Wanting to rehome a dog

[Newmama93]

I’m in a horrible situation, I’ve rehomed a dog before,I had two dogs, both were XL American bullies, my male was attacking my other female dog repeatively, with a baby on the way we found the male a beautiful property where we see daily photos of him and he is so happy. That almost killed me! DH then proposed to me with another dog for our female as she developed severe seperation anxiety once our male was gone (even though she was scared and hid from him all day prior) I was shocked that he bought another dog and also a big dog which I did not want. Fast forward a year and this dog is aggressive toward other animals, people and kids. He is good with my 6 month old and mum, that is it. I still do t trust him. He is aggressive toward people we have come to the house (friends and family) and I’m so anxious constantly whenever someone wants to come over and see my son.

I am such an animal lover, I donate to a shelter monthly, I would never have imagined giving up my first dog let alone two but I really can’t cope with this aggression. He’s a 60kg dog.

What would you do? I can’t stop crying, I can’t eat. DH is not on board and says just put him outside away from everyone but I’m so anxious someone will accidentally walk outside and I also feel it’s a bad life for him.

Please no judgement - I would never dump my dog at a shelter or anything like that. I’d keep him if we couldn’t find anyone to take him.

Oh dear. This has ‘recipe for disaster’ written all over it. How is it going to cope in a new home? Would it be best if you re-homed your female at the same time if she gets anxious alone? I hope your partner doesn’t go getting silly ideas about getting another dog.

You must rehome him.

@MyDcAreMarvel op said

DH then proposed to me with another dog for our female as she developed severe seperation anxiety once our male was gone (even though she was scared and hid from him all day prior) I was shocked that he bought another dog and also a big dog which I did not want

Op didn't say he prosed they got a dog. She was shocked he had bought another dog that she did not want.

Had . As in past tense. The dog had been bought.

He proposed marriage....with a dog.

You need to rehome both dogs

You don't have the experience to deal with the issues they have as these issues wouldn't be here if you did.

I wouldn't get another dog again, if you want a pet get a cat.

@Newmama93

Ahhh don’t start on the breed thing, you are wrong there. Fear aggressive is amongst every breed and although more dangerous in powerful dogs, they can very well be domestic dogs and the American bully was supposed to be bred for the perfect family pet, taking the drive out of the American staffy. Unfortunately we’ve gotten unlucky twice now, although I don’t discriminate against bull breeds, I will be getting a dog I can handle next incase issues arise with temperament as I’m only 5”4 and tiny lol

You haven't got unlucky you have created the dogs issues as your not experienced on training them correctly.

Rehome both dogs and dogs not get a dog again especially a large powerful breed.

@Newmama93

That’s why I wanted a small dog to keep my female company, perhaps an adult rescue even. I wasn’t even considering it as I’d just given away a dog. But DH didn’t consult me before purchasing this dog. I wouldn’t have agreed on another dog of this breed due to past experience.

You shouldn't be keeping dogs together unattended, if a fight breaks out one will be killed

This shows your lack of understanding of dog behaviour

Dogs should never be left alone together especially not a powerful breed

@Newmama93 unlucky twice? You have been unlucky 3 times. As you have 3 dogs with fear and anxiety issues

No one is unlucky 3 times. At some point you need to start looking closer to home for where the problem lies.

A small rescue, that's likely to have issues itself is not the best choice to home with a large dog who has separation anxiety.

[quote Nightbringer]@Newmama93 unlucky twice? You have been unlucky 3 times. As you have 3 dogs with fear and anxiety issues

No one is unlucky 3 times. At some point you need to start looking closer to home for where the problem lies.

A small rescue, that's likely to have issues itself is not the best choice to home with a large dog who has separation anxiety.[/quote]
I do everything right by my dogs and I don’t need to explain myself to your small mind. Bye now

I do everything right by my dogs and I don’t need to explain myself to your small mind. Bye now

You do everything right but have had 3 dogs that all have anxiety issues?

The only people with small mind is yourself AND you dp.

Buying dogs as a surprise. Having reoccurring issues with individual dogs and still believing 'I do everything right'. Considering by a small rescue to help your bigger dogs anxiety. No care for the safety of the smaller dog.

Your track record suggests that even if the refuse doesn't have an anxiety problems (which the vast amount do) it will inexplicably develop it.

The small minds here are yours and your dps. What you are both doing is cruel.

Its not bad luck - more that you and your DP have chosen dogs that don't fit the life you have - both having a small child and time constraints to train. This doesn't mean the dogs need to be PTS, but they do need to be housed with an owner who has the lifestyle and time to give them the time and attention they need. Its not just that the dog needs to go for you and your DS's benefit, but for his own.

Your DS won't be a size to hold round the dogs for long. The boy dog needs to be rehomed soon. It was really poor behaviour of your DP to just get another dog without your input, particularly a breed so unsuited to a family pet.

I would also consider rehoming the girl dog if she isn't able to settle without another dog for company. It would be unfair to bring another puppy into this household so if she can't cope without dog company then she needs to be found a new home too.

Dont think of it as giving up on the dogs, think of it as doing the best for them. If you are unable to meet their needs then giving them to someone who can is a kindness to the dogs.

@Newmama93 I hope for your DS sake you do the only safe thing before worst case scenario happens. He will become an irritating two year old so fast and a dog you can't trust. It is a tragedy in the making and one you could do something about.

How have I created the issues? Omg you must have some serious personal issues going on in your life to be so judgemental of mine. I wish you all the best in sorting those out clearly you’re a very negative, bitter person to go out of your way to make your judgemental comment on a situation you know NOTHING about

@Nightbringer

I do everything right by my dogs and I don’t need to explain myself to your small mind. Bye now

You do everything right but have had 3 dogs that all have anxiety issues?

The only people with small mind is yourself AND you dp.

Buying dogs as a surprise. Having reoccurring issues with individual dogs and still believing 'I do everything right'. Considering by a small rescue to help your bigger dogs anxiety. No care for the safety of the smaller dog.

Your track record suggests that even if the refuse doesn't have an anxiety problems (which the vast amount do) it will inexplicably develop it.

The small minds here are yours and your dps. What you are both doing is cruel.

How is what we are doing cruel? You’re comment is so dumb I’m not wasting my time further on you as clearly you have some personal issues occurring to feel the need to comment on someone’s post that has reached out for help. Strange people in this world looking to spread their bitterness, stay away from me toxic human

@MargosKaftan

Its not bad luck - more that you and your DP have chosen dogs that don't fit the life you have - both having a small child and time constraints to train. This doesn't mean the dogs need to be PTS, but they do need to be housed with an owner who has the lifestyle and time to give them the time and attention they need. Its not just that the dog needs to go for you and your DS's benefit, but for his own.

Your DS won't be a size to hold round the dogs for long. The boy dog needs to be rehomed soon. It was really poor behaviour of your DP to just get another dog without your input, particularly a breed so unsuited to a family pet.

I would also consider rehoming the girl dog if she isn't able to settle without another dog for company. It would be unfair to bring another puppy into this household so if she can't cope without dog company then she needs to be found a new home too.

Dont think of it as giving up on the dogs, think of it as doing the best for them. If you are unable to meet their needs then giving them to someone who can is a kindness to the dogs.

Thank you so much for your comment. I appreciate this and it’s super helpful

You’re nuts

It sounds horribly stressful for you, I don't think you'll realise how much time and energy you were spending watching dog and DS until he's gone. I don't think you'll regret rehoming him, honestly, the whole situation has added stress to the time you are meant to be able to just chill out with your new baby. This will only increase once your DS is on the move. Our Ddog developed dementia while the kids were small and it was so hard.

He can't stay with you long term, your DS isn't unpredictable yet but things like the fancy dress years can really scare a dog. I have a lovely, easy dog now but there's no way she's coming near someone, even her favourite people, in a Peppa Pig mask. Toddlers have noisy toys, remote control things, a tendency to grab and walk with sticks, tantrums.... this is hard enough without worrying about a nervous and potentially aggressive dog. You don't know what it'll react to, so a calm home will be better all round.

Good luck, don't take any emotional crap from your DH, you are doing the right thing.

How is what we are doing cruel? You’re comment is so dumb I’m not wasting my time further on you as clearly you have some personal issues occurring to feel the need to comment on someone’s post that has reached out for help. Strange people in this world looking to spread their bitterness, stay away from me toxic human

Bringing dogs into a house, when they don't suit is cruel. You could have returned the puppy or contacted a rescue the minute dp brought the puppy home.

Bringing in small rescue dog to try to solve your older dogs anxiety, is cruel.

You clearly, love the dogs but are not equipped to look after this breed but refuse to admit it.

You say its not a breed problem. Yet all 3 have had issues. You say its not a problem with how you care for them either. Its just bad luck.

I did have some sympathy for you. But its clear from your further posts that you don't actually think you or dp are doing anything wrong. It's just the universe conspiring against you both.

I always have sympathy for people who need to rehome dogs. But not when they keep following the same pattern of behaviour leading to multiple dogs, struggling.

It matters, not one bit to me, if you think I am toxic. Your over the top defensive posts that are to the point of comical, shows you know people are right.

@Nightbringer

How is what we are doing cruel? You’re comment is so dumb I’m not wasting my time further on you as clearly you have some personal issues occurring to feel the need to comment on someone’s post that has reached out for help. Strange people in this world looking to spread their bitterness, stay away from me toxic human

Bringing dogs into a house, when they don't suit is cruel. You could have returned the puppy or contacted a rescue the minute dp brought the puppy home.

Bringing in small rescue dog to try to solve your older dogs anxiety, is cruel.

You clearly, love the dogs but are not equipped to look after this breed but refuse to admit it.

You say its not a breed problem. Yet all 3 have had issues. You say its not a problem with how you care for them either. Its just bad luck.

I did have some sympathy for you. But its clear from your further posts that you don't actually think you or dp are doing anything wrong. It's just the universe conspiring against you both.

I always have sympathy for people who need to rehome dogs. But not when they keep following the same pattern of behaviour leading to multiple dogs, struggling.

It matters, not one bit to me, if you think I am toxic. Your over the top defensive posts that are to the point of comical, shows you know people are right.

I know I’m not equippted to handle such powerful dogs, I am aware of this. I’m already dealing with so much emotion and guilt over having to rehome yet another dog, I didn’t want this. I didn’t want another large dog either. It’s a horrible situation, I don’t feel I’ve done anything wrong but try and socialise and raise my dogs the best I can. I didn’t buy this dog, I was so angry at DH for getting another big dog behind my back and think he was an idiot. I have also contacted the breeder in those early days but he didn’t give a shit. I didn’t want the dog to go back to the breeder as it would’ve had a shit life so I tried to work through the issues. I really have tried my best regardless of what you think and I’m very emotional about this because it’s a horrid situation.

I agree with @Nightbringer

Can the comments stop. I’m trying to look after DS with all this stress on me and can’t take more people coming at me saying it’s my fault or the way I’ve raised my dogs when I’ve tried my best. I’ve struggled with PPD and really can’t handle Any more stress, this situation is hard enough. Thank you for your input

I don’t think going back and berating the OP for past actions is very helpful. It’s important to move on and focus on the here and now.
Your DH sounds like a selfish shit and that’s not your fault. I’d rehome him personally and he can deal with the dogs.

@Mickarooni

I don’t think going back and berating the OP for past actions is very helpful. It’s important to move on and focus on the here and now. Your DH sounds like a selfish shit and that’s not your fault. I’d rehome him personally and he can deal with the dogs.

Thank you

Just make sure you and your baby stay safe & good luck with moving forward

I don't doubt that you think are doing your best. But you are still pretending its all bad luck. If you know you aren't equipped you know it's not bad luck. It's down to you and your do not being equipped. Which is what I said, that you took so much offense to.

You have had 3 dogs who all have anxiety issues. That's not bad luck. It's because you aren't equipped, which you now say you know.

You were mad at dh? But still accepted the proposal? Even though he forced this dog on you? And is still forcing it on you?

I can't imagine saying to dp 'oh yeah, you brought this animal in just after we rehomed the same breed. That devastated me and you didn't consult me. I know this will badly impact me and the end of my pregnancy. Feels like you didn't consider me...but yes I will marry you'

Your son is a baby.

You rehomed the second dog while pregnant. Have had the third a year so must have still been pregnant when he brought this dog home? Barely no gap between one leaving and one coming in. You could have rehomed the dog as a puppy, with rescue so much easier.

As I said, I don't doubt you love them. But at some point you can't keep saying'its just bad luck' or keep taking your dh seriously when he thinks this isn't an issue.

This is why people are saying you should rehome both. Because you arent equipped.

You’re more nuts writing that as a comment on a post like this