Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Today is a big birthday and my husband forgot

306 replies

Kk789 · 08/10/2021 18:44

Today is a milestone birthday and my husband forgot. He remembered at 6pm and said sorry but we couldn't do anything anyway because of covid.

I feel really sad about it actually because we do usually do birthdays, not so much big presents but we make it a nice day

Feel pretty low :(

OP posts:
Kk789 · 08/10/2021 20:33

@user6598

Did he not notice any other birthday cards, do you stand them up
I think that's when he noticed after work to be honest with you! It was 6pm when we both were home at the same time after work
OP posts:
Youdoyoutoday · 08/10/2021 20:33

@saraclara OMG yes so much victim blaming!! It's so pathetic!

Travis1 · 08/10/2021 20:34

@Kk789

Do people really think I should have told my husband I wanted a card on my 40th birthday?
No. Not at all. It’s common sense. Hope you have a nice night with friends tomorrow. I really would consider leaving it him at home
LadyMuckington · 08/10/2021 20:34

@Kk789

Do people really think I should have told my husband I wanted a card on my 40th birthday?
No! If you expected a birthday party or a trip abroad then yeah maybe you should have spoken about it because he’s not a mind reader but a birthday card and a coffee with a kiss on the head are absolute minimal IMO
ejhhhhh · 08/10/2021 20:35

You know what I'd do if my OH forgot my birthday. I'd make him book and pay for a nice Spa break, this very evening, for as soon as humanly possible. And he isn't allowed to go. Let him stay at home looking after the kids. But then I'd love that, it might not be your bag, but I'd certainly be expecting him to do something, and NOW.

AnotherLauraLou · 08/10/2021 20:36

@Kk789

Do people really think I should have told my husband I wanted a card on my 40th birthday?
No, some people just have low expectations.

Don’t pretend that he remembered when you go out with your friends. And make sure you forget his next birthday, seeing as that’s what you’re doing now, right?

Loveshelly · 08/10/2021 20:37

I think the pathetic COVID excuse is the worst part of it.
If you’ve forgotten because you’re stressed and work etc fine (though not really)
But just to shrug your shoulders and say covid. Well that’s pretty fucking shocking

KT727 · 08/10/2021 20:37

@ejhhhhh

You know what I'd do if my OH forgot my birthday. I'd make him book and pay for a nice Spa break, this very evening, for as soon as humanly possible. And he isn't allowed to go. Let him stay at home looking after the kids. But then I'd love that, it might not be your bag, but I'd certainly be expecting him to do something, and NOW.
Ejhhhhh's idea sounds like a good one. Happy Birthday op!
mydogisthebest · 08/10/2021 20:38

I don't understand how you can forget the date of your OH's birthday. I have a terrible memory and, to be honest, DH's is even worse but neither of us forget each other's birthday.

It's my DH's birthday at the end of the month and I have been planning it for a couple of weeks - booking a hotel, theatre, restaurants etc. It's not even a big birthday

ejhhhhh · 08/10/2021 20:39

I agree @Loveshelly, his response to forgetting is just the worst. I'd be livid!

2018SoFarSoGreat · 08/10/2021 20:39

happy birthday, OP - I share your special (or not so special in your case, sorry to say) day. You treat yourself; really. Do what feels like a real treat for yourself now, and pick an amazing present that you will look back on in years to come and remember THAT. Not your (not)DH!

FellInLoveWithABanana · 08/10/2021 20:39

There is no need to have to spell out to your HUSBAND that you want a birthday card. What utter nonsense.

Happy birthday xxx

AndTime · 08/10/2021 20:39

It's so bizarre that this birthday hasn't been spoken about in the run up to your plans tomorrow.

He's a jerk.

WildFlowerBees · 08/10/2021 20:41

Happy Birthday! @Kk789 I don't subscribe to its 'just a birthday' it's the one day of the year it's all about you, celebrating you.

Get yourself a drink and be good to yourself that fucker can fend for himself tonight.

ejhhhhh · 08/10/2021 20:41

It has been spoken about, read the OPs posts! He just forgot. He is just a jerk.

Brefugee · 08/10/2021 20:41

Happy birthday, OP. I hope you have a great time tomorrow (have you uninvited your H yet?)

Lots of men forget special days, or suddenly remember them in a few weeks time.!

since the NAMALT brigade seem to have vanished now we're not talking about VAWAG I'll say it: NOT ALL MEN ARE LIKE THAT.

Lochroy · 08/10/2021 20:41

I'm so sorry you've had a crap birthday, especially a milestone one. But it just reminds me of DM who spent more than 40 years waiting for DF to suddenly magically realise what she wanted to be done, day in, day out. Please, for your own sanity, just tell him in future next time. Remind him every day and you'll get exactly what you want.

YukoandHiro · 08/10/2021 20:41

Happy birthday! That's completely crap. But also the sort of thing my DH would do if I didn't bang on about it for months in advance to make sure it didn't happen.

Covid is a shit excuse. Everything is open now! Unless you're both CEV and choosing to continue shielding - in which case frankly he should have made even more of an effort to make it special.

NorthSouthcatlady · 08/10/2021 20:41

@GoingOutOutNEVER same, l had to check in case it was a zombie thread

KurtWilde · 08/10/2021 20:43

Confused as to what Covid has to do with it Confused

antoniawhite · 08/10/2021 20:43

Also I’d ignore rainbowmash - there’s always someone who wants to be mean.

whatisheupto · 08/10/2021 20:44

Bullshit he forgot OP. He just doesn't really give a shit. Do yourself a favour and make it your best birthday ever by leaving the twat.
If he had genuinely forgotten he would have scrambled a bit more to try and do something... eg whizzing to get wine and chocs or takeaway.

I think you know this too. I'm sorry OP but you don't need to put up with it any more. Tomorrow is the first day of the rest of your life.

Happy Birthday.

Kk789 · 08/10/2021 20:49

You're all so nice. I'm glad I posted now. I'm so grateful of the handhold everyone thank you

OP posts:
Grumpylate20s · 08/10/2021 20:50

Absolutely appaling behaviour, adding my 2 pence here but how can anyone significant other say they forgot. Has his feelings about you changed, sounds like that spark needs to be lit again because you're clearly not a priority for him anymore which totally sucks. Sympathy and best wishes on your milestone birthday 🎂

Loveshelly · 08/10/2021 20:51

Has he not made it up a bit! Like pop out and get a bottle of champs?! Or at least pour you a wine and a bath

Swipe left for the next trending thread