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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed my mum says I’m a snob for this

330 replies

BrendaBubbles · 05/10/2021 19:28

It’s relevant to note that I am from a working class background and last year I moved into a flat in an actually “naice” area of the northern town I grew up in. The number of the flat has “A” after it because it was originally the upstairs of a single Edwardian townhouse and the ground floor has the number only.. for example I have 69A and downstairs they have 69.

I thought having the A just looked a bit rubbish and a friend suggested that I could instead give the flat a name and register it with the post office and so on to use it officially. So I went through this rigmarole and my flat is now called something along the lines of Brenda Tower then the road name etc (not exactly that name due to privacy!)

I thought it was quite a fun thing to do but when I told my DM she went berserk and said she was disappointed because she hadn’t brought me up to be so snobby about something like an address and that moving to this part of town has made me into a worse person. I thought she was joking at first but she is really holding me in contempt for it and makes annoying references to how “posh” and “too good” I am at family gatherings and things. Other than having a nice flat in a nice area and giving it my own name, Am I actually being unreasonable?? Lots of people with cottages and things have house names so why can’t my flat?

OP posts:
HairyScaryMonster · 05/10/2021 20:06

My parents have a named house. But the address is [name], [house number and road], town.

MyPatronusIsACat · 05/10/2021 20:07

@BrendaBubbles

I don't think it's snobby to name your flat after yourself, but it is naff to be honest. Like getting a private number plate, so people don't know the age of your car. (When all anyone has to do is look it up on the DVLA website to find out the year!)

I remember a man called Gary who had a girlfriend called Tracey, and they called their 2 bed terraced house in Wolverhampton 'Tragar.' Everyone just laughed at them behind their back. It's a bit 'Jack and Vera Duckworth' isn't it? Grin

user1491404899 · 05/10/2021 20:07

Naming a flat Is a bit naff.....how embarrassing 😳

SylvanasWindrunner · 05/10/2021 20:08

It's very naff but I assume you did it as a joke? Just say that to her?

waybill · 05/10/2021 20:08

I'm not going to comment on the name/number issue, but I do feel that your mum is being completely out of order by being so unpleasant to you about it. And to keep embarassing you by going on about it at family gatherings is definitely BU.

muddyford · 05/10/2021 20:08

Definitely pretentious. If you have a house number you don't need a name. I stopped using the name that was on a house l bought, tore the sign down and just used the number.

HermioneAndRoger · 05/10/2021 20:09

My cousin lives on a long road in Surrey where every house has a name instead of a number. It is completely impossible to find anywhere. They have to give out their w3w reference for anyone to find them.

Disfordarkchocolate · 05/10/2021 20:10

I can't believe anyone has the time to be bothered about what someone else calls their home.

I'd ignore her, she's obviously a bit insecure about what she'd she's as you moving upwards socially. Very odd.

maddiemookins16mum · 05/10/2021 20:11

Not snobby, but not my taste. It might be something you look back on at 40 and go…’eeek, that was a but naff’.
But, know what, you’re hurting nobody.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 05/10/2021 20:11

Our road has some houses with just letters, and some houses with just letters and a block of apartments with a name. Just a normal village street where extra houses were built on the wrong end so numbers couldn't be added.

tempester28 · 05/10/2021 20:12

I can't believe people are so off about you naming your flat! I think it is a fine and fun thing to do. I lived in "62a" and 62 often got my post. If you were in a high rise of 100 flats I would think you were a bit bonkers but in a converted building on a few flats, I think it is fine.

Hesma · 05/10/2021 20:12

I think it’s pretentious and a bit wanky but there’s no need for your mum to be mean

Milkbottlelegs · 05/10/2021 20:13

You’ve just made it incredibly difficult for any delivery person or visitor to your flat. But as long as it looks better than having a letter above the door then I guess who cares?

Your mother is right. Naming a flat is a ridiculous act of snobbery. It’s all because you don’t want it to be obvious you live in a flat.

thewhatsit · 05/10/2021 20:13

It’s a bit cringe honestly. And how are people supposed to find you? Flats don’t ever really have names. Don’t couriers struggle?

The house I grew up in had a name (previous owners) and my parents reverted to the number as they were a bit embarrassed at the name thing.

DameMaureen · 05/10/2021 20:14

I've never heard of someone naming a flat so I can maybe see where your Mum is coming from .

Eastie77Returns · 05/10/2021 20:14

Years ago I lived and worked abroad and helped my flat mate out by posting a package to her parents in Wales. It was free for me to use my company’s office postal service. Anyway, her parents lived in a village and the address was along the lines of ‘Rose Cottage, town, Wales’. None of the houses in the village had a house number.

Kind of blew my mindGrin

phoenixrosehere · 05/10/2021 20:14

Yanbu.

Where I work, there is a flat above us that is an A and it messes up the delivery drivers because if someone posting to the flat forgets the A it comes to us and we have to remember to inform them that they have mail or a package or it gets mixed up in our deliveries.

ImInStealthMode · 05/10/2021 20:16

Ooh your Mum would hate it where I live, more or less every house has a name, it's only flats and new build estates that have numbers (and a lot of the new builds quickly get changed to names).

I wouldn't personally change a flat to have a name but I don't think you're a snob for doing so if it makes you happy!

TeacupDrama · 05/10/2021 20:16

@@Rshard, that might be true for new houses but it isn't generally true neither my house or indeed any house in the next 8 miles have a number just a name in fact no street road name either just house name, village name, post town, post code. IT'S certainly not unique to my village

Seesawmummadaw · 05/10/2021 20:17

None of the houses in our village (or surrounding villages) have numbers as it’s mostly farms and we have never had people struggle to find us.

HollyandIvyandAllThingsYule · 05/10/2021 20:17

[quote MyPatronusIsACat]@BrendaBubbles You lost me at "NAICE". Confused YABU.[/quote]
Missing the point but...Are you even a mumsnetter??

Seesawmummadaw · 05/10/2021 20:17

@TeacupDrama

@*@Rshard*, that might be true for new houses but it isn't generally true neither my house or indeed any house in the next 8 miles have a number just a name in fact no street road name either just house name, village name, post town, post code. IT'S certainly not unique to my village
Same
icedcoffees · 05/10/2021 20:17

As someone who works a job that requires me to go to clients' homes, house names drive me mad, lol.

So someone says "I live at The Oaks, Main Road, X town" - but Main Road could have 200 houses on it, so how the fuck am I supposed know where The Oaks is? Hmm

Standrewsschool · 05/10/2021 20:19

Your mum’s reaction is weird. Nothing wrong with what you have done.

Ourlady · 05/10/2021 20:20

[quote MyPatronusIsACat]@BrendaBubbles You lost me at "NAICE". Confused YABU.[/quote]
Agree with this