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AIBU?

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Original poster

Big row about expensive belt

456 replies

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 20:31

DS 17 loves expensive clothes and designer labels. He currently wants a Louis Vuitton belt which costs £400. His Dad and I think it’s ridiculous to spend this amount of money on a belt. He asked us if he could have it for Christmas we said no. He knows our budget for him and his brother is £500 each so he has asked why as it’s within budget. We have responded because it’s a ridiculous waste of money.

He has a part time job and earns about £150 per week. He has just taken on an extra shift because he wants extra money for the belt. His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is, but I guess it’s his money and therefore his choice.

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money. It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking. He is now saying we are favouring his brother as we have already got his Christmas present which cost £500 which he saw arrive in the post a few days ago.

I don’t know how I can fix this? What should I do?

OP posts:
AmyDudley · 05/10/2021 20:55

I don't see a problem if he wants to spend his wages on an obscenely expensive belt - that's his choice, it may well bring him £400 worth of pleasure, who knows. Like you I would baulk at spending my own hard earned money on that item - so i think fair enough to say you don;t want to get that for him for Christmas, but fine for him to buy it himself.

Out of interest, what is his brother getting for Christmas - is it something that could be considered frivolous - does he have a point about you being easier on the brother, because you deep down don't approve of his love of designer/expensive clothing ? (I agree with you - I hate spending on that kind of thing, but I realise many things I buy others would think were silly).

RoseHarper · 05/10/2021 20:57

I'm in the buy him the belt camp. It is a massive amount for a single item, but if it's something he really wants and appreciates, and within budget why would you not? From an environmental pov if nothing else, it's one item he'll enjoy and appreciate and probably keep and wear for years, so am investment. The alternative is lots of small things that he wont appreciate and will end up in landfill.

remodelideas · 05/10/2021 20:58

£500 per child?!

That's where you're going wrong in the first instance.

Buy him the belt, and inform him that from next year as he is now an adult the budget is £100 each. Unless he would also like to stick to a £500 budget for his parents and brother?

wtfisthatspiderdoing · 05/10/2021 20:58

@TigerBilly if he's into designer stuff he will definitely know the difference. Plus the packaging won't be the same.

CathyorClaire · 05/10/2021 20:58

DM absolutely ruined my enjoyment of a book I'd bought with my own Saturday job money by going on and on and on about the waste of money.

It never came out of the shop bag and I've recently sold it as a collectible on eBay but I still remember the resentment I felt at the time.

It's his money. He may well live to regret the purchase but it's his mistake to make.

HouseOfFire · 05/10/2021 20:58

if that is what he wants for Christmas, then get it for him?

Surely Christmas is the time when you spend money on friparies - if it makes him happy, its his christmas budget

LaurieFairyCake · 05/10/2021 20:59

Seriously OP - what shit have you wasted money on over the years?

I've pissed thousands on drink, holidays, stupid endless pairs of shoes - fuck me it's never ending Grin

He has to learn for himself what his priorities are and what it's really worth for HIMSELF

Do not argue about crap like this - it's fantastic he's prepared to do extra (crappy?) work just to buy this belt

bakingdemon · 05/10/2021 20:59

£500 is an absolutely massive budget for one person's Christmas presents!

christmassausages · 05/10/2021 21:01

Do you have a link to The Belt? Just being nosy as to what a £400 belt looks like Grin

FOJN · 05/10/2021 21:01

Men's Louis Vuitton belts for those who want to know what the look like.

uk.louisvuitton.com/eng-gb/men/accessories/belts/_/N-1pu656fZ12he34e

Mrgrinch · 05/10/2021 21:02

Absolutely ridiculous to give him a budget for Christmas and then dictate what he can and can't spend it on.

How much money have you wasted over the years on toys and other crap that was barely used when he was a child?

What's your alternative, spend £500 on something he doesn't want?

Standrewsschool · 05/10/2021 21:05

I agree it’s a waste of money, but if wants to spend his money, then let him. He’ll either love it, and it’ll be a worthwhile investment, or he’ll regret it and will learn a lesson.

HappyDays101010 · 05/10/2021 21:05

Are you scared he’s gay. Is that why your DH has over reacted to this?

itsallgoingpearshaped · 05/10/2021 21:05

I'd let him get it since he's adamant that's what he wants, BUT I would make it clear you won't be buying him other necessities or covering bills/costs because he spent all his money on a belt.

Anything he is normally responsible for he will continue to be responsible for. If he goes without, make it clear it's tough shit.

He's an idiot, but he needs to learn the hard way.

Naunet · 05/10/2021 21:06

@helpfulperson

Many women spend twice that on bags etc. If he wears it every day for a year then the price per wear is reasonable. I would argue 500 is lot for a Christmas budget. What is his brother getting and why is it better than a belt?
Grown women paying with their own money, sure. 17 year old girls, not so much!

I understand you not wanting to get it for him for Christmas, but he should be able to get it with his own money, that’s his choice. It also might be a good lesson for him about the value of money, ie, he might value it far more if he’s saved and paid for it himself.

Lou98 · 05/10/2021 21:06

Your Husband is being Massively UR in "going mad at him" for taking on extra shifts to buy the belt because he thinks it's a waste of money - it's nobody's business what he spends his wages on as he's earning the money himself. Everyone has different preferences on what to spend their money on, just because you and your H think it's ridiculous, doesn't mean he has to feel the same when he's funding it himself.

Although I do also think YABU for not getting him it for Christmas. While I agree it's a lot for a belt and not something I'd ever buy, you've told him he has a budget of £500, it's within budget, why not get it rather than get something he might not want (which in my opinion would be a bigger waste than something he'd actually use)

bonfireheart · 05/10/2021 21:06

Not RTFT but what is an acceptable present then cos most things teeangers will ask for could be considered "pointless" ie PlayStation. As its designer am sure it'll be worth something if he then sold it.
You only live once. Esp if he is putting in thr extra hours to earn it.

Mrgrinch · 05/10/2021 21:06

@HappyDays101010

Are you scared he’s gay. Is that why your DH has over reacted to this?
What a ridiculous assumption. What in the world has a designer belt got to do with sexuality?
MrsRobbieHart · 05/10/2021 21:08

@TigerBilly

Buy him a fake LV belt. Bet he wouldn’t know the difference. If he wants expensive clothing on £150 a week, show him the value of money by making him pay his way now he is earning.
God some people really hate teens just for the sake of it, don’t they?
MrsRetreiver · 05/10/2021 21:08

@HappyDays101010

Are you scared he’s gay. Is that why your DH has over reacted to this?
What?!
MrsRobbieHart · 05/10/2021 21:09

@HappyDays101010

Are you scared he’s gay. Is that why your DH has over reacted to this?
Confused

Are belts a secret symbol for being gay?

GetMeOut22 · 05/10/2021 21:09

Hmm I disagree with posters that say that as long as he's paying for it himself, it's ok. Because if he spends all his earnings on it, then you'll have to pay for other stuff he can't pay for anymore. Or is he going to buy the belt and not go out or learn to drive? Doubt it. So you then have to give him more money because you couldn't buy him the useful stuff for Christmas or because he has no pocket money to go out with mates.

As to picking up an extra shift - is this at the expense of school work? Because if it is or he's too tired at school on Monday because of it, that's not ok.

As long as he's under your roof, you get a say. When he leaves, he can do whatever he wants. And I'll bet £400 he won't be buying LV belts when he's faced with having to pay the rent unless he's a total dumbass in which case there are bigger problems at play.

And all these posters going on about Christmas being a treat, are you kidding me? He's a child, he doesn't need pampering. Everyone I know buys their teenagers some nice stuff but also useful stuff for Xmas, like PJs, books, things they can use.

midsomermurderess · 05/10/2021 21:10

If your Christmas present budget for him is £500, just buy him the belt. It would be an even bigger waste of money to spend that on things he doesn't want. What a daft thing to have an enormous row about, he clearly isn't suddenly going to be won over to what you think is reasonable.

olidora63 · 05/10/2021 21:11

So if he wanted a £400 watch would that be ok? I just think that if he wants to spend his money on the belt and is prepared to save up for it ..good for him . I really would let it go .

MrsRobbieHart · 05/10/2021 21:11

I'd let him get it since he's adamant that's what he wants

It’s not up to OP to “let” him. It’s his money, he doesn’t need her permission, he doesn’t need her to log on to the laptop for him to order it, he doesn’t need her credit card. He can just buy it. Whether she “lets” him or not. Grin