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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour seems to have an issue with me

131 replies

Waterloo555 · 08/10/2021 12:43

No idea why. We live in a block of small flats, my partner and I live on the floor above her but not directly above.
She looks in her early 20s and I think is Eastern European.
The first couple of times we saw her she just walked past us with a stormy look on her face, didn’t smile, say hi or anything. Thought maybe she was shy or a cultural thing.

She’s done this a few times.
This morning I had my bike repaired and a mobile company came to do it. I was sitting on the bottom steps next to the front door, the front door was slightly open whilst I was waiting for them to repair it.

I wasn’t making noise and it was 9:30am so not too early.
She came out of her room to use the communal toilet and peered her head over the bannister down at me. I said hi and she just looked at me.
She carried on so I asked if I could help her with anything. She just walked off, doing the loudest passive aggressive sigh ever, then did it again walking from the toilet back to her room.

Once we had no electricity in the flat. We had to charge our phones with a socket which was outside her flat. She came back from a night out after we had started charging them, and I could hear her doing the loudest possible sighs every minute.

She seems to have an issue with me but I’ve never spoken to her or done anything. We don’t invite anyone over really, I go to bed quite early, we don’t blast loud music or anything and we aren’t directly adjacent to her either.

The other day there was a massive spider so I screamed, maybe she heard that. Same once when my partner was tickling me, but it’s not constant.
Never had noise complaints from any neighbours or the agency.

So not really sure at all. I just ignore her, won’t be living near her forever but cannot understand what the issue is.

OP posts:
TreborBore · 09/10/2021 07:57

Are you black or Asian? Clutching at straws here as I’m sure you’d know if you were on the receiving end but but is racism possible?

Pythonista · 09/10/2021 10:30

@Staffy1

*Thank you but I do understand.

People go over the top nice when someone doesn't like them so that they will get a reaction. Not because they give a toss about the person (or they would leave them alone)*

How do know that’s why they do it? If I was going to be nice to someone who was repeatedly unpleasant to me that wouldn’t be my intention. It would be to try and make things more pleasant for both of us and hope that it would let them know that I had never intended to do anything to irritate them in the first place. It’s horrible and uncomfortable having to live near someone that makes it clear they don’t like you when you have no idea what has caused the animosity. I can’t imagine it’s nice for the person who is unfriendly in the first place to keep living like that either, so surely it’s better to try and be civil and pleasant and hope that it rubs off than continue to be glared and huffed at and doing the same, or blanking them in retaliation?

I'm sure it would be 🙄 People do it to make a point. I have been on the receiving end of it, it's passive aggressive. It's also pathetic and obvious but on the plus side the receiver will have even more reason to dislike you.

It really isn't much effort to blank people. The fact that the neighbour is sighing implies that the OP has in fact annoyed her (being outside her flat charging her phone is just one example).

Whether she is reasonable to be annoyed if debatable.

Whether she had a right to be annoyed is not.

Of course it's your right to smile and say hello in an attempt to prove a point but don't expect them to respond

Rubiconmangojuice · 09/10/2021 10:37

I’m sure op wouldn’t deliberately charge her phone at some plugs outside when she could do so in her own home. That girl sounds like a nasty person

Pythonista · 09/10/2021 10:44

@Rubiconmangojuice

I’m sure op wouldn’t deliberately charge her phone at some plugs outside when she could do so in her own home. That girl sounds like a nasty person
She's probably a woman rather than a girl, but okay...
Schhhteeevie · 09/10/2021 10:56

I’m guessing the OP has given up on this thread because let’s face it, it’s cuckoo

TLDR: OP says hi to neighbour - neighbour won’t respond other than with loud passive aggressive sighs or to stand staring at the OP in complete silence.

Mumsnet summary: OP is passive aggressive weirdo whose anti social behaviour is simply unacceptable

fumfspos · 09/10/2021 11:25

I’m sure op wouldn’t deliberately charge her phone at some plugs outside when she could do so in her own home. That girl sounds like a nasty person

The OP was charging the phones due to having no electricity in her own flat but there are plenty of people (and I live in a block with some) who think it's perfectly ok to use communal electricity to charge their own phones, tablets and laptops meaning that they save money on their electricity bill while the communal electricity bill goes up and others end up having to pay more towards that.
So yeah, the woman was probably pissed off about it, not realizing that it was a one off situation.

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