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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you marry for wealth?

369 replies

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 17:40

On a thread recently a woman in her 30s said she pursued a man 40 years her senior in a quest to secure financial security.
As a female of a similar age, it made me think a lot. Whilst I can't, or at least at a stage, couldn't imagine sleeping with a man of that age, I can see why people would do it and can make sense of it.
The poster said she was sick of being broke and working for nothing and with that I can relate to. She never gave any details of her job etc but as a college graduate with a degree I myself work in a professional job yet am still renting and likely always will be with little savings and bugger all pension really.
The older I get the more it scares me and I would consider it I think sometimes but I don't know if I could go through with it. Could you?

OP posts:
RantyAunty · 02/10/2021 19:45

People marry for all sorts of frivolous reasons.

I probably should have married for money in my youth.

There are arranged marriages and many seem to work out.

AICM · 02/10/2021 19:46

And yes. You're a prostitute. You're getting money, he's getting sex.

SleepQuest33 · 02/10/2021 19:46

No, I really couldn’t bring myself to marry a disgusting old man. Yuk!!

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:47

If you marry a man for money, that man is marrying for youth and looks and in a few years will be a lot of women younger and prettier than you

that's when you divorce him and get the settlement, if you in it for the money solely you won't give a fuck if he's chasing younger women.

OP posts:
immersivereader · 02/10/2021 19:48

Well let's face it the fella 40 years older is probably thinking he might have a good time before he hits the grave.

Just an exchange of commodities really

immersivereader · 02/10/2021 19:49

I should have married someone very wealthy. If I had my time again it'd be top of my list - wealthy and American / British /Australian/ Canadian.

Instead I'm just working my arse off for a pittance.

BringOnTheOtherWorlders · 02/10/2021 19:50

Having run in those circles, wealthy men always have rules - so it would depend on what the rules were for that particular rich man - nails always done? hair always long and blown dry straight? no dependent children? no gaining weight? always wear heels? always wear dresses? must sleep nude?

The men know they have the power. They are not naïve.

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 19:50

wealthy and American / British /Australian/ Canadian

why does his heritage matter?

OP posts:
TractorAndHeadphones · 02/10/2021 19:50

@AICM

It's like feminism never happened.

All those saying yes need to.pray the gender pay gap never closes, that the Patriarchy never falls and that their looks never fade.

If you marry a man for money, that man is marrying for youth and looks and in a few years will be a lot of women younger and prettier than you.

Even better if he cheats on you with a younger and prettier woman. Easier to divorce him and get the marital assets. And then see how many younger women continue to throw themselves at him :)
AICM · 02/10/2021 19:52

@RantyAunty

People marry for all sorts of frivolous reasons.

I probably should have married for money in my youth.

There are arranged marriages and many seem to work out.

Is it the man's job to earn money?

So many women seem to want equality on their own terms.

Would marrying for money be a terrible example to set your daughters?

And would you want your sons to marry a woman who was only after his money?

AICM · 02/10/2021 19:54

Tractor

Thank you for proving how vile and money-grabbing the women who do this are.

I can leave this thread now.

Pinkyjack · 02/10/2021 19:55

I married for property..some people can it love lol..30 odd years later still poor and still in love 😍

TractorAndHeadphones · 02/10/2021 19:56

@COOKFORD cross posted!

I'd personally never do it, but I'm a grafter and in a fortunate enough position to be able to accumulate wealth.
If someone was reaching their 40's, constantly broke with no prospects and never really had a good relationship either I can see why they might want to do it. Provided that the man in question isn't completely disgusting, just old.

Unlike prostitution - plenty of people settle for many reasons. Fear of being alone, wanting a 'family', etc etc. Why is money itself suddenly a grubby reason but the others aren't?

TractorAndHeadphones · 02/10/2021 20:01

@AICM

Tractor

Thank you for proving how vile and money-grabbing the women who do this are.

I can leave this thread now.

So you're not judging the vileness of a man marrying women young enough to be his adult daughter? Only the women? If a man is naiive enough to not know what she's marrying him for he deserves what he gets. Remember the old saying 'if you marry for money you will earn every penny'.
StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 02/10/2021 20:02

I don't think I would because I'm easily irritated and would have no time for them annoying me if they ate too loudly or made stupid jokes. No riches could make up for that.

But as pp have already said marrying for love is a recent thing. Back in the day love would have been a luxury way down the list for many people. They'd have made a pragmatic assessment of someone in terms of do they have a few acres/two goats and a pig/good pensionable job/homeowner. And maybe that's a sensible way to go about things.

I know a woman whose husband died when she was in her early 60s. She'd spent her marriage scrimping and saving and not having a particularly happy life. So she decided to seek a wealthy man. And she found one and married him. She cares for him (probably not in love with him) and his health and lifestyle have really improved since he's been with her. And she has a happy comfortable life. Win win for both of them.

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 20:04

plenty of people settle for many reasons. Fear of being alone, wanting a 'family', etc etc. Why is money itself suddenly a grubby reason but the others aren't

money is very different from the things you mentioned.

OP posts:
Blossomtoes · 02/10/2021 20:04

@COOKFORD

From my own experience and my friends’, hardly any. We live with men nearing 70 and sex is a distant memory for nearly all of us

i don't mean to sound harsh but sex is gone because you too are old, if it was a younger attractive women he'd want it.

He might want it but the chances are he wouldn’t be able to rise to the occasion. Age affects cocks too!
COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 20:05

He might want it but the chances are he wouldn’t be able to rise to the occasion. Age affects cocks too

ofcourse but he can do plenty of other sexual things to you even with a limp cock.

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 20:07

So many women seem to want equality on their own terms.

I can absolutely assure you that there are just as many men who only want equality on their terms too. It's the one thing everyone can agree on regarding feminism.

I've seen you on other threads, actually. All you want is a female audience for your ranting misogyny. You should be grateful we can provide. What would you do without us?

DrSbaitso · 02/10/2021 20:07

@COOKFORD

plenty of people settle for many reasons. Fear of being alone, wanting a 'family', etc etc. Why is money itself suddenly a grubby reason but the others aren't

money is very different from the things you mentioned.

Why?
Blossomtoes · 02/10/2021 20:08

@COOKFORD

He might want it but the chances are he wouldn’t be able to rise to the occasion. Age affects cocks too

ofcourse but he can do plenty of other sexual things to you even with a limp cock.

Why would he want to? If he’s not going to get satisfaction, what’s in it for him? You don’t seem to know much about old men!
felulageller · 02/10/2021 20:08

Look around at celebrity men over 70. Their wives aren't in their 70s or 70s or 50s!

COOKFORD · 02/10/2021 20:09

Why

because wanting family and human companionship are noble and natural things. Wanting excess money at the expense of another person isn't.

OP posts:
BakingOfTheFoodCats · 02/10/2021 20:10

Yes absolutely!

Marzipanfruit · 02/10/2021 20:10

I'd definitely do it, in answer to the original question. However, as I am 60 and already married chance would be a fine thing. ....😆