To find this creepy?

[HerrenaHarridan]

We are currently having a wet room fitted paid for by occupational health (so I didn’t hire these workies directly)

3 day job and we agreed an 8am start

Their work van was parked outside my house at 0645 this morning!

I am all for being early to your job but I’ve been stalked in the past and I found having 2 men parked directly outside my house while it was still dark (ffs!) triggering and intimidating.

Am I being overly sensitive because I find this whole thing with men I don’t know in my house difficult (due to past experiences) or is it just plain creepy to park outside for so long?!?

They know I am here on my own because this is day 3 and I can’t wait for it to be over!

Yabu - why wouldn’t they park up outside for an hour and 15 mins. Everyone loves getting up earlier than necessary and I’m sure it’s more fun than helping their wives with the kids in the morning

Yanbu- I would feel uncomfortable too

feels different if they felt like they had to be here as opposed to choosing to sit outside watching my house.
They have a perfectly legitimate reason to enter your house at 8am, what possible reason could they have for watching it for an hour beforehand?!

I used to live in an area where if you left at 7.15 you got to your destination at 8.15. If you left at 7.30 you got to your destination at 9.15 and so were late. A few times, actually on a Friday, I left at 7.15 and actually got there at 7.45 cos traffic was way less. I wasn't due to start until 9.00 so would just have a coffee etc. Could be something as simple as this.

This has made me feel much better because it feels different if they felt like they had to be here as opposed to choosing to sit outside watching my house

I'm glad you feel better but why on earth would they want to sit and stare at the outside of your house for over an hour anyway, considering they've been working inside it for the past 2 days?

Are you getting any help for your extreme anxiety OP?

I think they're trying to avoid later, rush hour traffic and they've brought breakfast to eat in the van. Nothing sinister OP.
I really understand that it upsets you but honestly it's so easy to find an explanation.

It'll be done soon. Hope the wet room is lovely!

Yes YABU

I HATE having workmen in my house so I find it as stressful as you obviously do. In fact when my husband was fit, I would go out and leave him to deal with it all. Now I'm caring for him I don't have the option. We're having our bathroom converted by the local authority too, hopefully sometime soon. We only have one loo, in that bathroom, so have decided to bite the bullet and move into the Premier Inn about a mile away, and I will go backwards and forwards every day to check all is ok. Anything to relieve the stress.
In your case the stress could have been easily relieved by going out and offering them a cup of tea and asking if they wanted to start early. After all, you would then have them finished early as well.

I expect they left home early to avoid the traffic.
They’re just sitting outside. Not sitting outside watching you.

They're not 'watching' the house though. They'll be making calls, doing admin, eating breakfast.

It's not always possible to tidily calculate the distance to people's houses and leave on the dot. Traffic makes this unpredictable. It's a bit much criticising people for making sure they get to a job on time.

Totally agree that you feeling intimidated isn't the same as they actually being intimidating. They might start earlier than 8am so need to be at work before then. My DH works for a large company and starts work at 7am but if a customer doesn't want him there earlier he might find jobs to do or get a coffee or he might just park up and enjoy the peace and quiet.

Worra- that’s exactly my point

When I have known that to happen to me in the past it ended very very badly and i s till bear the physical and emotional scars.
I’ve spent the last 8 years unpicking that but thanks for your concern

To the person who said I wasted my mums time… your empathy seems to be malfunctioning and fortunately she doesn’t see it that way. I know because thanks to your comment I felt I had to go and ask her.
I hope your friends and family don’t feel like you’re wasting their time when they need support.

YABU. I can imagine the faces of their management if you complained - "The workers turned up in good time and parked in the street outside. They're considerate and are getting on with the job. IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!!"

@HerrenaHarridan

Worra- that’s exactly my point

When I have known that to happen to me in the past it ended very very badly and i s till bear the physical and emotional scars.
I’ve spent the last 8 years unpicking that but thanks for your concern

To the person who said I wasted my mums time… your empathy seems to be malfunctioning and fortunately she doesn’t see it that way. I know because thanks to your comment I felt I had to go and ask her.
I hope your friends and family don’t feel like you’re wasting their time when they need support.

Sorry OP when you say that's exactly your point, I'm not sure what you mean?

Do you mean the bit where I asked why they would spend an hour staring at the outside of your house, when they're going to be working in it all day?

If so, it's pretty obvious they wouldn't because it wouldn't make sense.

This has made me feel much better because it feels different if they felt like they had to be here as opposed to choosing to sit outside watching my house

They're not outside watching your house.

Sometimes I arrive at work early because traffic is lighter than I expect or I have an errand to run beforehand which takes less time than I thought. I sit in the canteen and read until it's time to start, this is similar.

Maybe they left early expecting to queue for petrol but managed to get some straight away. Maybe it's their ritual to get breakfast from a cafe and eat it in the van before work on a Friday. Maybe they were hoping you'd notice them and let them in to start working earlier.

OP, you need to distinguish better between what they're actually doing (sitting in their van, minding their own business) and what your anxiety is interpreting ('watching' your house).

Your comments about them leaving the kids to their wives are totally off. You know nothing about their situation. What use is throwing around totally unsubstantiated judgement?

I can imagine the faces of their management if you complained - "The workers turned up in good time and parked in the street outside. They're considerate and are getting on with the job. IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!

Exactly

Maybe they wanted to avoid the rush hour (it wouldn’t be unusual anywhere around here) have time to eat their breakfast..

Maybe they wanted to get an early start to make sure they got the job finished today, as promised?

Sorry but YABU.

They haven't done anything wrong - I'm sure they'd do the same if you were a bloke there living alone. There's obviously some reason they get there at that time - you just don't know it. The best thing would probably be to just ask them why - or you could ask them if they want to start a bit earlier as they are there anyway and then they'll be finished earlier.

Yabu sorry. DP and his boss get to jobs early because if they left later the traffic would be ridiculous

I have voted YABU, but can understand where you're coming from given your history. We had work done on our building two years ago that lasted for a while, and the builders were coming from outside the city so preferred to get here very early and finish early to avoid traffic. With noise regulations they (or your workies) can't do much until 7:30/8am, so they're probably just eating their breakfast whilst they wait for it to be a reasonable time to knock on your door.

Presumably you knew who they were though. If it was convenient for you, you could have let them in early, which would mean they'd be finished sooner in the day, rather than have them sitting them for an hour.

I'm sorry that you've had a bad experience in the past , but I voted yabu. Your past experience is affecting your emotions which is understandable. They are probably just enjoying a take away coffee and a chat.

You need to get help with your anxiety OP, you are being totally irrational.
I sat outside someone’s house for an hour the other night, I was waiting for DC to finish band practice and I needed a street lamp to read my book. Never even occurred to me to glance at the house, never mind think that the people inside would be having a full blown panic attack, please get some professional help.

All I can say is that I do this quite often.

I'd rather sit in my car and read a book, drink coffee, than sit in stop start traffic trying to get to my first job of the day.

I don't know anyone in a trade that doesn't sometimes make the same decision.

I hope the responses here are helping reduce your anxiety over this!

They probably needed fuel and allowed plenty of time to track some down/queue for it but hit lucky and got straight in and out.
I work in a trade and our guys use the 7am start time not to shirk family life but be finished by 3pm and thus able to do school pickup etc. (It's an outdoor job with no need to access individual properties so our crack of dawn starts don't affect any householders).

YAB VVV I.
It's Friday, they want to finish early so start as close to 8 as possible. The early arrival is to have an hour having breakfast and a fag most probably.
All the good trades I employ do this.
Just be bloody grateful they've turned up.