Big row about expensive belt

[PegorySpeck]

DS 17 loves expensive clothes and designer labels. He currently wants a Louis Vuitton belt which costs £400. His Dad and I think it’s ridiculous to spend this amount of money on a belt. He asked us if he could have it for Christmas we said no. He knows our budget for him and his brother is £500 each so he has asked why as it’s within budget. We have responded because it’s a ridiculous waste of money.

He has a part time job and earns about £150 per week. He has just taken on an extra shift because he wants extra money for the belt. His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is, but I guess it’s his money and therefore his choice.

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money. It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking. He is now saying we are favouring his brother as we have already got his Christmas present which cost £500 which he saw arrive in the post a few days ago.

I don’t know how I can fix this? What should I do?

How to fix it is to let him decide what to spend his Christmas money on. He’s not a little boy anymore. Let him have the belt.

I’m sure in another 12 months he’ll be kicking himself for spending £400 quid on a belt, but you have to let him start making his own decisions.

You do need to stop being controlling frankly. He is quite right it is within budget and you asked him. You can't then say no don't approve if the purchase is perfectly legal albeit a waste of money IN YOUR VIEW. Sometimes they have to learn the hard way

No way would I buy that for one of my kids

My husbands parents treated him like this when he was younger and he has a terrible relationship with them now.
DH saved up from his first proper job and bought himself a Tag watch, his parents told him how ridiculous it was, ‘who did he think he was’, waste of money etc, he’s never forgotten it.

Not exactly the same situation but I think YABU.

My takeaway from this thread is that some people have more money than sense and are somehow surprised when their kids turn out the same way

Also designer gear is just naff and try hard. Thought so when I was a teen and still think so now.

My brother was like this though. But without the budget. Sucked for him I guess.

BeaLola

MrsSkylerWhite
It’s his money. There’s nothing you can (or should) do.
He’ll wake up one day and realise how stupid it was to spend £400 on a belt. Life lesson learned, hopefully.

Perhaps he will wake up in his 60s and think - how great I've had this belt for nearly 59 years“

Yes, he might.

(Sadly, if I still had a belt I’d bought at 16, it wouldn’t meet in the middle now

My DS bought a designer belt at 18 aged 41 he still wears it. That's a smart investment

I spent £5,000 on a Chanel jacket. Because I got a job I'd always wanted and had worked towards for years, because my husband's cancer went into remission, because I could afford it, because we were in Paris celebrating....I love it, love wearing it - yes it cost a fortune but it is so meaningful to me - a £50 jobbie from Zara (every other jacket I have ever had) isn't the same....

The money he earns is his to spend as he wishes.
How can anyone even suggest differently?

To be honest, the belt will probably last longer than the latest tech. I’d probably just buy it for him BUT you’d be missing a real opportunity here if you didn’t use this situation to introduce him to designer re-sale sites. He could possibly get the same belt in great condition for less himself or realise that there’s an option to re-sell existing items he no longer wears. It’s great that he and you have the money for this, but learning how to be a savvy shopper is a good life skill.

my sons 21 spends a fortune on yugi oh cards and pokemon cards, sometimes 60 quid for 1 card, I have a silent break down but he earns it so up to him what he buys but I agree its such a waste of money

Great parenting, so easy to just say yes these days.

Change the budget, now it’s £200 for him until he learns the value of money.

What do you want him to spend the £500 on?

Thats a lot of money. Whats to stop him frittering it away in junk and tat?

Honestly, there are a lot worse things your son could be buying than an expensive belt.

Yes, £400 is ridiculous for a belt, but many teenagers spend the exact same amount of money over a few months on alcohol and other substances. If it's how he wants to spend his money that he earned himself, I'd let him.

Leave the boy to spend his money as he feels fit. He could be spending it on cannabis, beer or cigarettes.

Personally I’d rather have the belt than a PS5

Let him live & be young (& maybe foolish with his money).

@PegorySpeck -it seems you’ve come to the conclusion to let him buy the belt with his own money.
Some posters are saying many things about you spending £500 on each of your boys. I agree with you. Spend what you can afford and just because you spend that doesn’t make your children spoilt.

I spend what I want on my DD. Sometimes it’s a lot sometimes it’s not.

If we have an argument about anything from her attitude to school results or just helping around the house, I don’t ever think I’m going to stop spending on her. The two things are separate and I would like to think that I can teach my daughter good behaviour and values while spoiling her now and again.

An argument about not being able to get something is just that am argument! I wouldn’t call it a tantrum.

Tell him you'd rather not spend Christmas money on the belt as it's a waste. I would allow him to use the money from his job - he's only young once.

He can't blow his money on a belt and expect his mummy to chauffeur him around.

This is it for me. I can’t piss my money away on designer clothes and expect someone else to pay the bills or suffer the consequences, so neither would I allow my teenager to do the same.

If he is saving for a car, I’d sit with him and work out an appropriate amount to save, being sure he knows all the hidden costs and oncosts, give him a timescale of when he should be able to buy the car and after that he would be on his own with where he needs to get to. If he is borrowing yours or relying on you for lifts, that stops on X-date. If he chooses to piss away money on other stuff, that’s his look out.

I’m not sure I could bring myself to pay for it as a Christmas gift, but I would wonder where my child got the idea that spending that amount on a small accessory was something that should be done. It he wants it to be flashy, isn’t that a problem for a teenager from a household that obviously isn’t a Luis Vuitton target customer?

He’s lucky we’ve got plenty of money

He’s going to save towards a car after he’s got the belt, but he knows he has a lot of money in a trust fund he’ll get when he’s 18 so he’s not too bothered about how much he saves

I’d you’ve already told him he has a trust fund, why are you even posting here?

This is such a non-stealthy bragging thread.

No one cares what some random kid is getting for Christmas.

I bought my daughter a very expensive belt a couple of Christmases ago. It’s all she had. But she’s worn and worn it and, I have to admit, I can’t even remember what stuff the other two had.

Budget =£500 (why? Ridiculous amount).
Belt = £400. Less than budget.

I think this highlights you are spending too much on Christmas presents. If you've spent £500 on one already, why can the other not have something they really want, even if you don't understand the value to them?

If you'd given vouchers this is what they would have chosen, so let them.

I find it more inappropriate to be buying your 17 year old expensive vodka. That really does seem like a waste of money!

I’m stuck at £500 budget for a Christmas present

Shell4429 me too! I can't imagine having that kind of budget for Christmas presents, and even worse- my DC knowing about it!