, colouring and styling to no avail. Fine, flyaway hair that looks good until I leave home and especially if the weather is damp or drizzly.

Like winning millions on the lottery, it'll never happen.

This thread is acting like a gratitude list for me, for all the things I probably take for granted yet other people would love to have.

I was going to say children without mental health issues but then I think about my sparkling, complex, delightful girls and I can't really wish they were different to the people they are.

There might be days where I wish they were well, but that's different.

A period house with a big garden in the country. Except also I know people who have those and I'm not sure it adds much to their quality of life. It adds but subtracts in equal measure from my viewpoint - expensive bills, repairs and upgrades for invisible stuff like septic tanks, gas storage, stress and hard work of looking after a money pit, maintenance of a huge garden. 😂😂 I'm too lazy for all that.

@MrsFin

Nice legs.

I'd love a good pair of pins, too...

@doi3456

A good singing voice here too! i really love singing and it feels like it is in my very soul, but the sound of my voice would make you want to do rip your very eyeballs out. It is quite heartbreaking! Everytime I start to sing I have to stop myself to protect other people's mental health, while I die a little inside.

The other thing is cashmere loungewear at the moment.

I used to have singing lessons and one of the first tips I can give you is to pop a piece of cotton wool in your ear.

You'll hear your singing voice much more clearly and hear where you're going 'wrong'; flat, out of tune, etc.
And picking the 'right' song helps too; some songs just won't suit your voice.

I'd love to be able to sing like KD Lang, but alas, I have to settle for little old me, instead.

I can do a decent bit of Karaoke, but I'm not a natural singer, in the slightest. I have to practice.

Give it a go! 👍

A long term relationship...

All dates appear to end in the man getting a "friendship vibe" from me. I'm really not ugly either so not a brush off on that basis. It feels like unless I act the pouty sexy woman, then I'm not flirting 🤦🏻‍♀️(are there flirting classes I can attend? :/)

Parents that weren’t abusive or alcoholic
Also a driving license, but I want to tell you all a secret, I was 49 yesterday and i have started having lessons and I think I might actually realise this one 🤞

A big bum.

I don't think I've actually made peace with it. I'm awfully jealous when I see women with nice big bums but then I do have nice big boobs. So can't have it all I guess.

@ThatDamnedDog

Parents that weren’t abusive or alcoholic Also a driving license, but I want to tell you all a secret, I was 49 yesterday and i have started having lessons and I think I might actually realise this one 🤞

Good luck. You can do it!! 🤞

@WakeMeUpin22

A big bum.

I don't think I've actually made peace with it. I'm awfully jealous when I see women with nice big bums but then I do have nice big boobs. So can't have it all I guess.

If it's any consolation, mine's bigger. I don't need to meet you to know this is true.

@ThatDamnedDog

Parents that weren’t abusive or alcoholic Also a driving license, but I want to tell you all a secret, I was 49 yesterday and i have started having lessons and I think I might actually realise this one 🤞

Good luck and well done. I'm 51 and don't drive. My anxiety is too bad now.

True love. My relationships have always been one way with me putting everything into it.
Can't recall ever even being wined and dined.
No birthday/ Xmas presents let alone little surprises. I just want to love and be loved back. I'm talking to an old flame. It didn't work out last time because we were still getting over the fall out of previous LTR involving our dc, houses etc. We remained friends over the years. DC all grown now, subsequent relationships over and we have another chance - but both of us are skirting around it.
All I want is a shot of happiness, contentment, trust, companionship and lots of sex please!

@KurtWilde

A house in the countryside with a bit of land for a decent veggie patch, a few ducks, chickens, maybe a pig, a pony. preferably run down so I can work on it.

Are you me? This is exactly what I want in life. Plus a donkey

Also, a Father that wasn't abusive and a mother that wasn't an enabler. I wish I had had a loving Dad.

A competent government who aren't nasty and corrupt.

@WakeMeUpin22 get padded knickers. I kid you not. Totally transformed my confidence in clothes, jeans particularly.

A sibling that I have a close bond with. But the relationship between my dds makes up for it. I know they can rely on each other.

A clean kitchen floor (dog).

A horse as an adult. I had horses growing up and couldn't imagine life without one. I don't even ride now and I don't really miss it. I enjoy a horse snuggle when I meet one though.

Nice legs

[quote Suspicioussam]@WakeMeUpin22 get padded knickers. I kid you not. Totally transformed my confidence in clothes, jeans particularly.[/quote]
I have never heard of this before. Sounds amazing though.

Flat lower abdominals and smooth skin in that same area.

I've had three kids with two of them c-sections with the last one born 20 years ago.
My skin is stretch-marked to hell and no matter how many exercises I do or stretch mark creams I use, and trust me, I've done many over the 20 years, it's never going to be flat again.

I'd like to add that I am grateful for the pregnancies and the healthy kids despite the stretch marks and c-sections. It was worth it.

A loving father who supported me and taught me to value myself

I agree about the loving father too.

My dad was lovely when I was little, live around the corner never bothers with me or the kids ever. Used to call in on the kids when they were little but now they aren’t at that cute stage not interested in them whatsoever.

Wow - this thread has been a right eye opener. I have lots of things on this thread that people wanted. I am really grateful as I can lean on the negative side. Thanks for starting this thread OP.

I don't have thick hair and I am not rich but not poor either now. I do have a big bum that I could balance a cup of tea on haha!

@CherryBlossomWinter

A daughter

Marriage to a man who really loved me

A father who cared for me

A secure childhood

Children who don’t have severe disabilties (although they are fantastic, obviously wouldn’t swap them for the world! I feel guilty in feeling this. But looking at parents with kids without that kind of ‘severity’ (don’t know what else to call it, who don’t have the same relentless care or fears for the future, who can see their kids into independence, that’s something I’ve had to make peace with)

I have 2 boys both on the spectrum. Eldest is 13 severe autism and non-verbal.

It’s something tbh I don’t know if I will ever make peace with.
It’s hurts everyday to see typical children doing typical things especially when they are around same age as my son.

Another child, due to infertility. I am at peace with it most of the time but other people love going on about it and asking when/why/how!

To be beautiful or at the least pretty