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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Naked toddler in swimming pool showers

338 replies

Noodella18 · 08/10/2021 14:35

I take my 2 year old swimming on Fridays. After the session we take a shower in the communal showers, next to the lockers and by the entrance to the pool. I didn't think twice about stripping off her swimming costume to wash her but the lifeguard told me today that she wasn't allowed to be nude 'because it's a public area' and she had to keep it on. Am I being naive in thinking that a naked two year old is really no big deal?

Yanbu - no harm in a naked 2 year old
Yabu - keep the cossie on

OP posts:
Lockdownbear · 10/10/2021 14:41

@Blossomtoes if photos were as harmless as you think they are the police wouldn't go tracking down peados with thousands of images on computers.
Nor would that mother and her exlover have gone to jail.

Simonjt · 10/10/2021 15:15

Someone being so unconcerned about images of child makes me quite suspicious to be honest. Why would someone defend such images in such a heavy way and portray them as harmless unless they had certain motives.

pelosi · 10/10/2021 15:19

@Idontlike

It really is no big deal to the majority of people.

It’s a huge, and thrilling, ordeal for anyone in the area who happens to be a attracted to children unfortunately.

Ordeal? Strange choice of word. Almost like we have to protect those people?
DrSbaitso · 10/10/2021 15:19

@Blossomtoes

You know that if you say something daft, you can just say "Actually, scratch that. I've reconsidered"?

I haven’t said that, have I? The daftest thing here is your introduction of people with dementia.

No, you haven't, that's the point. I'm explaining that if you say something daft without thinking it through, which is the kindest explanation for your assertion that it's fine to share child porn if the kids never know about it, you can indeed say this and retract it.

Instead you're doubling down on it - terrifying - and refusing to answer questions about other cases when someone wouldn't know that they're being exploited publicly in gross terms.

I know none of us like to admit to being wrong or saying something silly on the Internet but seriously, this is a hill you're prepared to die on? I hope you're not going to carry on arguing about the supposed equal blame of an OW in an affair on all the infidelity threads if you're fine with this!

DrSbaitso · 10/10/2021 15:24

@Simonjt

Someone being so unconcerned about images of child makes me quite suspicious to be honest. Why would someone defend such images in such a heavy way and portray them as harmless unless they had certain motives.
This poster has said some weird things before and misses basic points very frequently. I don't mean in that facetious Internet way, I mean like right now, when I said she could retract that statement and she responded with "but I haven't, a ha, therefore I win!" or whatever.

I've been wondering for a while and I think the point has just been tipped. Something is not quite right. It may or may not be intentional but...something is up.

SW1amp · 10/10/2021 15:32

@Skyla2005

But there is a world of difference between a video of a child being abused, whichever country it is made in, and a blurry picture of a child in a public place building a sandcastle with its mum with its bum visible
The latter is not a photo of child abuse, even if some absolute sicko wants to wank over it

But posters on here seem to think any photo of any child is tantamount to that child being abused
I’m failing to see that as the case, I’m afraid

(And if you read my post, I did say my son was in a rash suit throughout the holiday so this isn’t me trying to clear my conscience. I just genuinely don’t understand how only British toddlers are at this terrible risk when the rest of Europe seems to be happy to let kids place naked in pools)

Simonjt · 10/10/2021 15:33

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

DrSbaitso · 10/10/2021 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Quotes deleted post

Simonjt · 10/10/2021 16:09

I like how having concerns about abusers is against MN guidelines

Lockdownbear · 10/10/2021 16:36

@SW1amp I don't believe only British toddlers are at risk. Sick individuals are around the world over, and have been all through time.

Internet and modern technology have made it easy for them but people are nieve if they think it only happens in the UK.

Maybe other countries the police and jurisdiction systems refuse to accept it but the lack of prosecutions doesn't mean it doesn't happen.

40 years ago people in the UK didn't think child abuse was a big thing either.

LoislovesStewie · 10/10/2021 16:36

Having had to attend MAPPA meetings as part of my work I can advise you of this;
There are more paedophiles than you want to know.
They are everywhere.
They don't have badges stating that they are interested in children in a sexual way.
Where children gather there will be a paedophile.
And they are only waiting to have a photo of your naked child.
I've come out of meetings feeling quite sick having to listen to what a particular person has done; and don't get me started on their miserable excuses for their behaviours.
It's not a victimless crime; your naked, sweet child is being used by a creep.

Dojacatpaws · 10/10/2021 16:46

They are in a lot of places but they are not everywhere

amusedtodeath1 · 10/10/2021 16:47

I can't believe I'm reading this. As experienced this kind of abuse as a child, I can tell you to do everything and anything you can to protect your kids, however small that chance maybe, it's not in anyway worth the risk.

I'm shocked at some of the responses here tbh, to the point where I feel a bit nauseous.

amusedtodeath1 · 10/10/2021 16:50

They ARE everywhere, there's naked children. You can count on it.

notacooldad · 10/10/2021 16:53

They are in a lot of places but they are not everywhere
That may or may not be true but the issue is you donr know excatly where they are.

If anyone hasn't heard the podcast Hunting Warhead it is well worth a listen. It is about how a global paedophile operation on the the dark web was busted

You wouldn't anyone after listening!

Lockdownbear · 10/10/2021 16:57

@Dojacatpaws

They are in a lot of places but they are not everywhere
But you know what, they'll be in the places they are most likely to get a glimps of a naked or scantily clad child. And word gets around even more dangerous in a local pool, where someone is likely to attend weekly at the same time.

It's well known that creeps are attracted to swimming and gymnastics.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out beaches on a hot day may also have an attraction for them as PP pointed out her toddler was wolfwhistled at on a beach and in turn another peado alerted to that small child.

fashionSOS · 10/10/2021 17:40

Did you take off your own swimming costume?

If an adult wouldn't shower in a communal shower without a swimming costume, I don't see why a child should.

I don't think it's normal to strip off in the UK unless it's a private shower. We're not exactly a nation comfortable with nudity, before you even start thinking of safeguarding risks.

I would be uncomfortable if I was in a communal shower when it was quiet, and the only other people in it were a parent and a nude child - you obviously don't have CCTV pointing into showers, and the adult could make up any kind of allegation. That's life-destroying.

Pythonista · 10/10/2021 17:43

And as for blurry picture - if you have a decent phone you can take sharp photos from quite a distance away.

But it is VERY disturbing to hear someone being so blase about the idea of their child's photo being plastered on the internet

DrSbaitso · 10/10/2021 18:32

@Pythonista

And as for blurry picture - if you have a decent phone you can take sharp photos from quite a distance away.

But it is VERY disturbing to hear someone being so blase about the idea of their child's photo being plastered on the internet

I'm really hoping that old Blossomtoes was just in so much of a hurry to score internet points that they unthinkingly excused sharing child porn. And would now rather go down as the person who excused sharing child porn, and wouldn't mind if you splashed their own naked body all over the net without their knowledge, than the person who said something silly and quickly retracted it after actually thinking about it for two seconds.
1FootInTheRave · 10/10/2021 18:37

Some fucking disturbing responses on here tbh.

Not sure whether some are blase and a bit thick or downright sinister.

Blossomtoes · 10/10/2021 18:41

“Old Blossomtoes” doesn’t give a damn what you think @DrSbaitso. I didn’t excuse sharing child porn. If you can find a post where I did, please feel free to quote it. Literally quote, not more twisting.

DrSbaitso · 10/10/2021 18:44

@Blossomtoes

“Old Blossomtoes” doesn’t give a damn what you think *@DrSbaitso*. I didn’t excuse sharing child porn. If you can find a post where I did, please feel free to quote it. Literally quote, not more twisting.
Pythonista: The issue is photographs not necessarily assault. A pervert could take a photo in seconds, you won't know. And the image could be shared amongst his fellow paedos.

Blossomtoes: how would that damage your child? Neither they nor you would ever know.

Gumbomambo · 10/10/2021 18:44

@amusedtodeath1

I can't believe I'm reading this. As experienced this kind of abuse as a child, I can tell you to do everything and anything you can to protect your kids, however small that chance maybe, it's not in anyway worth the risk.

I'm shocked at some of the responses here tbh, to the point where I feel a bit nauseous.

100% agree. It happens. Everywhere. Very very uncomfortable to read some of these posts.
Pythonista · 10/10/2021 18:44

I said The issue is photographs not necessarily assault. A pervert could take a photo in seconds, you won't know. And the image could be shared amongst his fellow paedos.

To which you replied
And how would that damage your child? Neither they nor you would ever know. Not that I believe this would happen anywhere except some paranoid parents’ fevered imaginations anyway.

Pythonista · 10/10/2021 18:45

Cross post with @DrSbaitso

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