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Original poster

Big row about expensive belt

456 replies

PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 20:31

DS 17 loves expensive clothes and designer labels. He currently wants a Louis Vuitton belt which costs £400. His Dad and I think it’s ridiculous to spend this amount of money on a belt. He asked us if he could have it for Christmas we said no. He knows our budget for him and his brother is £500 each so he has asked why as it’s within budget. We have responded because it’s a ridiculous waste of money.

He has a part time job and earns about £150 per week. He has just taken on an extra shift because he wants extra money for the belt. His Dad is going mad at him saying how stupid it is, but I guess it’s his money and therefore his choice.

He has now said we are completely unreasonable and have no right to tell him what he can do with his money. It’s all blown up into a massive argument and no-one is talking. He is now saying we are favouring his brother as we have already got his Christmas present which cost £500 which he saw arrive in the post a few days ago.

I don’t know how I can fix this? What should I do?

OP posts:
PrincessNutella · 05/10/2021 23:31

I think he should get the belt. If he really loves it that much, he'll probably take care of it and keep it for a long time.

WormYourHonour · 05/10/2021 23:31

Jealous much?

Lol
Another classic forum tactic.
Well played. Not seen that one for about a month.

CuteGirlsWatchMeEatEther · 05/10/2021 23:33

You have no issue buying alcohol for your child? Hmm

Justgorgeous · 05/10/2021 23:33

God I hate Gucci and LV belts……..

JesusIsAnyNameFree · 05/10/2021 23:33

@ChaoBella

Huh? What’s ambiguous about ‘afford’

Because in my circles afford means afford in relation to overall financial situation.

No way would I spend my last £500 on childrens presents. I would not even do that if I was down to my last £10,000

Afford for most people means "can buy without dipping into savings (separate from Christmas specific savings like some have) or having to scrimp on other things". It means the £500 per child isn't causing any type of hardship.
LoisWilkers · 05/10/2021 23:38

@ColdTattyWaitingForSummer

It wouldn’t even occur to me to tell my dc what to spend their wages on 🤷‍♀️ I might say no to a gift request if I felt it was particularly poor value for money though. This is the age where they get to learn and make mistakes when the stakes are fairly low, better than later when they have a mortgage and bills to pay.
She isn't dictating how he spends his wages. She's wanting him not to be wasteful in spending her/her partner's hard earned wage. Not unreasonable imo. Also, I personally feel presents should be a surprise rather than be dictated by the recipient.

With regards to the actual belt - why do teens strive to appear to be 'rich' all the time.. Yuck!

VeryOldPoster · 05/10/2021 23:39

What is ridiculous it is that you are spending £500 on each child for Christmas.

ittakes2 · 05/10/2021 23:41

Sorry but I agree with him. My daughter wanted one of those expensive dyson curlers for Christmas for years. I think they are £300 pounds. We kept saying that's a ridiclous amount of money on a curling wand and would encourage her to choose cheaper alternatives. But each cheaper alternative never was quite right and she never used them. Last year her brother got a new playstation 5, and since we were in lockdown etc, I did say to my husband to be fair she has been into hair since she was 4 and lets get her these dyson curlers she has always wanted. So we did and she uses them almost every day. And it was fool to us because we wasted about £150 on cheaper alternatives. He clearly wants this belt if he is working extra shifts for it.

BeaLola · 05/10/2021 23:42

@MrsSkylerWhite

It’s his money. There’s nothing you can (or should) do. He’ll wake up one day and realise how stupid it was to spend £400 on a belt. Life lesson learned, hopefully.
Perhaps he will wake up in his 60s and think - how great I've had this belt for nearly 59 years
popgoesthewee · 05/10/2021 23:45

Let him spend what he wants with his own wages but I am a bit Hmm at buying a bottle of vodka for a 17-year-old!

earsup · 05/10/2021 23:48

he could get a nice second hand one for less than half price and wont everyone think its a copy....the fakes now are immaculate if you know the right websites...!!

Abigail12345654321 · 05/10/2021 23:49

@ChaoBella

Huh? What’s ambiguous about ‘afford’

Because in my circles afford means afford in relation to overall financial situation.

No way would I spend my last £500 on childrens presents. I would not even do that if I was down to my last £10,000

Who suggested spending their last £500?
ManifestingJoy · 05/10/2021 23:50

@IveGotASongThatllGetOnYNerves

I'd get it. It's what he wants. It's within the budget
yeh, I agree. it's no worse than more gaming equipment imo
Original poster
PegorySpeck · 05/10/2021 23:50

@VeryOldPoster

What is ridiculous it is that you are spending £500 on each child for Christmas.
Why? I could spend more but I think maybe that would be excessive?
OP posts:
Abigail12345654321 · 05/10/2021 23:52

@WormYourHonour

You don’t sound very pleasant are you unhappy with your life?

Neither do you, and I'm not the one starting Mumsnet threads about arguments..
Are you unhappy with your life and how materialistic your kids have become?

It isn’t materialistic to purchase good quality items that retain their value over time. Designer bags, well chosen and cared for, have outperformed gold as an investment year on year for a very long time.

You sound sad and unhappy. I hope whatever is making you so miserable in your life improves.

Bagamoyo1 · 05/10/2021 23:53

There’s no way I’d spend that kind of money in a belt. It’s madness. Absolute madness. And if people are stupid enough to want something with such an obscene mark-up - well there’s no way they’re doing it on my money.
But I’d absolutely say he can buy it with his own money. Then when he regrets it in a couple of months it’ll be a valuable lesson learnt.
The thing about Christmas presents is that they’re gifts, and the giver of the gift gets to decide what they buy. It’s not earned money. So there’s no obligation on the giver to give anything at all, never mind a ridiculous piece of designer madness!

DaphneDeloresMoorhead · 05/10/2021 23:53

She's wanting him not to be wasteful in spending her/her partner's hard earned wage.
It would be far more wasteful to spend the budget buying him something he didn't want, don't you think ?

Abigail12345654321 · 05/10/2021 23:54

@WormYourHonour

But it sounds like your issue is with Op being generous to her son. If it were a daughter would you be so put out? Do you have a brother? Were you treated unfairly compared to him?

Lol.
Recognised forum tactic No 148.71
Good try tho.

Ah I see. Well I hope you find peace one day.
Abigail12345654321 · 05/10/2021 23:56

@WormYourHonour

Jealous much?

Lol
Another classic forum tactic.
Well played. Not seen that one for about a month.

I imagine this happens a lot when you are on forums. But there’s none so blind as those who cannot see. If you are hearing the same thing over and over from random unconnected strangers perhaps there is a reason other than ‘forum tactics’.
2Two · 05/10/2021 23:58

If you're not charging him rent so he can save up, and he's not saving up, surely you should start charging? It's ridiculous that you are supporting him when he is spending so much money on alcohol and designer tat. If you want to, you could save the rent for him in a separate account.

PearLime · 06/10/2021 00:00

Why not compromise?

Give him a portion of the budget (say, £250) in cash towards whatever he wants. He can pay for the belt if he likes.

The remainder, buy some other things.

Also £500 is A LOT for Xmas presents! Your son is v lucky!

MitheringMytryl · 06/10/2021 00:02

I'd just let him get on with it.

I have never spent that amount of money on a belt, it sounds utterly ridiculous to me. But your children are not you. He is becoming his own person and if he's decided that having a designer belt is really important to him then I think you need to leave him to it. It's not as if it's something that's going to cause him harm. Personally I would have let him have it as his Christmas present.

I would hope he'd learn a valuable lesson about money. Or maybe he'll just learn that he loves designer clothes and think they are totally worth the money 🤷. Either way, I would take a step back with this one. Let him be his own person.

WormYourHonour · 06/10/2021 00:03

I imagine this happens a lot when you are on forums. But there’s none so blind as those who cannot see. If you are hearing the same thing over and over from random unconnected strangers perhaps there is a reason other than ‘forum tactics’.

Ever see the "u mad bro?" Meme?
It's pretty much this.

BadNomad · 06/10/2021 00:19

What is so outragous about spending £500 on your child at Christmas!? Sure it's probably too much to spend on plastic tat for a two-year-old, but for teenagers into technology it's not going to get you much. It's not the 90's anymore.

Seeingadistance · 06/10/2021 00:22

@YouTubeAddict

So you’d rather spend £500 on things he doesn’t want??

And you think HE’S the one being unreasonable 🤷‍♀️ 😂

Yip!