If you are a mum looking after your kids day to day, did give realise you were a ‘SAHM’ before coming on MN?

[sangak]

It always strikes me, that MN always has much to say about so-called ‘SAHMs.’ But if you said ‘SAHM’ (pronouncing it as ‘Sarm’) in real-life, nobody would know what this is. I know many women who don’t work due to children / family, but not one of them would know they were ‘Sarms’ or even recognise what ‘SAHM’ stands for - or that it is even considered ‘a thing.’ Just seems weird that the whole debate on here is so removed from real life.

I don’t know, I think ‘stay at home mum’ is a fairly standard title.

Sorry wrong forum!

Will ask for this to be moved.

I’ve never heard anyone pronounce it ‘sarm’. In my head I just read it as ‘stay at home mum’. Who says ‘sarm’?
When I was at home with the kids I knew I was what some call a ‘stay at home mum’.

@2blackandwhitecats

I don’t know, I think ‘stay at home mum’ is a fairly standard title.

Likewise. I certainly knew people who used it to describe their parents when we were growing up. The acronym might be more common on MN but the title stay at home parent has been around in common use for decades.

I don't think its meant to be said as Sahm is it? But the term stay at home mum is well known enough.

Also no one reads things like SAHM, AIBU or DH as a word. You just say the whole phrase in your head just like you do with other acronyms like BRB, FFS or ASAP.

I’ve asked for this to be moved - sorry.

To me ‘SAHM’ is like ‘DH’ - ie a MN phenomenon. I’ve never heard any friend who doesn’t work but has kids describe herself (or anyone else) as “stay at home.”

What does staying at home have to do with anything?

No-one says 'Sarm'. It's 'stay at home mum'. And yes, some of my friends are and describe themselves as that. My mum did too, in the 80s.

What does ‘D’H or ‘D’ anything even stand for?

I think 'DH' is an internet forum thing isn't it, rather than just Mumsnet? I'm sure I read before I joined here. I always read it as 'Dear Heart' in my head :D

It's just a quick way of typing 'stay at home mum' - your brain reads SAHM and knows what it actually says.

Dear Husband. Dear Daughter etc.

OP, you seem to be confusing acronym usage with concepts. It’s just the shorthand associated with a particular Internet forum, not something that’s actually said. Like BAME. No one says ‘I’m BAME’. That doesn’t stop them being black or from an ethnic minority.

Is ‘D’ for ‘dear’ or is it a joke - ie DH originally stood for something else (dickhead) and it just stuck?

I always read SAHM as ‘Sarm.’ I nearly told someone I was a Sarm the other day and then realised they would think I was mad.

I’ve never heard Sarm said by anyone, did you make it up? Why would you put an R in there.

Stay at home mum or parent is common language. I don’t know anyone who would recognise sarm or know what that was.

@sangak

I always read SAHM as ‘Sarm.’ I nearly told someone I was a Sarm the other day and then realised they would think I was mad.

I’ve never heard anyone pronounce it as ‘sarm’. I see ‘SAHM’ and my head reads it as ‘stay at home mum’. It’s just a quick way of writing it.

Newsflash - most people don't talk in acronyms in real life, even if they use them on here. Because talking in real life is a lot quicker and easier than typing.

I also think you’re confused and think that acronyms are actually words people say, they aren’t, people just say stay at home mum or parent. No one says the acronym.

If you said I’m a sarm out loud no one would have a clue what you mean as I think it’s something you’ve invented in your head.

Maybe Stay-at-home-parent might be a category on certain forms or for the census or something.

But never in my life have I heard anyone actually say, “I’m a stay-at-home-mum.” Nobody ever says this. I never thought of myself as that until I realised it was a thing on MN.

@sangak

Maybe Stay-at-home-parent might be a category on certain forms or for the census or something.

But never in my life have I heard anyone actually say, “I’m a stay-at-home-mum.” Nobody ever says this. I never thought of myself as that until I realised it was a thing on MN.

So what do parents who don’t work and raise young kids say in your world?

sangak nobody says sarm for SAHM - its an acronym like UK for United Kingdom - nobody says "I live in the uck..."

Stay at home is used as ashort hand to differentiate from "work outside the home" because in many circumstances its relevant to discussions (you see it more on parenting forums because its relevant more often.

All that is glaringly obvious to most people though ...

Well I would just say I was a mum

But never in my life have I heard anyone actually say, “I’m a stay-at-home-mum.” Nobody ever says this. I never thought of myself as that until I realised it was a thing on MN.

How sheltered a life have you led? It's a very very normal way of describing yourself if you are at home raising small children.

@sangak

Maybe Stay-at-home-parent might be a category on certain forms or for the census or something.

But never in my life have I heard anyone actually say, “I’m a stay-at-home-mum.” Nobody ever says this. I never thought of myself as that until I realised it was a thing on MN.

You've never heard the phrase (or a version of it) ever? What about "full time mum", which is used similarly?

So if you’re talking to someone ans they asked what you do for a living you’d say I’m a mum?

sangak sometimes its relevant to the conversation whether you work outside the home or not - for example when discussing childcare, finances, division of domestic labour etc.