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AIBU?

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Original poster

Big row about expensive belt

456 replies

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 20:31

DS 17 loves expensive clothes and designer labels. He currently wants a Louis Vuitton belt which costs £400. His Dad and I think it’s ridiculous to spend this amount of money on a belt. He asked us if he could have it for Christmas we said no. He knows our budget for him and his brother is £500 each so he has asked why as it’s within budget. We have responded because it’s a ridiculous waste of money.

He has a part time job and earns about £150 per week. He has just taken on an extra shift because he wants extra money for the belt. His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is, but I guess it’s his money and therefore his choice.

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money. It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking. He is now saying we are favouring his brother as we have already got his Christmas present which cost £500 which he saw arrive in the post a few days ago.

I don’t know how I can fix this? What should I do?

OP posts:
Mistymountain · 05/10/2021 21:20

I'd have bought the belt for Christmas, it's less than £500 and he actually knows what he wants! I don't really see the issue about buying it

MrsRobbieHart · 05/10/2021 21:20

My 16yo earns a similar wage and has just spent a grand on a computer. He pays into the house so the rest of his wage is his own. I say more power to your elbow son, spend your money on stuff you want while you can. Before the drudgery of life and bills and children take it all Grin

Snowisfallinghere · 05/10/2021 21:20

I completely disagree with those who have said that a Christmas present should be whatever the person wants as long as it's within budget. If the recipient gets to choose whatever they want and it's not going to be a surprise, you may as well just give cash. Age 7 or age 17, I won't be spending money giving gifts that I think are a complete waste of money, just because they're on the wish list.

However, if he is earning his own money it's definitely his choice how to spend it, no matter how foolish. I wasted all my earnings at that age on clothes from Topshop and New Look etc, none of which are in my wardrobe now. If I'd just saved it bought a designer belt or handbag I'd probably still have it now. Although, that wouldn't have brought me as much joy at the time... But yes, once I moved out to uni I massively regretted not saving some of it. I don't think this lesson can be taught by a parent though, you have to learn from your own mistakes at that age!

It's hard to teach teens about materialism.

blushmint · 05/10/2021 21:21

Okay this happened to me 10 years ago for my 18th. My mum bought me the bag. The bag was around £570 at the time.

It's now worth £1030.
It's Louis Vuitton. Louis Vuitton actually goes up in price ALOT.
So buy it him, consider it a investment.

I still have my bag. No it didn't make me greedy. I adored it. I have several now with my own money and always look at my first designer bag with so much love because my mum got it me.

Just make him happy!

ChikiTIKI · 05/10/2021 21:21

I often remind my 3 year old that a gift is something that someone else wants to give you and is not always the exact thing you hoped for. Maybe remind your son of this?

justasking111 · 05/10/2021 21:22

My DS is into designer gear has been for a few years but he is canny. He will buy at Cheshire Oaks or follow the sales. He's been following a designer office chair all summer in a shop. It was hundreds of pounds he finally snapped it up at just over £100 . At Cheshire oaks he bought a designer belt and a designer watch after working all summer.

I would say to DS Google wait for sales boxing Day he may nab it cheaper

TatianaBis · 05/10/2021 21:22

PS 5

Well I think that's a complete waste of time too so I don't think you can argue that it has any superior merit to a belt.

I'd have said no to both personally.

ThePlumVan · 05/10/2021 21:23

I watched a program about how quality belts are made - there’s a surprising amount of skilled work that goes into each one, hence why so expensive!

(Not this expensive tho I admit !)

His (poor) choice Grin

Original poster
PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 21:23

I think we are just a bit miffed as he is supposed to be saving for a car and he just spends all his money on take aways, Budweiser and expensive clothes and accessories. We purposely don’t charge him any rent to save and he just spends - with these extra shifts he’ll be bringing home over £250 per wk

OP posts:
bravelittlepenguin · 05/10/2021 21:23

You spend £500 per child at Christmas?!

Covetthee · 05/10/2021 21:23

Just buy the kid the belt, its within budget and if he keeps it in good condition it can have a good res-sell value if he gets bored or feels he has no use for it. Or as others suggested, at least pay partially towards it

Bit mean to say their budget comes with conditions, and definitely shouldn’t be telling him what to spend his wages on, most kids earning a wage wont have much to show for their money and if he wants a belt, he might feel pride in being able to have got it himself.

neverornow · 05/10/2021 21:24

Unpopular opinion possibly but I think I'd rather he invest in a good, decent belt than waste it on junk. My niece will often spend spend £40 on a top or dress and only wear it once.

I'd meet him half way and give him £200 from his Xmas present budget towards it.

VenusTiger · 05/10/2021 21:25

Perfect opportunity for him to learn the value of money OP - so 'let' him spend his hard earned money on it. If he loses it or gets it nicked, he'll realise TK Maxx was a better option.

MolkosTeenageAngst · 05/10/2021 21:25

I mean is a PS5 really any less of a waste of money? I doubt his brother is going to be using it to do anything productive, likely just to play games when he could be doing schoolwork or getting out and about. And the games all cost more on top of the console, without the games it’s useless so it’s only as useful as the money you spend on it. Moreover in a few years it will be out of date as they’ll have brought out a new console.

At least a belt is functional, at £500 will probably look fairly smart and it could likely last him decades.

Can you reasonably articulate how a PlayStation is less of a waste/ less of a frivolous purchase than a belt?

GetMeOut22 · 05/10/2021 21:25

Your last post is quite important, that should be in the OP. So he's supposed to be saving for a car- why? Is the consequence of not buying a car that you still need to drive him around? If so, you absolutely have a say in how he spends his money. He can't blow his money on a belt and expect his mummy to chauffeur him around.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 05/10/2021 21:25

How many hours is part-time, for a 17 yo to bring home £150 a week?

lilacdinosaur · 05/10/2021 21:25

So charge rent and bills and get him used to how money works in the real world?
If you don't need it then save it for him for when he moves out. with £500 each spent on a Christmas present though it's no wonder he doesn't get the meaning of money.

NameChangeinHaste · 05/10/2021 21:26

I’m with your DS on this. I suspect he’ll still be wearing the belt long after your other DS has decided that he needs the latest PlayStation, and that the PS5 is no longer up to par.
I’d rather have one or two nicer gifts, than lots of bits that I don’t really want.
However, I think you should consider charging something for his board, even if you save it up for him. He needs to realise that his wages have to cover more than just his wants.

KarmaStar · 05/10/2021 21:26

Let him but it,if he has to go without until next pay day his look out.
To you it's a waste of money but it means a lot to him and he's prepared to work for it so on that basis,yabvu.Let him make his own decisions and mistakes.

Chewbecca · 05/10/2021 21:27

I agree it’s a terrible waste of money, BUT, YABU, it is his money to waste & he needs to learn money management for himself. He’s already doing pretty well on that front with a well paying PT job and the willingness to work more for something he wants.

MrsRobbieHart · 05/10/2021 21:28

Is the consequence of not buying a car that you still need to drive him around? If so, you absolutely have a say in how he spends his money.

No she has a say in whether she gives him lifts.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 05/10/2021 21:28

With extra shifts he'll be earning over a grand a month? Alongside school/college? What is the job?

midsomermurderess · 05/10/2021 21:29

'chavsville designer tat'. Oh do pack it in.

whynotwhatknot · 05/10/2021 21:29

If hes meant to be aving for a car then yes its ott-i assume you were chipping in with the car but he needs to save some aswell

YouTubeAddict · 05/10/2021 21:29

So you’d rather spend £500 on things he doesn’t want??

And you think HE’S the one being unreasonable 🤷‍♀️ 😂