Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wanting to rehome a dog

158 replies

Newmama93 · 08/10/2021 05:13

I’m in a horrible situation, I’ve rehomed a dog before,I had two dogs, both were XL American bullies, my male was attacking my other female dog repeatively, with a baby on the way we found the male a beautiful property where we see daily photos of him and he is so happy. That almost killed me! DH then proposed to me with another dog for our female as she developed severe seperation anxiety once our male was gone (even though she was scared and hid from him all day prior) I was shocked that he bought another dog and also a big dog which I did not want. Fast forward a year and this dog is aggressive toward other animals, people and kids. He is good with my 6 month old and mum, that is it. I still do t trust him. He is aggressive toward people we have come to the house (friends and family) and I’m so anxious constantly whenever someone wants to come over and see my son.

I am such an animal lover, I donate to a shelter monthly, I would never have imagined giving up my first dog let alone two but I really can’t cope with this aggression. He’s a 60kg dog.

What would you do? I can’t stop crying, I can’t eat. DH is not on board and says just put him outside away from everyone but I’m so anxious someone will accidentally walk outside and I also feel it’s a bad life for him.

Please no judgement - I would never dump my dog at a shelter or anything like that. I’d keep him if we couldn’t find anyone to take him.

OP posts:
lycrapants · 09/10/2021 07:19

Aggressive to a two year old? Surely that's your decision made immediately!

Lamplighter49 · 09/10/2021 07:28

An agressive dog in the house who you don’t trust and you have a baby? It’s an absolute no brainier, definitely rehome.
Then sort your DH out, he’s caused the problem this time. This is the first time I’ve ever heard of someone proposing with a dog too.

Mumofsend · 09/10/2021 07:59

Your 6 month old will turn into a 2 year old. Dog needs to go before then.

bozzabollix · 09/10/2021 08:12

Are there any behaviourists you can pay for? Fear aggression does has solutions that you can use to sort it out, but you’d need someone professional and it needs to be gentle (punishing the dog for fear aggression only makes them more fearful and escalates the problem). But I do question your husband’s choices, I hope this penchant for large heavy breeds isn’t some macho posturing, because that’s only going to make the situation worse. Separating the dog (who is a pack animal) from the rest of you is only going to compound the problem.

I think that if you get a big dog you have to have a lot of time to train, because you’ve got an animal that can overpower you physically, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be done. Lots of positive reinforcement and treats for good behaviour - that’s the kind of approach that should be taken.

bozzabollix · 09/10/2021 08:14

PS you have posted on what is the most dog fearful place on the internet, so do be aware that much of the advice here will be based on that!

hairybakers · 09/10/2021 08:19

Aggressive to a 2yo?! FFS op get your head out of your arse

Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 08:35

He is fear aggressive toward strangers, he feels threatened so yes that includes children and no that doesn’t include my child as he is part of the family.

OP posts:
Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 08:39

My child was a surprise, I hadn’t planned to have a child for another 10 years, that’s beside the point. I wouldn’t have an issue with my dog if it wasn’t aggressive.. yes agreed that is maybe a bias spot to post so I may leave it at that... thank you to some?

OP posts:
icedcoffees · 09/10/2021 08:44

I'm a dog lover but this is a disaster waiting to happen. You have a large, very strong breed of dog on your hands and he's aggressive and reactive to strangers, plus a six month old and family with small children who visit regularly.

Please, please either get this dog rehomed via a rescue or PTS. Honestly, I think PTS is the kinder option - a large, aggressive dog who is fear reactive will struggle to find anywhere else to go.

Have him PTS, put him out of his misery and keep your family safe. And if your DP tries to bring home any more dogs, tell him to fuck off Grin

HeartsAndClubs · 09/10/2021 08:50

IMO rehoming an aggressive dog is irresponsible, you’re just passing the problem on to someone else, and if/when that dog attacks someone and causes serious injury you will be partly culpable.

Also if that dog harmed someone else and it was ill-treated as a result you will be partly culpable.

The only responsible thing to do would be to have the dog put to sleep. There are enough unwanted dogs in rescue without adding a 60kg aggressive one who no-one in their right mind would recommend for rehoming in the mix.

No reputable rescue would agree to take on that kind of dog.

MargosKaftan · 09/10/2021 08:56

Rehome. Speak with your DP, what was he thinking, surprising you with a dog?! Q dog isn't a bunch of flowers or a weekend away, its a 15+ year commitment, part of the family, and you would be the one dealing with it most of the time. A pet of any kind needs to have the agreement of all adults in the household and assessed for how well it would fit in with your family and other pets.

Rehome. If your older dog can't settle without company of another dog, look at rehoming her or buying a different, more family friendly breed. But she might well settle after a while on her own rather than paying out for another dog, could you send her to a group doggy day care a couple of times a week? There's ones here who will pick up from your home and drop back.

catless · 09/10/2021 08:57

Get over your guilt and feeling 'horrid' and let your friend take the dog.

Scrollonthroughtherain · 09/10/2021 08:57

Get rid of it. A snap in the wrong direction and your baby child be horribly injured or dead.

SentDeliveredRead · 09/10/2021 09:00

You'd be rehoming to ease your guilt, that's not being a responsible, that's transferring the problem to someone else
Where exactly did your partner get this dog? I'm curious to know

HikingforScenery · 09/10/2021 09:00

I’ve never heard of anyone being proposed to with a dog. I’d this common among “animal lovers”?

MrsTerryPratchett · 09/10/2021 09:07

A massive bully breed that's aggressive to children? What the worst that could happen? Hmm

I'd rehome the DH and talk to a breed specific rescue to rehome(or PTS) the dog.

Pantah630 · 09/10/2021 09:11

@MrsTerryPratchett

A massive bully breed that's aggressive to children? What the worst that could happen? Hmm

I'd rehome the DH and talk to a breed specific rescue to rehome(or PTS) the dog.

^this
Bottleup · 09/10/2021 09:18

Please, please keep this dog completely away from your baby. And rehome him immediately.

Scrollonthroughtherain · 09/10/2021 09:31

that's transferring the problem to someone else

Absolutely reasonable thing to do when there's a baby in the house. Baby comes first over any dog, especially a vicious one.

SentDeliveredRead · 09/10/2021 09:46

I think putting a healthy animal down is generally wrong, however the OP has a very powerful aggressive and unpredictable animal and regrettably I think there is only one answer
These breeds were never meant to be domestic pets.
That's what I was getting at @Scrollonthroughtherain, sorry I should have been clearer

Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 09:55

Ahhh don’t start on the breed thing, you are wrong there. Fear aggressive is amongst every breed and although more dangerous in powerful dogs, they can very well be domestic dogs and the American bully was supposed to be bred for the perfect family pet, taking the drive out of the American staffy. Unfortunately we’ve gotten unlucky twice now, although I don’t discriminate against bull breeds, I will be getting a dog I can handle next incase issues arise with temperament as I’m only 5”4 and tiny lol

OP posts:
SentDeliveredRead · 09/10/2021 09:58

I love the breed personally but again, where did your partner get it from?

Original poster
Newmama93 · 09/10/2021 10:01

We are in Australia so I don’t think you’ll know and I’m not here to bash a breeder down

OP posts:
IamaBluebird · 09/10/2021 10:02

Why not rehome the aggressive dog straight away before someone gets hurt. Concentrate on giving your remaining dog a good life. Don’t get another dog regardless of size.

HomeSliceKnowsBest · 09/10/2021 10:03

This is awful OP. Rehome both dogs, through a reputable rehousing kennel. Do not get any more dogs. You cannot have either of your dogs around your baby/kids, neither sound reliable in their temperament or behaviour.