My son is 4 months old and he stayed the night at my MILs. This has been planned for weeks, prior to my son staying me and partner kept thanking MIL for offering to take our son for the night as he’s so young. MIL insisted we didn’t even need to thank her, she couldn’t wait to look after him for the night.
Now..bit of background, me and my partner have totally different views on parenting than my in laws. They often give unsolicited advice and brush off what we have to say as they say they have had two kids and know what they are doing. They have a bit of an old school approach I believe..they have often said they left my partner to cry as he had a temper as a baby and their own parents told them they needed to leave him to cry to “break him” (their own words) and show him who’s boss type thing..
Now..I never leave my son to cry. I’m really against it and so is my sons dad, which my in laws know. I was hesitant to leave my son with them because of this but my partner assured me his parents only
Did that to him as a baby and wouldn’t do that to our son.
Now Cut to Saturday night we decide to phone in laws to find out how they getting on at around 9 o clock. MIL answers and says “ he has some cry doesn’t he !!! Oh he reminds me just of you when you were a baby ! I thought that cry is just sheer temper ! So I put him in his cot and left him and checked in on him every 10 minutes and now he’s sleeping.” Me and my partner just stared at each other for a few seconds after she said this and he said “aw mum..please don’t leave him to cry” and she said “aw he’s fine ! He’s sleeping now” and I instantly burst in to tears..
I’m not being dramatic but I genuinely felt heartbroken that my little boy had been left there crying in his own..I know how upset he gets just being left crying for a few minutes while I’m at the toilet or I’m getting a bottle or
Something !
My partner wasn’t happy she had left him and decided to text his mum and ask her again please not to leave our son to cry and I was so upset. I started to feel really angry and He asked me to ohone his mum and I said no Because I will shout at her on the phone so I’m not going to speak to her the now. She then starts to phone my partner and he answers and blooming puts her on loudspeaker ! I couldn’t help myself and I shouted “don’t you dare ever leave my son to cry again !! How dare you !!” And my partner hung up the phone.
My partner then started to get messages from her and his dad saying how upset his mum was and she was in tears! He is a proper mummies boy and this immediately made him turn on me. He was shouting at me and saying things like his mum will always come before me and he can’t believe I’ve upset her and his mum is in tears etc and even that he doesn’t want to be with me he is totally finished with me ! His mum keeps messaging him that she is soo upset, in tears and then changes her tune completely and says that in fact she never left our baby to cry at all and she would never ! That he got lots of kisses and cuddles and lovely warm milk and yes he was crying but she sat with
Him the whole time stroking his head...so now my partner is even more angry at me because he has suddenly forgot what his mum said in the first place? Like what she said was pretty black and white to me..she definitely admitted to leaving him to cry ..my partner even said the same at the time and wasn’t happy either so what ?!
I’ve never argued with my in laws once and always gotten on well with them. They’ve treated me like a daughter and said numerous times I was the best thing to happen to their son and have now completely turned on me because of this I feel and I just find the whole thing crazy. I don’t know if it’s just because I’m shy and never stood up to them before so now they’re not happy..
The next day in laws were meant to drop my son off at our house but wouldn’t as his mum was still in tears apparently and his dad waited for me to go out before bringing my son home .. I tried phoning MIL twice and she never answered. I the. Messaged her apologising for shouting and thanking her for doing us a favour and she never replied..that night partner kicks off at me again. Apparently his mum had messaged him saying she is still crying and upset by everything and the next day she says she doesn’t feel she has anything to live for.. he’s telling me I need to phone her and I try explaining that I already have and she hasn’t
Answered or tried phoning back and he just gets angrier and angrier with me and says I need to keep trying.. and need to keep apologising to her.
I’m just really taken aback by the whole thing..it’s been days and my partner is still off with me and if I’m honest I can actually see this being the end of us ..I mean for godsake he thinks that ive made his mother suicidal. yes I shouldn’t have shouted at her and she was doing us a big favour but she shouldn’t have done that still and why is no one telling her she’s overreacting ! I’m just so shocked by this whole situation...please tell my I’m not being unreasonable