If you are a mum looking after your kids day to day, did give realise you were a ‘SAHM’ before coming on MN?

[sangak]

It always strikes me, that MN always has much to say about so-called ‘SAHMs.’ But if you said ‘SAHM’ (pronouncing it as ‘Sarm’) in real-life, nobody would know what this is. I know many women who don’t work due to children / family, but not one of them would know they were ‘Sarms’ or even recognise what ‘SAHM’ stands for - or that it is even considered ‘a thing.’ Just seems weird that the whole debate on here is so removed from real life.

11, 13, 15.

@sangak

I was SAHM long before I joined mn and I used the phrase ‘stay at home mum’.

When I see the acronym SAHM in my head I say ‘stay at home mum’ not sarm!

If someone asked what job a SAHM had, what would you expect them to say

I’m not working currently? Something like that.

@sangak

11, 13, 15.

I would still consider you a SAHM with children that age, it sounded a bit like they had finished school in a previous post. Having said that, it’s not up to me what you call yourself, so take no notice of me!

@sangak

11, 13, 15.

That would make you what I’ve seen on here referred to as ‘stay at home mum with school aged kids’, so SAHMWSAK . How would you pronounce that one?

This thread is bizzare!

I was a SAHM for a few years and called myself that. It’s not a derogatory phrase!

I then went back to work part time and probably described myself as ‘working part time’ the time. Again not derogatory but just a description!

I am now a full time working mum (or whatever you want to call it) and again its simply a phrase to describe what I do.

I have been just as much a mum in all of these scenarios and all are equally valid.
They were the right choices for our family at the time.

@sangak you are massively overthinking this!

sarmwusak?

That would make you what I’ve seen on here referred to as ‘stay at home mum with school aged kids’, so SAHMWSAK. How would you pronounce that one?
“Unemployed”

You can call me unemployed if you feel the need.

I kind of know what you mean. My job is xxxx and I'm talking some time off to look after the kids. I dont need to suddenly have this new name and be shoved in a box with a whole heap of judgement. But people will.

@sangak

You can call me unemployed if you feel the need.

Will you be going back to work at any point at all? I presume you're still pretty young in the grand scheme of things. Do you have a long term plan once the youngest finished school? I'd get so bored trying to fill each day.

It’s fine Flumps. No I’m never bored.

OP are you trying to start an argument because it seems that way?

@sangak

It’s fine Flumps. No I’m never bored.

The trouble is it's only ever fine until the worst happens and your relationship ends or something happens to your DH. It honestly wouldn't be the worst idea in the world to start thinking about what ifs. Everyone thinks nothing bad will ever happen to them but you're in a very very vulnerable position.

CanICelebrate - I think you might have misinterpreted the thread.

I was wondering if there were any other people who were just busy looking after their kids day to day and never questioned this or thought a thing of it. Then they discover MN and see all the threads about SAHMs and the general way they go. And they think, omg.., this whole debate is going on. And then you think of yourself as a Sarm (well I did) or, at least, as some sort of ‘category’ in a way you never did before.

I understood the thread and commented earlier but lots of people have said SAHM is a normal and helpful phrase that lots of people use but you are repeatedly making the same point in your subsequent posts and I can’t work out why!

@sangak

You do get sahm ‘debates’ on mn but sahm is also a perfectly valid phrase that I have used and heard in real life.
I described myself as a stay at home mum long before I joined mn. It’s just an easy description.
I work full time now and I’m still just as much a mum!

I guess I sort of get what you mean but the other way around. I was truly astonished when I saw so much stuff on here about this SAHM Vs WOHM debate because in real life I know no SAHMs and it's very surreal to see it as a question that people debate. I didn't ever make a conscious decision to work and use childcare, it just seemed like the automatic thing to do.

@sangak

Maybe Stay-at-home-parent might be a category on certain forms or for the census or something.

But never in my life have I heard anyone actually say, “I’m a stay-at-home-mum.” Nobody ever says this. I never thought of myself as that until I realised it was a thing on MN.

People say it all the time. People you associate with may not, but lots of people do use it. That and housewife/husband, stay at home dad, stay at home parent - lots of versions of it but it is used. Never heard sarm though. There is no R anyway.

The term SAHM perfectly valid in itself. I’m not arguing it’s derogatory - on MN or in real-life. This is not the point.

I also think, however, that a lot of stereotyping goes in in threads about SAHMs and it’s mainly negative or coming from people who just don’t understand really. And that’s strange to stumble across when, in real life, you have never encountered anything like it. Or even realised that people put you in a ‘SAHM’ category with other SAHMs, just based on this one aspect of your life.

‘I was truly astonished when I saw so much stuff on here about this SAHM Vs WOHM debate because in real life I know no SAHMs and it's very surreal to see it as a question that people debate’

Well yes, that’s what I mean (just the other way round).

I think you have an odd social circle to be surrounded by so many women with small children who don't work in this decade. I, on the other hand, have never met a woman my age-ish who had kids and didn't go back to work after mat leave. Not one....every SAHM I've met is 20 years older at least.

@sangak

The term SAHM perfectly valid in itself. I’m not arguing it’s derogatory - on MN or in real-life. This is not the point.

I also think, however, that a lot of stereotyping goes in in threads about SAHMs and it’s mainly negative or coming from people who just don’t understand really. And that’s strange to stumble across when, in real life, you have never encountered anything like it. Or even realised that people put you in a ‘SAHM’ category with other SAHMs, just based on this one aspect of your life.

What stereotyping is it you’re referring to?

Op you need to stop trying to make sarm happen, it’s really not a thing 😂

I’ve thought of myself as Sarm for two years now - ever since discovering MN. It’s already happened in my head.