What is something you've had to make peace with never having?

[BobbiPinsOn]

a good singing voice

@IncyWincyGrownUp

A peaceful mind. There’s always noise, a constant stream of consciousness and activity. It’s exhausting - there is never internal quiet.

Love.

I can so relate. Sending you hugs

A marriage to someone who really loved me

A second child

Sounds awful but I wish I'd had more sexual partners before settling down.

Neurotypical children
A daughter

A fairytale romance.

Ha Ha Squirrels, came on to say Mr Frosty!

a career (but most people seem to not particularly enjoy work, so I don't really mind.)

A daughter

Marriage to a man who really loved me

A father who cared for me

A secure childhood

Children who don’t have severe disabilties (although they are fantastic, obviously wouldn’t swap them for the world! I feel guilty in feeling this. But looking at parents with kids without that kind of ‘severity’ (don’t know what else to call it, who don’t have the same relentless care or fears for the future, who can see their kids into independence, that’s something I’ve had to make peace with)

[quote Libraryghost]@GlomOfNit I thought I knew what autism was and then I met a family with a severely autistic child and witnessed how incredibly difficult it was for the family to manage. Like your family there was a lot of love but you could see how wearing, worrying and exhausting it was. Severe autism is a tough one to make peace with. Sending best wishes[/quote]
Yes also sending @GlomOfNit I find that having a severely disabled child has alienated a lot of people, some also have kids with SN but not as severe, and people don’t want to know how tough it is, it’s like being a pariah. So it’s lovely to read @Libraryghost that there are people like you who are not afraid to visit and have compassion.

A really caring loving mum.

A long term partner

My own bought house to leave my children when I am not here. When I could get a mortgage I couldn't afford a flat /home big enough for me and my two children . Then I got ill and got into debt and definitely wouldnt get one now . I do have a council house though that I waited a very long time for , so grateful for that ..

A caring, non-toxic mother.

Local family, they’ve all moved away.

A happy family with exDH (we do have kids but I’ve had to bring them up single-handedly).

A decent relationship. Two selfish ex’s, I don’t think I’ll ever have a good relationship again - I just attract the wrong sort and don’t trust my own judgement anymore.

General happiness, life for me is just existing now.

A father for my DCs.

Either of my parents loving me

Being taller than I am - I wanted to be 5 6 or so. I am 5 2

So many things:
more children
dream house
the 2 main ones

Being super rich ,I'm very happy here in Spain at 77 with a Spanish speaking only lady friend of 56, We live very well on my pensions , and altough our small casita is hygienic but cluttered we enjoy it , so what if the garden is unkempt & animals enjoy it ,why worry abour a bit if dust when you could be enjoying yourselves , as a new English friend said 2 weeks ago , it's up to you to live life the way you want .Many Spanish friends ( lots of those & a beautiful Lithuanian family ) friends galore no racism .Could go on for hours 😁😁😁😁. Bye bye all enjoy life !

@Glassofshloer

Sorry I’ve brought down the mood of your thread really early

I’m with you on that one! Mine resents having us and it’s all about her. Luckily I’ve the best inlaws!

Getting married to my partner if 20yrs

For those of you with DC with severe autism I totally get you I teach DC with severe autism and GDDs. It’s very tough I’m looking at my arms & legs covered in bruises today but I have a week off now, you never do. If I can make life a tiny bit easier for parents I will do, I adore my job and my pupils. I just wanted you to know there’s people who live your DC just the way they are

@Glassofshloer

A loving mum.

I was going to say the same thing

Sending hugs.

Nice teeth.

Self esteem. I am slowly accepting that the problem lies within me and that no-one will ever love me enough to fill a fundamental hole in my self worth that formed when I was a little child.

I have insight which is good. I know it's irrational, which can help. But all the best practice and gratitude journalling etc in the world will never make me feel confident, trusting, safe and sufficient. Not really. All. I can do is (try!) to fake it enough not to ruin all my relationships with neediness and anxiety.

It's hard to accept but after 36 years I think I need to.

Winning Euromillions numbers ... Oh well!