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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Naked toddler in swimming pool showers

338 replies

Noodella18 · 08/10/2021 14:35

I take my 2 year old swimming on Fridays. After the session we take a shower in the communal showers, next to the lockers and by the entrance to the pool. I didn't think twice about stripping off her swimming costume to wash her but the lifeguard told me today that she wasn't allowed to be nude 'because it's a public area' and she had to keep it on. Am I being naive in thinking that a naked two year old is really no big deal?

Yanbu - no harm in a naked 2 year old
Yabu - keep the cossie on

OP posts:
Lockdownbear · 10/10/2021 12:49

The point is the more they have access to the more they want. Reduce the availability of photos you reduce the risk to all kids.

Photos are not as innocent and harmless as you think they are.

Blossomtoes · 10/10/2021 12:49

@rrhuth

There are a tonne of potential hazards, all of which are much more common and obvious than a pervert. These include drowning, getting lost, and slipping on wet surfaces.

I think your statistics are wrong, I think it would more likely that a child were being observed by someone undesirable than that they would have a serious near-drowning incident.

The number of drowning deaths and near misses must be smaller than the number of sexual assaults on minors?

Unless someone can find some official statistics we won’t know. But my money’s on @Londonwriter being right on this one. It must be exhausting and depressing living life as if your child is surrounded by paedophiles round every corner.
Pythonista · 10/10/2021 12:50

I don't think anyone has mentioned kidnapping.

As an adult you can make a decision as to how much of your body you want to expose.

A child doesn't have a choice . But if you really think someone taking a photo from a distance (given the quality of cameras on phones these days) isn't a problem then crack on

Lockdownbear · 10/10/2021 12:52

When a mother at your kids nursery got a prison sentence for sharing photos of her kid it kind of opens your eyes.

But bottom line in there is no need for children of any age to be naked in a public place.

Pythonista · 10/10/2021 12:53

The issue is photographs not necessarily assault. A pervert could take a photo in seconds, you won't know. And the image could be shared amongst his fellow paedos.

Skyla2005 · 10/10/2021 12:54

No baby or toddler should be naked anywhere in public full stop. Stupid to think that is ok. There are perverts out there. Why take that chance

Skyla2005 · 10/10/2021 12:56

@Snoken

I mesn, at some point the costume will come off. Nobody travels home in a wet costume. It’s completely bonkers not to allow a two year old to shower (in order to get clean!), without clothes. I shower naked too if I have been in a pool. What’s the point otherwise?
What. You shower in full view of the public ?
Eleganz · 10/10/2021 13:00

I personally wouldn't care with a child that young, but there are changing rooms for a reason. The communal showers at the poolside are really for showing off quickly before entering the pool (although no-one seems to use then for that!).

When my kids were that young I'd quickly hose them off (to wash off the chlorine) in the communal showers before drying and changing them in the changing rooms. They were still getting regular baths at that age.

peboh · 10/10/2021 13:07

Hasn't this always been a rule at swimming pools? I don't ever remember a time when we were showered in our costumes. We always had a proper bath when we got home after to ensure fully clean.

Blossomtoes · 10/10/2021 13:10

@Pythonista

The issue is photographs not necessarily assault. A pervert could take a photo in seconds, you won't know. And the image could be shared amongst his fellow paedos.
And how would that damage your child? Neither they nor you would ever know. Not that I believe this would happen anywhere except some paranoid parents’ fevered imaginations anyway.
Skyla2005 · 10/10/2021 13:12

@notacooldad

*Babies/toddlers young children should not be nude in public even if it is at a swimming pool shower.(

What?! Even on the beach?!
Especially on a beach!

Yes especially on a beach. How can people be so naive? I find it really shocking how many replies on here do not understand basic safeguarding of their children. Perverts go to the places hoping to see children of stupid parents who think it's ok to let them run around naked. Wake up
peboh · 10/10/2021 13:15

@Blossomtoes surely just the idea of someone taking pictures of your child for their own pleasure is bad enough? Whilst your child may never know, I personally could never in good conscience be okay with making choices for my child that could lead to that.

Skyla2005 · 10/10/2021 13:16

Blossomtoes thats is disgusting. So you would be ok with your child being used by paedophiles if you didn't know about it. Disgraceful

DrSbaitso · 10/10/2021 13:18

What? @Blossomtoes, are you serious?

Londonwriter · 10/10/2021 13:19

10 children aged 0-4 die each year from drowning in the UK. Pre-school age is the highest risk for drowning of any age group.

Around 7,000 people born in the UK in 2019 will be sexually assaulted by someone they didn’t know by the age of 18. Of those, the peak age for sexual assault is 11/12 upwards (NOT age 0-4) - this makes perfect sense.

Among the children aged under 6 who are sexually assaulted, in half of cases, the sexual assault is carried out by an actual family member - not a stranger (which makes sense). The number who are sexually assaulted by a trusted figure (e.g. a family friend) will be dramatically higher than that.

There are also about 35,000 non-fatal water-related rescues annually (all age groups).

Looking at that, it’s both hard to compare the statistics and not remotely appropriate. Is the rescue of a toddler who has fallen into water equivalent to a teenage girl having her arse grabbed? I don’t really want to answer that question.

It’s also not really a statistical question TBH. Blaming parents for not covering up their pre-pubescent child in the swimming pool incase a pervert takes a surreptitious photo is the equivalent of blaming a rape victim for wearing a short skirt. The problem is allowing perverts to loiter around swimming pool changing rooms.

Blossomtoes · 10/10/2021 13:21

@Skyla2005

Blossomtoes thats is disgusting. So you would be ok with your child being used by paedophiles if you didn't know about it. Disgraceful
It wouldn’t be my child, would it? It would be a pretty rubbish image of them taken from far enough away not to be noticed. I can’t see what possible real impact it would have on you or your child. The point of protecting children is to keep them physically and emotionally safe. I don’t think a parent who’s paranoid about paedophiles is creating a particularly healthy environment for their children.
rrhuth · 10/10/2021 13:21

@Blossomtoes I do not find it any more exhausting knowing that some people are unpleasant than knowing a car could kill my child. The car death is far more likely. A drowning far less likely.

It is just a fact of life.

rrhuth · 10/10/2021 13:23

I think your post about photos is really quite wrong @Blossomtoes.

The police, courts and society consider such photos harmful and you are very out of line there.

Pythonista · 10/10/2021 13:23

And how would that damage your child? Neither they nor you would ever know. Not that I believe this would happen anywhere except some paranoid parents’ fevered imaginations anyway

So you don't care that naked photos of your child could end up on a paedo's website. How about your child? Do they get a say?

Pythonista · 10/10/2021 13:24

And you do realise the smartphone cameras can zoom in and still have a clear picture?

Skyla2005 · 10/10/2021 13:26

Blossomtoes. If you worked in child protection seeing abuse day In day out wou would not be spouting this crap you are coming out with believe me I suggest you stop now

DrSbaitso · 10/10/2021 13:26

It wouldn’t be my child, would it? It would be a pretty rubbish image of them taken from far enough away not to be noticed. I can’t see what possible real impact it would have on you or your child.

Are you serious?

So if I sneak a snap of you in a state of undress in a changing room and share it on the internet, that's fine as long as you never find out about it?

It's one thing to think the risk is too small to worty about. It's quite another to think it wouldn't matter if it were to happen.

Are you actually serious?

Blossomtoes · 10/10/2021 13:28

So if I sneak a snap of you in a state of undress in a changing room and share it on the internet, that's fine as long as you never find out about it?

Totally fine.

Dojacatpaws · 10/10/2021 13:30

I am not going to live my life as if there is a paedo on every corner, cos they're aint

DrSbaitso · 10/10/2021 13:31

@Blossomtoes

So if I sneak a snap of you in a state of undress in a changing room and share it on the internet, that's fine as long as you never find out about it?

Totally fine.

Bloody hell.

Um.

Ok.

But it's also fine to do it to children, or other adults who wouldn't be as OK with it as you are? Revenge porn, as long as the victims never know? That's all right too?