To be annoyed my mum says I’m a snob for this

[BrendaBubbles]

It’s relevant to note that I am from a working class background and last year I moved into a flat in an actually “naice” area of the northern town I grew up in. The number of the flat has “A” after it because it was originally the upstairs of a single Edwardian townhouse and the ground floor has the number only.. for example I have 69A and downstairs they have 69.

I thought having the A just looked a bit rubbish and a friend suggested that I could instead give the flat a name and register it with the post office and so on to use it officially. So I went through this rigmarole and my flat is now called something along the lines of Brenda Tower then the road name etc (not exactly that name due to privacy!)

I thought it was quite a fun thing to do but when I told my DM she went berserk and said she was disappointed because she hadn’t brought me up to be so snobby about something like an address and that moving to this part of town has made me into a worse person. I thought she was joking at first but she is really holding me in contempt for it and makes annoying references to how “posh” and “too good” I am at family gatherings and things. Other than having a nice flat in a nice area and giving it my own name, Am I actually being unreasonable?? Lots of people with cottages and things have house names so why can’t my flat?

My brother did the opposite and didn't use the name when he bought his house, he didn't want to be different to the rest of his street and didn't want his friends and family thinking he was embarrassed of the street he lived on.

I don't think having a name instead of a number makes someone posh but the two people I've known change after buying their home have done so because they were worried about people seeing the street name and being judged.

Which to be fair, did happen, I almost didn't get called for an interview in daycare because someone from the same town who already worked there told my boss it's a council estate full of lowlifes. 🙄

If you have named your flat after yourself... then yes I think that's slightly snobby. It's also a bit weird.
However it's your property to do with what you want, so tell your mum to leave you be.

@BrendaBubbles

How do you expect delivery people, visitors and emergency services to be able to find your house?

I visit a lot of houses and flats as part of my job and named houses with no visible bum we can be a nightmare to find. I’ve been late and stressed a number do times in the dark when I’ve not been able to find a house name.

I have never seen a named flat in my life!
At least houses with names are usually on streets where all the houses have names.

Incidentally my house has both a name and a number and I have never used the name!

Our house is old and has a name, when we moved in we put the number up too and use this for post. It’s impossible to find a house without a number

I think it's the opposite of snobby, a bit Hyacinth Bucket. We had it in a previous home and always used the number as it was in a numbered close and looked ridiculous to be the only house with a name.

It's not snobby, it's a bit weird! Like I've seen people name houses, but flats?

Life is too short for all of this.If you like the name, great. Your mum is being ridiculous. If what you are doing is not harming others, people should really not be bothered. They are the ones being small minded and petty.

Um...

My family house has a name, but that's because it's known by its name. So there's "XHouse", "XGatehouse", "XFarm" etc.

I would feel like a dick if I'd given my own house (an unusual house, but still on a main road in a big city) a name. However, I'd feel fed up with my mum if I had chosen to give it a name, and she had offered her unwanted opinion on this.

So I suppose either everyone IBU, or no-one IBU.

It does come across a bit like you're trying to appear posh.

YANBU. Your DM sounds threatened and defensive; presumably because she now thinks you’re looking down on your upbringing. I’d let it go for a while but if she doesn’t pack it in just politely ask her to drop it, and that she’s being over sensitive.

What you did is a little silly, but your mother is making a complete fool of herself.

Clearly she has some problem with you doing well. Maybe she feels you are rejecting her and the upbringing she gave you in moving somewhere nice?

Regardless, using ridiculous terms like 'snob' and making remarks about you is immature and hurtful.

No issues with the renaming as such (you will probably put the price of your property up) as 69A does sound less appealing.

But isn’t it going to be a pain for the post people / Hermes / Just Eat to find?

It's a weird thing to do, a flat called 69A is normal a flat with a name is odd.

How will anyone find it?

I live in a road where all the houses are named, DH who is at home all day keeps a map with all the names on for all the delivery drivers who stop lost at our house every day.

I'm puzzled by naming a flat.

Cottages in a village can have names, but in a town it's a bit weird/unhelpful, and a flat is proper odd.

You do you op.

It'd a bit tacky imo though. Not posh, a bit wannabe posh. Like sticking a personalised plate on an old car so no one can tell how old it is..

Your mum is being very silly and pretty snobbish herself.

There’s nothing odd about naming your home. We gave our house a new name when we moved in as it was just our surname plus the Townland so adding a house name made sense and we now have a name plaque on the entrance wall.

Presumably your new address is ‘housename’ 69 The Terrace, Northerntown.

Is there any backstory OP, to your mum thinking you’re getting ‘above yourself’? Her reaction seems a bit extreme but maybe there are other things that have happened that she hasn’t liked (although you might not be aware of them even if there are).

Bit wanky to name a flat and even more wanky to name it after yourself.
But your mum sounds like she is taking it too far and should give it a rest.

@icedcoffees

As someone who works a job that requires me to go to clients' homes, house names drive me mad, lol.

So someone says "I live at The Oaks, Main Road, X town" - but Main Road could have 200 houses on it, so how the fuck am I supposed know where The Oaks is?

this definitely...name your flat if you want to but keep the number

My house came with a name and I hate it, between it comes up differently in different databases and it’s quite pretentious.

I would register it as Brenda tower, 67a whatever street, whatever town as someone else said the emergency services go by house number

As a nurse in the community I very much dislike people's homes who have names rather than numbers! Really struggle to find them! Especially on night shift!!

@HeddaGarbled

If someone I knew did that, I would think they were being pretentious.

Your mum thinks she’s losing you: that you’ll rise above your roots and look down on them (this is very very common and a not unrealistic fear). Have a proper conversation about what this is really about, and then tell her to shut up about the flat name.

Perceptive post

do you have problems with deliveries or do you just write above number 70 or whatever

I had a sign made up with the name as I’m the only one up the stairs. It’s not a block.

I'm tempted to call ours "Juniper Hall" ,love a nice G & T