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Original poster

Big row about expensive belt

456 replies

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 20:31

DS 17 loves expensive clothes and designer labels. He currently wants a Louis Vuitton belt which costs £400. His Dad and I think it’s ridiculous to spend this amount of money on a belt. He asked us if he could have it for Christmas we said no. He knows our budget for him and his brother is £500 each so he has asked why as it’s within budget. We have responded because it’s a ridiculous waste of money.

He has a part time job and earns about £150 per week. He has just taken on an extra shift because he wants extra money for the belt. His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is, but I guess it’s his money and therefore his choice.

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money. It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking. He is now saying we are favouring his brother as we have already got his Christmas present which cost £500 which he saw arrive in the post a few days ago.

I don’t know how I can fix this? What should I do?

OP posts:
DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 06/10/2021 00:24

@BadNomad

What is so outragous about spending £500 on your child at Christmas!? Sure it's probably too much to spend on plastic tat for a two-year-old, but for teenagers into technology it's not going to get you much. It's not the 90's anymore.
It's so that posters can raise there hands in oh such shock horror and pour bile on the shocking moral vacuums that have more money than they do.

Presumably these posters all give their children a lump of coal abd an orange.

tttigress · 06/10/2021 00:24

Mixed feelings, obviously it seems like a crazy amount of money, but I have spent money in ways that some would think we're stupid to make me happy.

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 06/10/2021 00:26

Whoops. Their hands not there hands.

Although this being MN I'm sure someone will be along in a minute to point out my error.

BadNomad · 06/10/2021 00:32

@DaphneDeloresMoorhead

Whoops. Their hands not there hands.

Although this being MN I'm sure someone will be along in a minute to point out my error.

*their

Kidding!

It's like that cereal thread. I'm still reading it. I'm going to eat a spoonful of sugar every time someone mentions nut butter or avocado.

BTW The Range is selling rock painting sets. With rocks included! That sounds up Mumsnetters' allies. I'm not sure if they are free-range rocks though. Sorry.

starrynight21 · 06/10/2021 00:35

Buy it ! He'll still be wearing that beautiful ( and well made) belt long after his brother's 2021 gifts are long gone. Good quality leather can last a lifetime, he has good taste.

beetr00 · 06/10/2021 00:43

@PegorySpeck Could this be an alternative?

www.vestiairecollective.com/men-accessories/belts/louis-vuitton/#country=GB

CatKittyCatCatKittyCatCat · 06/10/2021 00:57

My rule for this kind of thing for myself is “will it work out at £1 a wear?”

Summerdayshaze · 06/10/2021 01:18

I’d buy him the belt for Christmas. Life’s short. Make him happy.

KosherDill · 06/10/2021 02:59

@MitheringMytryl

I'd just let him get on with it.

I have never spent that amount of money on a belt, it sounds utterly ridiculous to me. But your children are not you. He is becoming his own person and if he's decided that having a designer belt is really important to him then I think you need to leave him to it. It's not as if it's something that's going to cause him harm. Personally I would have let him have it as his Christmas present.

I would hope he'd learn a valuable lesson about money. Or maybe he'll just learn that he loves designer clothes and think they are totally worth the money 🤷. Either way, I would take a step back with this one. Let him be his own person.

This is very wise.

1forAll74 · 06/10/2021 03:28

I wouldn't personally buy it for him,as it's far too much for a belt. But he would have to buy it for himself,or save up for it. It's strange that a young person, would think a so called designer belt, was worth that kind of money.

ClareBlue · 06/10/2021 03:39

So the Christmas present comes with conditions. Only what you think is worthwhile. Is that how presents work. This is what he wants, I would buy it.

SueblueNZ · 06/10/2021 04:03

If people read the full thread they would see that Op has already spent most of his xmas budget on other stuff for him.

ducksalive · 06/10/2021 04:06

A belt is likely to last longer than electronic equipment like a ps5 would.
A gift is meant to something the person being given the gift would like.

Pixxie7 · 06/10/2021 04:09

Totally agree with you he needs to learn the value of money, if he is earning £150 a week I would start charging him a nominal amount for his food etc. You can always put it away for when he leaves home. If he then still wants to buy the belt so be it, but let him pay for it.

PoshWatchShitShoes · 06/10/2021 08:28

I'd buy him the belt, as he needs to make his own decisions and learn from his errors. I've got a few of the LV belts (from when I had money to waste before having DC 😂).

By the way the metal LV buckle gets scratched and tarnished quite easily, even when looked after.

Perhaps have a look on one of the designer reselling websites. HEWI and Rebelle are legitimate and only sell on authenticated goods in excellent condition. There's also usually a 10% off first order.

PoshWatchShitShoes · 06/10/2021 08:31

@PegorySpeck here's one:

www.rebelle.com/en/louis-vuitton-accessories-6882706

I think the import taxes from EU will add unnecessary expense, but it's worth keeping an eye on if one comes up in UK

Darceyhemingway · 06/10/2021 08:31

If it was a handbag then there wouldn't be a problem. I spend more on handbags and my husband spends more on belts as it's their only accessory apart from a hat or a wallet. If his budget is £500 I'd get it

nevergoesaway · 06/10/2021 09:20

As someone who is worrying I won’t even be able to put the heating on over Christmas, never mind spending £500 per child, this thread is hard to read. How the other half live.

Yes I KNOW I’m at fault for reading it, and I know I’m being very unreasonable in what I’ve said Sad

Jk987 · 06/10/2021 09:24

I'm shocked at the £500 budget for their Christmas presents!! Maybe I'm out of touch as my parents used to spend £30 on me!

Viviennemary · 06/10/2021 09:28

Most 17 year olds don't really get the chance to develop a taste for those wildly expensive items. Fancy overpriced trainers stars probably as far as most go. And don't have a 600 budget a month to spend on themselves.

ForeverSinging · 06/10/2021 09:33

I'm really surprised how much of a hard time you're getting about your Christmas budget. We've just got a ps5 for our 11 year old and with games and extra controller that's well over £600. It's not as if I'm going to get him nothing else to open on Christmas morning.

If you can afford what you're spending I don't think it should be anyone else's business. My ds rarely asks for anything, he's the loveliest boy, not at all spoilt.

Rainbowsew · 06/10/2021 09:33

You give each child the £500 they would normally get, they choose to spend how they want.

I agree with you that it's a ridiculous amount of cash for a belt BUT he gets to make his own choices, as he goes forward in life he'll probably buy lots of things you wouldn't have done but it'll be his choice.

If he was 35 and earnt the money himself your opinion wouldn't change but you probably wouldn't feel you had a say in it.

Don't be a controlling parent, there's countless threads on here about parents giving adult children money but then dictating how it should be spent (house, weddings, prams etc) it never ends well.

MrsRobbieHart · 06/10/2021 09:46

@WormYourHonour

Lovely young men.. one that throws tantrums over not getting complete wastes of money...

My daughter is 8, she doesn't tantrum over not getting meaningless expensive shite.

His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is

It’s the dad that threw the tantrum.

BarbedButterfly · 06/10/2021 09:50

I would have bought it but I don't see the problem with him taking on extra shifts to pay for it. I am sure some would think what I spend on skincare products or books is ridiculous but that is up to me and I dislike the idea that presents have to be worthy. You buy someone what will make them happy, not what you think they should want.

Minesril · 06/10/2021 09:58

It's the old adage: buy cheap, buy twice. Someone upthread mentioned hair curlers. I tried cheaper straighteners before finally buying my GHDs, they were next to useless but the GHDs are great.

I spend quite a lot on lego. My inlaws consider that a waste of money. We're all different with different tastes.

It's so annoying when your parents don't realise that you are different to them. I still remember my mother's incredulity when I didn't want to learn to drive. 37 and still don't want/need to!