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Original poster

Would you marry for wealth?

369 replies

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 17:40

On a thread recently a woman in her 30s said she pursued a man 40 years her senior in a quest to secure financial security.
As a female of a similar age, it made me think a lot. Whilst I can't, or at least at a stage, couldn't imagine sleeping with a man of that age, I can see why people would do it and can make sense of it.
The poster said she was sick of being broke and working for nothing and with that I can relate to. She never gave any details of her job etc but as a college graduate with a degree I myself work in a professional job yet am still renting and likely always will be with little savings and bugger all pension really.
The older I get the more it scares me and I would consider it I think sometimes but I don't know if I could go through with it. Could you?

OP posts:
Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 20:11

Why would he want to? If he’s not going to get satisfaction, what’s in it for him? You don’t seem to know much about old men

impotence doesn't mean there is anything wrong with their sex drive. They can do lots with their hands and mouth end expect the same.

OP posts:
LukeEvansWife · 02/10/2021 20:12

No - but then I'm not interested in being a prostitute. If you sleep with/marry someone purely for the money then you have no self respect

TractorAndHeadphones · 02/10/2021 20:13

@COOKFORD

plenty of people settle for many reasons. Fear of being alone, wanting a 'family', etc etc. Why is money itself suddenly a grubby reason but the others aren't

money is very different from the things you mentioned.

Why? If you're talking about people marrying someone 'meh but not terrible' vs marrying a rich old man they can't stand for money, sure, but that's not what I'm referring to. My base assumption is that in all of these cases the person is marrying someone that they don't otherwise find attractive. I even know one woman who married her husband only for children. She doesn't even like having sex with him but wanted a family and he was the first 'decent' guy who was willing. As the children grew up and flew the nest they lived pretty separate lives but they're both happy with what they have. I guess you could say that she married 'for money' as well.
TractorAndHeadphones · 02/10/2021 20:14

*for money as well but it wasn't purely for the money, it was the fact that she wanted children and didn't want to raise them alone. He was (and still is!) a dutiful and dedicated father to the children.

LukeEvansWife · 02/10/2021 20:15

It's like those women who used to hang round Peter Stringfellow - they were basically whoring themselves out for the money and possible fame

MintJulia · 02/10/2021 20:17

No absolutely not.

I've never needed a man as a meal ticket, and I'd rather sleep in a tent than go that way. I grew up in a minimum wage family and I know how to be poor if I need to.

DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 20:17

@LukeEvansWife

It's like those women who used to hang round Peter Stringfellow - they were basically whoring themselves out for the money and possible fame
What was he doing?
Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 20:18

I grew up in a minimum wage family and I know how to be poor if I need to

only being ' poor' back in the day was probably easier as many of those classed as 'poor' had at least their own roof over their head.

OP posts:
LidlMiddleLover · 02/10/2021 20:19

Yep so long as everyone is honest why not

DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 20:19

@COOKFORD

Why

because wanting family and human companionship are noble and natural things. Wanting excess money at the expense of another person isn't.

Once again, the assumption that the rich man has no agency or idea what's going on. Not many people get rich by being that unaware.

He's probably doing it for the companionship, if you want to look at it that way. So why are his motives more noble than hers? Surely it's worse to buy a human than be bought? Why are we always framing it as her marrying for money rather than him marrying for a warm young body? And why is it only she whom we find wanting?

Blossomtoes · 02/10/2021 20:20

@COOKFORD

Why would he want to? If he’s not going to get satisfaction, what’s in it for him? You don’t seem to know much about old men

impotence doesn't mean there is anything wrong with their sex drive. They can do lots with their hands and mouth end expect the same.

It’s pointless if they can’t come. You need to learn some basic biology!
Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 20:22

*Once again, the assumption that the rich man has no agency or idea what's going on. Not many people get rich by being that unaware.

He's probably doing it for the companionship, if you want to look at it that way. So why are his motives more noble than hers? Surely it's worse to buy a human than be bought? Why are we always framing it as her marrying for money rather than him marrying for a warm young body? And why is it only she whom we find wanting*

of course, I agree but it's not about him, it's about you or us the people who would marry the person for money. His morality is another thread.

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 02/10/2021 20:23

His morality is another thread

Why? Plenty of posts left on this one.

Emmylouisa · 02/10/2021 20:24

Yes I think I would as long as he was not being misled by it. I think you'd still need to be compatible though.

DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 20:25

@COOKFORD

*Once again, the assumption that the rich man has no agency or idea what's going on. Not many people get rich by being that unaware.

He's probably doing it for the companionship, if you want to look at it that way. So why are his motives more noble than hers? Surely it's worse to buy a human than be bought? Why are we always framing it as her marrying for money rather than him marrying for a warm young body? And why is it only she whom we find wanting*

of course, I agree but it's not about him, it's about you or us the people who would marry the person for money. His morality is another thread.

And one you didn't have any urge to start, despite your clear prurience and judgement in starting this one.

So what's worse? Buying a human or being bought?

Original poster
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 20:26

It’s pointless if they can’t come. You need to learn some basic biology

Believe me, I know. I'm the woman, I just didn't want to say it on the op as I wanted to see society's views on it.

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 20:27

@Emmylouisa

Yes I think I would as long as he was not being misled by it. I think you'd still need to be compatible though.
Any 70 year old man with money who thinks the 30 year old married him for his wit, charm, good looks and rakish nature deserves....well, maybe not to lose all his money, but some sort of natural consequence of stupidity.
AngelDelight28 · 02/10/2021 20:27

I wouldn't marry purely for money but also wouldn't have married someone who didn't have a decent job. I wanted someone on my wavelength, an equal. So I wouldn't have wanted someone with no prospects but on the other hand have no interest in being someone's trophy or subordinate. Surely there's a big middle ground between marrying for love and being dirt poor, or marrying someone you're not attracted to just for money.

The people saying they would do it if they were poor/cleaning the loos at Wetherspoons/can't feed their children etc...it's irrelevant because real life isn't a Cinderella fairy tale, in reality wealthy men marry upper class socialite-type women or stunning models/singers/actresses...
not random broke single mums such as average looking Sharon from 'Spoons.

And when a rich man does marry a much poorer woman it's almost always a vastly unequal relationship. You're not going to be able to just do what you want, you're there to serve his needs. No such thing as a free lunch, he who pays the piper calls the tune, etc. etc.
No doubt someone will be along to tell me how they married for money and their much wealthier man treats them like an equal and they're blissfully happy with their choices....in which case crack on, but generally your experience isn't the norm.

martingrowler · 02/10/2021 20:27

100 times yes

SteveArnottsWaistcoat · 02/10/2021 20:29

Definitely! But they’d have to be fit as fuck too. But then again, so would I Grin

LukeEvansWife · 02/10/2021 20:31

What was he doing?

Pretending he believed that they liked him for him.

Neverseenfirefliesinmylife · 02/10/2021 20:33

Yes. Not 40 years older though.
I wish I’d realised the importance of money in my 20’s, I imagine it’s too late at 43

DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 20:34

@LukeEvansWife

What was he doing?

Pretending he believed that they liked him for him.

So they're whoring themselves out, and he's just engaging in a little harmless fantasy?
Neverseenfirefliesinmylife · 02/10/2021 20:34

Can you link to the post you’re talking about by any chance? I didn’t see it

MarineBlue33 · 02/10/2021 20:37

I haven't read the whole thread but I remember someone once saying:
"Marry money but don't marry for money"

I didn't do that btw