Wanting to rehome a dog

[Newmama93]

I’m in a horrible situation, I’ve rehomed a dog before,I had two dogs, both were XL American bullies, my male was attacking my other female dog repeatively, with a baby on the way we found the male a beautiful property where we see daily photos of him and he is so happy. That almost killed me! DH then proposed to me with another dog for our female as she developed severe seperation anxiety once our male was gone (even though she was scared and hid from him all day prior) I was shocked that he bought another dog and also a big dog which I did not want. Fast forward a year and this dog is aggressive toward other animals, people and kids. He is good with my 6 month old and mum, that is it. I still do t trust him. He is aggressive toward people we have come to the house (friends and family) and I’m so anxious constantly whenever someone wants to come over and see my son.

I am such an animal lover, I donate to a shelter monthly, I would never have imagined giving up my first dog let alone two but I really can’t cope with this aggression. He’s a 60kg dog.

What would you do? I can’t stop crying, I can’t eat. DH is not on board and says just put him outside away from everyone but I’m so anxious someone will accidentally walk outside and I also feel it’s a bad life for him.

Please no judgement - I would never dump my dog at a shelter or anything like that. I’d keep him if we couldn’t find anyone to take him.

Perhaps if you've been unlucky twice you are not suited for that breed, especially now that your circumstances have changed

DH is not on board and says just put him outside away from everyone but I’m so anxious someone will accidentally walk outside and I also feel it’s a bad life for him. - do NOT do that.
That’s going to make aggression worse and it’s quite frankly an accident waiting to happen. He will want to get inside, he will be jealous and want to destroy the source. It’s happened in the U.K. and the outcome was the child’s death and the dog’s destruction I believe. You will not be able to keep the dog away and what a sad life for the dog!

These dogs can be hard to train, I love them but I’m not sure I’d get one myself as I’m too soft and I don’t have the time to exercise them.

You must rehome the dog, to someone who has no children and has dealt with this issue before. @Ohwhatfunwehad is correct.

You are doing the best for the dog, he will be happier with more attention.

@SentDeliveredRead

Perhaps if you've been unlucky twice you are not suited for that breed, especially now that your circumstances have changed

Or dogs generally.

The thing about breeds is that no, bully breeds aren't worse. However, when they are not bred and managed properly bullies are much more dangerous. They are also frequently bought by irresponsible wankers. Which means the dog gets the rep while the owner is to blame.

The only breed I can't stand is mini Pinschers.

There's no 'luck' with dogs that could kill you easily, especially buying more than one.

The thing is OP, it doesn't matter the cause of the aggression. He is a very large and powerful breed and would be difficult to overpower if he really tried to get away from you.

Aggression is a major problem with any breed but one so large and strong could easily kill a child without meaning to. I love my dogs and am the first to stick up for dogs on here but a dog of that size who is aggressive towards children does sadly need to be put to sleep. Imagine if he accidentally killed a child. How would you feel? All it takes is one unpredictable toddler scaring him while your attention is elsewhere. You can't be on them 100 percent, every single second, its impossible.

Given that you know of his previous history of aggression, you would likely go to prison.

I think you and your DH were very irresponsible to get another dog in your situation but that is done and you have to think serious about this dogs future. However loving he is with you, he poses a risk to others.

I've had to do it myself with my own dog years ago and it broke my heart but I just couldn't trust him. If something happened it would have been my fault. I knew he wasn't right and was dangerous. So I know how it feels but as their owners we take on a responsibility for them when we adopt them.

Its cruel and unfair but we know when we get them that we are settling ourselves up for heartbreak down the line.

Please rehome the dog before he kills a child. Or an adult.

American bully was supposed to be bred for the perfect family pet, taking the drive out of the American staffy. Unfortunately we’ve gotten unlucky twice now, although I don’t discriminate against bull breeds

I don't think you've been unlucky - they're clearly not a breed that's suitable for you or your family set-up. American bullies are big, strong dogs which is why things can go badly wrong when they're in the wrong hands. If you're only 5'4" and you have a big dog, you need to have it impeccably trained - what happens if you're out in public and it pulls you over and you drop the lead? An aggressive dog that's loose could really do some awful damage.

He is lazy and doesn’t pull when we are out. He sticks by my leg and doesn’t want to be approached by people. If someone approaches he will growl and I get very anxious amd scared as he’s so unpredictable so I have a collar that says NERVOUS, STAY AWAY on him.

Thanks everyone, as beautiful as he is with our immediate family, it is really ruining my life with having guests and his unpredictability:(

If someone approaches he will growl and I get very anxious amd scared as he’s so unpredictable so I have a collar that says NERVOUS, STAY AWAY on him.

This in itself is a HUGE worry. What will you do if someone ignores the collar (and in my experience, most people do) and goes to stroke him and he lunges or goes to bite? What if that person is a small child?

Even if you muzzle him, he could still knock a child flying and cause some nasty bruises. It's pretty irrelevant how good he is at home, you need to be able to keep visitors and the public safe too. It's part of owning a dog.

This thread is terrifying.

If something happens, it will be 100% the fault of you and your DH.

There's a wonderful woman near me with a dog exactly like this (she rescued it). She walks it at 5am, avoids people entirely, muzzles and crosses the road if someone comes, if incredibly careful. Her house looks like Fort Knox and no visitors.

'Nervous' collar FFS. That's for dogs like mine; nervous, unaggressive, small and pathetic.

I understand that. I’ve managed the situation as best as I can so far to keep everyone safe and am now struggling with my options. I’m a big dog lover and this is very hard for me, I didn’t want to be in this situation. I also love my dog and his temperament with us as a family. I know all of these things, I know it’s scary and bad but there are reactive dogs out there and some can be rehabilitated which I have tried, spending thousands on dog behaviourists.

I'm so sorry but you need to take him and get him put to sleep. Do not rehome him. It's the kindest thing to do for everybody. It's not your fault but you have to do the right thing. If it was my dog yes it would kill me but that is what I would do. I would have him put to sleep at home with al his family around him

Just to vent some more, he lunged at my MIL through the baby gate, growling and barking after she’d been with us a night already and he was ok with her.

My friend came to the front door who he knows, DH let him out to greet her and she jumped up at her growling. If anyone looks at him directly in the eye he’ll growl and lunge.

I’m in tears after every instance of this but DH says he needs to go to a board and train facility before we rehome. (Where a trainer has him for a month and socialises/rehabilitates him)

Yes, some can be rehabilitated but some can't.

This is the second time you've had an aggressive dog on your hands and have been in the position of needing to rehome. Please think about that and stop getting dogs that you clearly struggle with.

I'm a dog lover but there are certain breeds I would struggle with because I know I don't have the time or knowledge to deal with them properly and safely. They may well have a reputation as being good with family but in the nicest way, you clearly can't manage them so stop getting them.

Also please keep in mind he is submissive with my other dog, has never shown ANY aggressive toward me, DH or Bub, or my mum. He is a very loving and beautiful dog at home. It’s not like I just have a wild, vicious dog. He is still a loving, sweet dog keep this in mind when everyone is saying put him to sleep, it is very hard to do that to a dog that is perfect with us.

@TooMuchPaper

Please rehome the dog before he kills a child. Or an adult.

He will still be the same dog. Just in a different home. How does that help the problem it could actually be worse because the op is managing the situation the next owner may not

That’s why I wanted a small dog to keep my female company, perhaps an adult rescue even. I wasn’t even considering it as I’d just given away a dog. But DH didn’t consult me before purchasing this dog. I wouldn’t have agreed on another dog of this breed due to past experience.

@Newmama93

Just to vent some more, he lunged at my MIL through the baby gate, growling and barking after she’d been with us a night already and he was ok with her.

My friend came to the front door who he knows, DH let him out to greet her and she jumped up at her growling. If anyone looks at him directly in the eye he’ll growl and lunge.

I’m in tears after every instance of this but DH says he needs to go to a board and train facility before we rehome. (Where a trainer has him for a month and socialises/rehabilitates him)

This dog is a danger and needs to be put to sleep. Board and train facilities are an awful idea as training is more about training the owners than it is about training the dog. Board and train facilities also won't have small children and babies around!

Please see sense. This is an accident waiting to happen. An XL bully could easily clear a baby gate if it wanted to and then you would be in real, real trouble. If this dog bit someone it could severely injure them or even kill them.

I know I sound harsh but you need to put other people's safety above your love for this dog. Sometimes love means doing the hardest thing in the world which, for aggressive dogs, is often having them put to sleep. A dog who is that angry, scared and reactive will not be happy anyway.

@Newmama93

That’s why I wanted a small dog to keep my female company, perhaps an adult rescue even. I wasn’t even considering it as I’d just given away a dog. But DH didn’t consult me before purchasing this dog. I wouldn’t have agreed on another dog of this breed due to past experience.

Absolutely. Your DH made a huge mistake and now you both need to deal with it before the worst happens and it kills someone.

@Newmama93

Also please keep in mind he is submissive with my other dog, has never shown ANY aggressive toward me, DH or Bub, or my mum. He is a very loving and beautiful dog at home. It’s not like I just have a wild, vicious dog. He is still a loving, sweet dog keep this in mind when everyone is saying put him to sleep, it is very hard to do that to a dog that is perfect with us.

I know it's heartbreaking but honestly it's the best thing to do you can't rehome him and you sound as though you are stressed out with it all you can't carry on like that.

You are an absolute fool for trusting this dog. You say it's aggressive but is good with your child. Give it a couple of months and the child will be crawling and potentially irritating an aggressive, huge dog?

Get rid. And I'd argue that such an aggressive dog is unsuitable for rehoming. Just how many people do you think are queuing up to take on a "XL American Bullie" with aggressive tendencies?

I know. Thanks everyone, I’ll chat to him about this tomorrow and show him some of the comments to make him understand I’m not crazy!

@KingsleyShacklebolt

You are an absolute fool for trusting this dog. You say it's aggressive but is good with your child. Give it a couple of months and the child will be crawling and potentially irritating an aggressive, huge dog?

Get rid. And I'd argue that such an aggressive dog is unsuitable for rehoming. Just how many people do you think are queuing up to take on a "XL American Bullie" with aggressive tendencies?

Ehhh, you don’t understand my dog. He is very tolerant when it comes to our family, he isn’t threatened by us. But thanks

Good luck - I hope he sees reality.

If you wait until the dog bites someone before taking action, you may not have a choice - the dog will be taken off you and destroyed.

I have an adopted dog who is fear aggressive so I understand it's hard. She is perfectly lovely to the family and very patient and sweet with my 7year old and we can eventually get her used to frequent visitors. So I get that how a dog is with a 2 year old visitor is not necessarily how the dog is with or will be with your own child. That said, it's a big dog (our dog is only 12kg) who can do a lot of damage and has shown that he is aggressive to humans so you really need to be very very careful and I wouldn't feel comfortable with such a young child unless you can keep them separate.

In our case, we have to manage and plan around any visitor, especially children, as she has nipped guests before (in her case, it's the classic fear based in for a nip of the legs/ankles from behind). We do that using various combinations of putting her in the garden, muzzling her, stair gates and a crate. It's not easy as we have a busy household but it'd be awful if she really hurt someone, especially a child.

So I would definitely say rehome (carefully) in the first instance. The dog is too big a risk with children around having shown aggression to your nephew, even if it is only stranger aggression. In the meantime, you'll have to manage the situation. Keep the baby and dog apart - get the dog crate trained (that's a big help for us when needed), use stairgates, get a muzzle (a basket one that allows the dog to drink and pant). Since you know the dog is aggressive, you've got to take steps to make sure everyone who is in or comes to your house is safe.

Ehhh, you don’t understand my dog. He is very tolerant when it comes to our family, he isn’t threatened by us. But thanks

Neither do you. He was fine with the friend and MIL until he wasn't.