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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour seems to have an issue with me

131 replies

Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:43

No idea why. We live in a block of small flats, my partner and I live on the floor above her but not directly above.
She looks in her early 20s and I think is Eastern European.
The first couple of times we saw her she just walked past us with a stormy look on her face, didn’t smile, say hi or anything. Thought maybe she was shy or a cultural thing.

She’s done this a few times.
This morning I had my bike repaired and a mobile company came to do it. I was sitting on the bottom steps next to the front door, the front door was slightly open whilst I was waiting for them to repair it.

I wasn’t making noise and it was 9:30am so not too early.
She came out of her room to use the communal toilet and peered her head over the bannister down at me. I said hi and she just looked at me.
She carried on so I asked if I could help her with anything. She just walked off, doing the loudest passive aggressive sigh ever, then did it again walking from the toilet back to her room.

Once we had no electricity in the flat. We had to charge our phones with a socket which was outside her flat. She came back from a night out after we had started charging them, and I could hear her doing the loudest possible sighs every minute.

She seems to have an issue with me but I’ve never spoken to her or done anything. We don’t invite anyone over really, I go to bed quite early, we don’t blast loud music or anything and we aren’t directly adjacent to her either.

The other day there was a massive spider so I screamed, maybe she heard that. Same once when my partner was tickling me, but it’s not constant.
Never had noise complaints from any neighbours or the agency.

So not really sure at all. I just ignore her, won’t be living near her forever but cannot understand what the issue is.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 08/10/2021 12:45

I’ve never heard of flats with a communal toilet, you don’t actually have toilets in your flat? Do you mean it’s a house share and you rent a room?

Anyway just ignore it.

Pythonista · 08/10/2021 12:47

Sounds like she finds you irritating. But that's just life - you won't know why, so just ignore her,

Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:47

We and a few other flats have our own toilets but a couple of studios, including hers, share a toilet.
You’re right though, some things are just not made to understand I suppose

OP posts:
Pythonista · 08/10/2021 12:48

But then if you are going to scream, no wonder she's sighing'

Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:48

Yeah, I’ve never encountered her in any way so she must find my mere presence irritating, but as you say it’s life, sometimes people dislike you for trivial reasons

OP posts:
Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:49

I don’t scream constantly, it was just once or twice over weeks, and I’m not sure she was even at home then.

OP posts:
Pythonista · 08/10/2021 12:50

Not sure why it's relevant that she's Eastern European though,

Some people just won't like you!

Pythonista · 08/10/2021 12:50

Just leave her to get on with her life and avoid being around her as much as possible

Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:51

I said that I initially wondered if it was cultural, like in Russia for instance it’s not common to smile at strangers in the street.

She doesn’t have to like me at all, there’s no need for the loud sighing though it’s just rude.

OP posts:
Pythonista · 08/10/2021 12:53

Assuming you are in the UK, it's not that common either

Live your life, let her sigh if she wants, and look forward to getting out

BumbledBee · 08/10/2021 12:54

If you can't think of anything you've done to annoy her, I would assume it's not personal and she just isn't enjoying the living arrangements.

Maybe she feels like there's always someone outside her flat and she sighs at everyone?

Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:55

Yeah maybe it isn’t personal. Even the very first she moved in, she passed us on the stairs without even looking at us, she might be the same with everyone

OP posts:
SofiaMichelle · 08/10/2021 12:56

@Bluntness100

I’ve never heard of flats with a communal toilet, you don’t actually have toilets in your flat? Do you mean it’s a house share and you rent a room?

Anyway just ignore it.

Also a bit confused by this.

They're flats, you say?

ScarlettSunset · 08/10/2021 12:57

Are you sure she's sighing because of you? She could easily have other things going on in her life that makes her want to sigh, but it just happened that you were nearby at those particular times.
She could even have been sighing because she didn't really want to have to use the communal toilet!

Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:57

They’re small flats and studios/bedsits, some share a communal bathroom and some have their own

OP posts:
Pythonista · 08/10/2021 12:57

@Waterloo555

Yeah maybe it isn’t personal. Even the very first she moved in, she passed us on the stairs without even looking at us, she might be the same with everyone
I'm autistic so I avoid looking at strangers,
Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:58

Maybe, it was just the way she looked down at me on the bottom floor and ignored me when I said hi and asked if I could help her with something

OP posts:
Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:59

Anyway maybe I’ve been overthinking it, I’ll just ignore her fully

OP posts:
LaBellina · 08/10/2021 13:01

Maybe she’s jealous that you have your own toilet…. I wouldn’t take it personal. By the sounds of it, you haven’t done anything to reasonably make her feel upset about so I would just ignore her as well.

Mistyplanet · 08/10/2021 13:02

Ive experienced this kind of behaviour from Eastern Europeans. Obviously it goes without saying most are not like this but I think they have a particular way of expressing when they are irritated by someone with looks, sighing and huffing and puffing. I had it with a few polish girls I worked with. You've hit the nail on the head - she cant stand your mere presence! You've probably done a few things she didnt like as youve mentioned and shes completely written you off. English people ime are more likely to be polite to your face and bitch behind your back or at the other extreme very in your face and rude. The best thing to do is just ignore her now and not let it effect your enjoyment of your home. Sighing and pouting is manipulative and passive aggressive and theres no need for it.

Pythonista · 08/10/2021 13:02

You are overthinking - I'm sure she doesn't give you the headspace you are giving her.

She's not causing a nuisance so leave the poor woman alone! Smile

Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 13:03

Yeah it’s part of life I guess, I’ll just have to get on with it !

OP posts:
Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 13:05

Maybe yeah, as I said I’ve never had any kind of encounter with her whatsoever, apart from passing her in the hallway a couple of times, it just makes for an unpleasant living environment but hopefully we’re moving in a few months

OP posts:
Pythonista · 08/10/2021 13:06

It's only an issue if you make it one.

Pythonista · 08/10/2021 13:07

For some reason she doesn't want to have any contact with you. It may be because she thinks you are noisy, it may be personal or she may do it to everyone

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