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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this creepy?

226 replies

HerrenaHarridan · 08/10/2021 10:27

We are currently having a wet room fitted paid for by occupational health (so I didn’t hire these workies directly)

3 day job and we agreed an 8am start

Their work van was parked outside my house at 0645 this morning!

I am all for being early to your job but I’ve been stalked in the past and I found having 2 men parked directly outside my house while it was still dark (ffs!) triggering and intimidating.

Am I being overly sensitive because I find this whole thing with men I don’t know in my house difficult (due to past experiences) or is it just plain creepy to park outside for so long?!?

They know I am here on my own because this is day 3 and I can’t wait for it to be over!

Yabu - why wouldn’t they park up outside for an hour and 15 mins. Everyone loves getting up earlier than necessary and I’m sure it’s more fun than helping their wives with the kids in the morning

Yanbu- I would feel uncomfortable too

OP posts:
BoredZelda · 09/10/2021 18:00

There are other places to park - not just in front of other houses.

You’d have to go miles from my house not to park outside someone else’s house.

CatsnCoffee · 09/10/2021 18:10

Maybe their employers track their journeys with GPS to check they’re where they’re expected to be and they have to ‘clock on’ at job location at that time.

Mydogmylife · 09/10/2021 18:10

@HerrenaHarridan

Other than this they have been very considerate to be fair. If anything I had been considering calling their employer to commend them.

Friendly without being inappropriate and tidied away after themselves each evening.

I am really shaken by this though. I’ve been on the phone to my mum all morning because I felt scared of being in the house on my own with them now

I'm sorry I know you've had a bad experience in the past but you are totally overreacting here. I sincerely hope you don't complain about them based on your own ( understandable ) issues
Mydogmylife · 09/10/2021 18:11

@seaandsandcastles

I’ve been on the phone to my mum all morning because I felt scared of being in the house on my own with them now

This is something you need to deal with and address. You can’t expect the world to behave as though they know about your past.

They are acting perfectly normally and appropriately.

Totally this
2bazookas · 09/10/2021 18:12

They maybe come early to avoid rush-hour traffic holdups, buy breakfast on the way and eat it in the van while parked outside; a relaxed start to the day, no skin off your nose .

Underamour · 09/10/2021 18:19

Hmmm, there could be any number of logical reasons why- eg boss told them to, they do lift share, unsure of traffic or fuel, etc etc. If they aren’t bothering you in any way then arriving to work early is just one of those things- I have a coworker who is always early. She isn’t remotely creepy

Madjakelmum · 09/10/2021 18:20

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

BlueMarigold · 09/10/2021 18:23

@2bazookas

They maybe come early to avoid rush-hour traffic holdups, buy breakfast on the way and eat it in the van while parked outside; a relaxed start to the day, no skin off your nose .
I was just going to suggest this! I do agree with OP that it seems overly early though. Maybe they have something to do on the way like drop a child off at a childminder.
Whenigrowupiwanttobea · 09/10/2021 18:26

Did they think it was creepy that you were observing them for an hour from your house while they were in the van.

soraya · 09/10/2021 18:33

It recently took me 1.5 hours to drive 1 mile as I got stuck in traffic caused by people queuing for petrol.
So maybe they left early to avoid that problem. Maybe they had to get up early to get petrol.
At least they will arrive on time. I would have been more upset if they arrive 1h15mins late. It's day 3 of a 3 day job - don't get stressed about it.

HappyDays40 · 09/10/2021 18:43

Occupational health wouldn't be interested. And Occupational Therapist might be but the contractor is not employed by the OT they are employed by the strategic housing department at the local authority.
Sorry you had a rough deal OP but really, the contractor isn't interested in stalking you. There could be any number of reasons why they were early.

Mumofferalkids · 09/10/2021 18:55

If they’re anything like the staff that work for our council a lot of them like to clock on as early as possible so they can clock off early/accrue extra hours- they’ve had to ban driving of work vehicles before 6am

SweetBabyCheeses99 · 09/10/2021 19:00

YANBU. But not for the reasons you cite. Because 8am is a rule set by the council so that there is not too much disturbance and noise to your poor neighbours.
Engines running, doors slamming, workmen chatting, equipment and materials being unloaded etc all adds up to anti-social noise.

GreyhoundG1rl · 09/10/2021 19:03

@SweetBabyCheeses99

YANBU. But not for the reasons you cite. Because 8am is a rule set by the council so that there is not too much disturbance and noise to your poor neighbours. Engines running, doors slamming, workmen chatting, equipment and materials being unloaded etc all adds up to anti-social noise.
They were parked up outside. They made no attempt to start work before the agreed time.
humblesims · 09/10/2021 19:05

I have had workmen here all last week and one of them (brickie) sat snoozing in his car on the drive for a good hour each morning before the others arrived. It did seem weird but, when I asked, he said it was because he was coming from the (next town over) and wanted to avoid the rush hour traffic. Made sense. I understand why you feel uncomfortable though.

Viviennemary · 09/10/2021 19:09

They probably arrived early to avoid the traffic. Maybe you should have arranged to stay with someone while the work is being done. I dont think many folk actually like having workmen in the house. But they seem nice and considerate.

EmoIsntDead · 09/10/2021 19:12

@HerrenaHarridan

I should know I can trust them after 2 days?

I was with my ex for 6 years before he tried to kill me and our infant and then proceeded to watch our house for months with the police saying they couldn’t do anything unless he ‘actually did something’ so please tell me all about how I should trust because I clearly have no clue!

It’s true their works van is likely to have trackers for cheaper insurance and employee monitoring.
This has made me feel much better because it feels different if they felt like they had to be here as opposed to choosing to sit outside watching my house

One more day of this and it will be over

To be fair tho, OP, none of your terrible past experiences is anything to do with the workies, is it?
CrazyCatLazy · 09/10/2021 19:24

@GreyhoundG1rl

surely they would just go and park up somewhere else Why? Why in the name of God would they "go and park somewhere else"? Hmm
Exactly, park outside somebody else’s home and that would look odd!
takenforgrantednana · 09/10/2021 19:33

@HerrenaHarridan

We are currently having a wet room fitted paid for by occupational health (so I didn’t hire these workies directly)

3 day job and we agreed an 8am start

Their work van was parked outside my house at 0645 this morning!

I am all for being early to your job but I’ve been stalked in the past and I found having 2 men parked directly outside my house while it was still dark (ffs!) triggering and intimidating.

Am I being overly sensitive because I find this whole thing with men I don’t know in my house difficult (due to past experiences) or is it just plain creepy to park outside for so long?!?

They know I am here on my own because this is day 3 and I can’t wait for it to be over!

Yabu - why wouldn’t they park up outside for an hour and 15 mins. Everyone loves getting up earlier than necessary and I’m sure it’s more fun than helping their wives with the kids in the morning

Yanbu- I would feel uncomfortable too

ok i think i know what your wanting to find out, its FRIDAY the traffic can be bad, also being the last day of the job they wanted to give themselves etc time should anything crop up to get the job finnished on time - sensible really, or you would be without water over the weekend!

i hope everything went well ( i havent read all the posts) and that you turned on some lights and took them a cuppa and left them to finnish reading their newspapers or give you a knock when they are ready to start

Tigger1895 · 09/10/2021 19:34

Chances are they are contracted to do the work and may travel some distance to get to you. Or maybe they hoped if you were up they could start early and knock off early as it’s the weekend.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 09/10/2021 19:39

Lolz

Bertiebiscuit · 09/10/2021 19:54

I totally sympathise - I'm a survivor of male violence and can't bear men in my house, even if they show me I D etc, I'm jumpy all the time they are there, really wish the council etc would employ women to do home visits for gas boiler etc

LizzieW1969 · 09/10/2021 19:59

I’m another one saying YABU but I do understand where you’re coming from, as I suffer from PTSD (as an SA survivor) and get triggered easily by workmen in my house. I probably wouldn’t like it if they parked outside my house that early, either, but this would be my issue and not them actually being creepy.

MrsCremuel · 09/10/2021 20:46

Contrary to PP I do find it odd they’d choose to arrive so early and sit in their van! I don’t foresee anything threatening from them but an odd way to use their time!

Glassofshloer · 09/10/2021 21:01

YABU, they were probably having a coffee and listening to the radio before starting. Or left extra early to make sure they beat the traffic. Try not to think the worst of people.