Big row about expensive belt

[PegorySpeck]

DS 17 loves expensive clothes and designer labels. He currently wants a Louis Vuitton belt which costs £400. His Dad and I think it’s ridiculous to spend this amount of money on a belt. He asked us if he could have it for Christmas we said no. He knows our budget for him and his brother is £500 each so he has asked why as it’s within budget. We have responded because it’s a ridiculous waste of money.

He has a part time job and earns about £150 per week. He has just taken on an extra shift because he wants extra money for the belt. His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is, but I guess it’s his money and therefore his choice.

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money. It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking. He is now saying we are favouring his brother as we have already got his Christmas present which cost £500 which he saw arrive in the post a few days ago.

I don’t know how I can fix this? What should I do?

@WormYourHonour

Where has he learnt these expensive tastes? And of he wants to keep them up, he must earn them. Then it's time to teach him the value of money, not the cost of things. he's old enough to pay rent, pay toward bills like electric, gas, water, council tax, internet. So on and so on.

Yes, my concern would be more about whether he is setting himself up for a lifestyle that won't be sustainable once he is an independent adult. Worse still, that he is setting a lot of store by something very superficial rather than developing in more meaningful ways. I think you are right to decline to buy it as a gift on the basis that you don't agree with £400 belts, though I don't see that you can stop him from spending his own money.

If he's taking on extra shifts you might remind him that to earn good money in the real world he needs to get good A level grades. So if money is important to him that's where he should be investing his time..

IMO a PS5 is a bigger waste of money than the belt. The belt will hold its value and could even go up. Meanwhile the PS5 loses value the second it's opened and halves in value when the next model comes out.

Not sure why gaming is somehow a more worthy hobby / interest than fashion either.

I think YABU to get one a console he wants and not to get the other the belt he wants. And YABVVVVVVU to tell him how to spend the money he earns himself.

Yes he's supposed to be saving for a car, and this means that might take longer. But that's his choice.

Or is he going to buy the belt and not go out or learn to drive? Doubt it. So you then have to give him more money because you couldn't buy him the useful stuff for Christmas or because he has no pocket money to go out with mates

Why would OP 'have' to sub driving lessons or nights out? It's not a catastrophe if other things are on hold for a few months while he earns it all over again.

Opportunity cost is a great life lesson.

@midsomermurderess

'chavsville designer tat'. Oh do pack it in.

Backatcha.

It's hugely expensive but people spend more on video gaming consoles and other plastic junk.

Maybe he'll turn out to be the type that buys nice leather goods and uses them appreciatively for life. I have friends with lovely decades-old leather accessories, satchels and the like. One and done forever rather than cheap disposable items year after year.

if you're spending £500 on Xmas presents per child, AND he earns his own money, there is no reason he shouldn't have it.

I've just remembered that my first car cost £400 in 1989.

I agree with other, how can you say that objectively £500 on a PS 5 is. money better spent than on the belt your son wants?

Whilst I think a £400 belt is stupid, I think it's even stupider to spend £400 on stuff he doesn't want, which is clearly what you plan to do.

It can be difficult buying expensive presents that aren't to your own taste, but ultimately, it's about bringing joy to the recipient of the present, not the giver.

@YouTubeAddict

So you’d rather spend £500 on things he doesn’t want??

And you think HE’S the one being unreasonable 🤷‍♀️ 😂

Absolutely agree

@DietrichandDiMaggio

How many hours is part-time, for a 17 yo to bring home £150 a week?

At Asda it would be around 16 hours a week. I do Asda as a part time job on top of my full time job and do four hours in the AM four days a week and this equals around £150 a week. Depending on the job and pay it's doable. If there's weekend work involved and they are doing 8 hour shifts that's more

IMO a PS5 is a bigger waste of money than the belt. The belt will hold its value and could even go up. Meanwhile the PS5 loses value the second it's opened and halves in value when the next model comes out.

You don't buy games console for value or investment. You buy it for pleasure.

It’s about perceived value, what is something worth that to him isn’t going to be the same as yours. It’s important to him.

Oh Tatiana; you never stop do, you just never stop. Hyacinth Bucket-sneering all over the place.

Ha. I knew it would be a console. As a teacher I wish more of my students wanted designer belts instead of consoles. Not that many get them.

Any chance your DH plays/played video games so sees the benefit/worth in a PS5 more?

A louis Vuitton belt is the only kind that will appreciate in value. If he buys a unique type he’ll probably get more than he paid for it if he sold it further down the line.

It’s his money. He is entitled to spend it on a belt. We have all bought things (or wish we could have afforded to) that others would say were a waste of money. I think you and his father need to respect his decision. Why are you trying to control what he chooses to spend his money on? He isn’t a little kid!

As an aside, is it just me who thinks £500 each is a huge amount to spend on Christmas presents for older kids? Or am I just out of touch (my youngest is 39)? No disrespect to you on this OP. It’s your choice. I’m just a bit taken aback!

I 100% would not spend that sort of money on a belt as a present, no matter how much he thought he wanted it.

You can't stop him spending his own wages on it though. But I think you're fully entitled to tell him you think it's ridiculous.

£500 seems like an enormous present budget to me anyway though. He doesn't seem to have much idea of the value of money, or that presents are a luxury not a right.

I would definitely buy it for him
Can't really see the issue as long as it is within the budget
Always get mine what they asked for as long as (roughly ) within budget
Lots of things over the years I have thought were a total waste of £,but it is what they wanted

An LV belt is well worth it although if at all possible don’t order online - far more enjoyable to make it a day out and go to the shop and let him enjoy the experience of choosing it and having it wrapped! Maybe ring ahead and make an appointment with one of the sales assistants and tell them it’s his first LV item so they will be extra lovely to him. It’s great fun buying designer stuff!

And if he’s there he can consider other small leather goods too just in case something different catches his eye. Wallets, card holders, key wallets - all useful.

If you can’t be daft with money when you’re young, when can you? Nice things can inspire young people to work hard and earn well, so they can buy more. Better than rotting his brain in front of a PS5!!!

He'll learn soon enough he won't be able to have a car won't he.

I'm struggling with the £500 Xmas budget for presents tbh and we are pretty wealthy.

DS would never, ever have wanted or asked for a £400 belt because he knows what the answer would have been. When he was 17 we were spending about £20k pa on his school fees.

I think you and your ds need a long hard think about priorities.

@Ozanj

A louis Vuitton belt is the only kind that will appreciate in value. If he buys a unique type he’ll probably get more than he paid for it if he sold it further down the line.

Quite!

Oh my god. When he was seven and asked for some plastic tat for Christmas did you tell him no because you thought it was a pointless gift??? He’s your son, you’ve given him a budget and he’s chosen something within budget. Just buy the bloody belt and make the kid happy on Christmas Day

It's his money let him buy it and pay for it.
DD had her first LV bag at 16. She pooled all her money from birthday, Christmas etc. She has a good job now which luckily keeps her in the way she aspired to at 16