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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to rehome a dog

158 replies

Newmama93 · 08/10/2021 05:13

I’m in a horrible situation, I’ve rehomed a dog before,I had two dogs, both were XL American bullies, my male was attacking my other female dog repeatively, with a baby on the way we found the male a beautiful property where we see daily photos of him and he is so happy. That almost killed me! DH then proposed to me with another dog for our female as she developed severe seperation anxiety once our male was gone (even though she was scared and hid from him all day prior) I was shocked that he bought another dog and also a big dog which I did not want. Fast forward a year and this dog is aggressive toward other animals, people and kids. He is good with my 6 month old and mum, that is it. I still do t trust him. He is aggressive toward people we have come to the house (friends and family) and I’m so anxious constantly whenever someone wants to come over and see my son.

I am such an animal lover, I donate to a shelter monthly, I would never have imagined giving up my first dog let alone two but I really can’t cope with this aggression. He’s a 60kg dog.

What would you do? I can’t stop crying, I can’t eat. DH is not on board and says just put him outside away from everyone but I’m so anxious someone will accidentally walk outside and I also feel it’s a bad life for him.

Please no judgement - I would never dump my dog at a shelter or anything like that. I’d keep him if we couldn’t find anyone to take him.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 09/10/2021 11:12

@HikingforScenery I’ve never heard of anyone being proposed to with a dog. I’d this common among “animal lovers”? proposed as in suggested nothing to do with marriage.

icedcoffees · 09/10/2021 11:14

Ehhh, you don’t understand my dog. He is very tolerant when it comes to our family, he isn’t threatened by us. But thanks

For now.

Mymapuddlington · 09/10/2021 11:15

You need to rehome.
He was fine with friend and mil until he wasn’t, are you really going to wait until he kills your baby as that is what will happen.
Rehome the dog today. Tell your husband to stop being a tit and don’t get another dog.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 09/10/2021 11:17

This reply has been deleted

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WhenISnappedAndFarted · 09/10/2021 11:22

The dog may be okay with your family now but it's an aggressive dog has turned on people before and may with your family. You're putting your child and you and your husband in a dangerous situation.

I have two big dogs, one isn't great with other dogs since being attacked himself, he was fine before that but not now. Things change, things happen and dogs can always turn.

ViceLikeBlip · 09/10/2021 11:23

Have the dog put to sleep. He won't know anything about it (people don't think twice about putting animals under anaesthetic- this is no different as far as the animal is concerned) No sensible person would think any less of you (my own vet would give you a big hug and tell you you're doing the right thing)

You can't keep a large, unpredictable, aggressive dog, especially with a baby. It's a case of when, not if, something goes horribly wrong.

icedcoffees · 09/10/2021 11:25

@Mymapuddlington

You need to rehome. He was fine with friend and mil until he wasn’t, are you really going to wait until he kills your baby as that is what will happen. Rehome the dog today. Tell your husband to stop being a tit and don’t get another dog.
Rehoming this dog would be very very irresponsible.

It needs to be put to sleep.

Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 11:27

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Bellyups · 09/10/2021 11:30

Rehome the dog. And your partner

Silvercatowner · 09/10/2021 11:30

Ehhh, you don’t understand my dog. He is very tolerant when it comes to our family, he isn’t threatened by us. But thanks

I know very little about dogs - don't have one and probably never will. But even I suspect that this dog is a disaster waiting to happen. Poor thing. And yes, you are reinforcing the 'some dog owners are barking mad' stereotype.

KingsleyShacklebolt · 09/10/2021 11:30

Throw around all the insults you want OP. Personally, I feel more sorry for kids who are being put in danger by their mother's inability to make rational decisions around dangerous dogs, but there you go.

Skyla2005 · 09/10/2021 11:32

@KingsleyShacklebolt

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.
Yes and that is why I'm saying put him to sleep. There is no need to be rude or swear.
Ohwhatfunwehad · 09/10/2021 11:32

The reason people are saying to rehome both dogs is because it doesn't appear like you are equipped to have dogs right now.
Your solution for your girls separation anxiety is to get another dog. The last 2 haven't worked out, I imagine her behaviour is contributing to the scenario.

Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 11:33

Thanks - I have had enough advice so please feel free to not comment further.

Some people are quick to comment something over the internet without realising there’s a real life person behind the screen in a shit situation. Of course my son comes first, I don’t let them interact together or be near each other unless I’m holding my child and DH is home. I’ve taken steps to try and help the dog that I didn’t even get in the first place so try and have some compassion to a situation that is hard. I hope non of you who have made nasty comments have to be in a situation like this, it’s not easy.

Thank you to the people who gave helpful advice.

Goodnight

OP posts:
Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 11:34

@Ohwhatfunwehad

The reason people are saying to rehome both dogs is because it doesn't appear like you are equipped to have dogs right now. Your solution for your girls separation anxiety is to get another dog. The last 2 haven't worked out, I imagine her behaviour is contributing to the scenario.
Darling - I didn’t get another dog, if you put your glasses on and read, my DH surprised me with the other dog. I MAYBE further down the track would’ve gotten a small dog to keep her company.
OP posts:
habibibibi · 09/10/2021 11:34

@Newmama93
Go over to the doghouse. You'll be more helpful and constructive advice there. I got some great inputs in dealing with my dog (a few rehomes but mostly helpful!)

Skyla2005 · 09/10/2021 11:36

@ViceLikeBlip

Have the dog put to sleep. He won't know anything about it (people don't think twice about putting animals under anaesthetic- this is no different as far as the animal is concerned) No sensible person would think any less of you (my own vet would give you a big hug and tell you you're doing the right thing)

You can't keep a large, unpredictable, aggressive dog, especially with a baby. It's a case of when, not if, something goes horribly wrong.

This 100 percent. He will drift off peacefully and won't feel a thing.
Pices · 09/10/2021 11:38

This sounds like a very hard situation for you to deal with OP. A dog that isn't safe around children isn't safe around any children. You've been lulled into a false sense of security. Reactive unpredictable dogs are exactly the type to maul a child they were previously "fine" with. I know people are using upsetting strong language but it is because of the level of danger your child and child that enters your house is in, not to mention you....there are so many sad stories of women and children being killed by reactive bully breeds who were fine until they werent.

If your Dh isn't willing to give you a say in large dogs living in your house you've got bigger problems.

Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 11:41

@Pices

This sounds like a very hard situation for you to deal with OP. A dog that isn't safe around children isn't safe around any children. You've been lulled into a false sense of security. Reactive unpredictable dogs are exactly the type to maul a child they were previously "fine" with. I know people are using upsetting strong language but it is because of the level of danger your child and child that enters your house is in, not to mention you....there are so many sad stories of women and children being killed by reactive bully breeds who were fine until they werent.

If your Dh isn't willing to give you a say in large dogs living in your house you've got bigger problems.

Thank you, people are ridiculous sometimes and don’t understand. I keep my son safe, he is never around my dogs without being held by me or DH and I am very careful with any dog around my son. My DH is making this situation very difficult and he is t taking it seriously, he thinks he’s getting better but really I’m just not having anyone here or talking to people.
OP posts:
Mymapuddlington · 09/10/2021 11:44

Honestly I would tell DH to rehome the dog or you’re off to stay with friends until the dog is gone.
I know you’re careful but clearly DH isnt and however careful you are it only takes a split second.

Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 11:47

@Mymapuddlington

Honestly I would tell DH to rehome the dog or you’re off to stay with friends until the dog is gone. I know you’re careful but clearly DH isnt and however careful you are it only takes a split second.
I feel like I’m about to say it’s us or the dog. I’ve said this type of thing before and he just says he’ll send him to a board and train and if he isn’t better then he’s gone.. the thing is I don’t feel like training with change his genetic predisposition to be fearful and react at times when feeling threatened and even if he is “good” for a while, he isn’t a balanced dog I trust. So me and DH will never agree
OP posts:
Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 11:48

DH says he can’t believe I would rehome him over even trying the board and train...

OP posts:
Flowersintheattic2021 · 09/10/2021 11:51

There is a dog forum on here not sure if you knew? But also has he been neutered

Mymapuddlington · 09/10/2021 11:54

I know DH won’t be happy but yours and baby safety comes first and I’m sorry but it feels like he’s putting the dog before you.

I would Google rescues or ring the rspca or equivalent and sign the dog over then deal with the fall out. He needs to understand that enough is enough and you can’t live like this.

Marmelace · 09/10/2021 11:55

@Newmama93

I know. Thanks everyone, I’ll chat to him about this tomorrow and show him some of the comments to make him understand I’m not crazy!
Are you waiting for your partners permission over this dog? Why wait when your child could be at risk ffs!